Boyd Bailey is the founder of Wisdom Hunters, an Atlanta-based ministry that encourages Christians to live out God's unchanging truth in a changing world.
Boyd received his Bachelor of Arts from Jacksonville State University and his Masters of Divinity from Southwestern Seminary. He and Rita, his wife of 30 plus years, live in Roswell, Georgia and are blessed with four daughters, three sons-in-law and five grandchildren. His official web site is www.wisdomhunters.com and twitter@wisdomhunters.
All fathers are a work in process — none perfect, no not one. Boy, do I still feel this — even though my oldest child is 33-years-old! I prayed Rebekah (our first child) would have extra patience, since I was always practicing on her. Many times trial and error (she might say terror!) was my approach to fatherhood. I often questioned myself, “Was I too strict?” “Did I balance firmness with fun?” Fortunately, God filled the gaps of my inadequacies. His grace became our family’s relational glue. My imperfection as a father keeps me dependent on my heavenly Father.
Jesus describes a man with two sons. So, we know from the outset this dad, like the rest of us, was a flawed father. No doubt he tried to do the best with what he had. But the pressure of raising two very different boys was real and raw. One day, he faced the challenge of how to respond to the disrespectful demand of his youngest son. The dad decided to give both boys their inheritance, knowing they might not be ready. The younger squandered his stuff and the oldest grew self-righteous. What looked like a major parenting blunder — turned out to be a decision that brought the youngest back to God. Imperfect fathers trust the Lord to bring about His perfect plan.
“For a son dishonors his father… But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.”
Micah 7:6-7
For the son despises his father. The daughter defies her mother.The daughter-in-law defies her mother-in-law. Your enemies are right in your own household! As for me, I look to the LORD for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me.
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Do you feel overwhelmed with your responsibilities as a dad? The day in and day out energy it takes to love and lead your little ones takes much more out of you than you ever imagined. One thing is for certain: you can’t be your best without learning from the best. Alone you may be a better father than some, but with the help of others you can become a better dad than most. So, invite three other dads for coffee and discuss books and scripture about parenting. Set the tone by being vulnerable about your own insecurities. Imperfect fathers learn from imperfect fathers.
Above all, as imperfect earthly fathers we lean into our perfect heavenly Father. He takes our best efforts and carries out His will. He takes our mistakes and teaches us humility. He takes our weaknesses and makes us strong in Him. Our imperfections are not an excuse to plateau as a parent. We keep learning. We ask forgiveness from our child. We pray with our child. We play with our child. When we are honest about our fears and struggles we create an environment of open communication. Fathers fail when they quit, but they succeed when they stay engaged with their child and with Christ. Fatherhood is not for the faint of heart, but it is for a heart of faith.
“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”
Psalms 103:13
The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
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Prayer: Heavenly Father keep me in the process of receiving your perfect love and grace.
Luke 11:11
"You fathers—if your children ask* for a fish, do you give them a snake instead?
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1 Corinthians 4:15
For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you.
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Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
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God’s heart for mentoring is motivated by love: love for God and love for people to grow in grace and love for God. I have been blessed by multiple mentors over the years. Men loved me where I was, but loved me too much to allow me to remain where I was in my relationship with Christ, my wife, children, family, and friends. Because these men intentionally invested in me — I seek to prayerfully invest time, energy, and money in other men. I am an imperfect person helping other imperfect people grow in the perfect love of Jesus. God has a heart for mentoring.
Paul affectionally refers to Timothy as his son in the faith. The older saw potential in the younger. Timothy’s humility made him teachable and a worthy candidate to grow stronger in the grace of Christ Jesus. Paul boldly challenged Timothy in the presence of others to select qualified men who would also teach other men. Like training a good soldier — effective mentoring requires discipline, sacrifice, and suffering. Since life change necessitates life engagement, mentors do life with those who want a better life. Invest in reliable people — who will invest in reliable people.
“Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave. But select capable men from all the people — men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain — and appoint them as officials...” (
Exodus 18:20-21
Teach them God's decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives. But select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as leaders over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten.
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If you wait to mentor until you feel perfectly qualified, you will never mentor. Those who influence the most feel the least qualified. They are vulnerable with their own struggles, sins, and shortcomings. The younger can relate to the older who are real about their insecurities, fears, and failures. Like Paul, you invite sincere seekers to join you in your journey with Jesus through life. The great adventure of faith is not without tests and trials. But together — young and old — you persevere together. Start with one who wants to grow — then expand into a small community.
Radical Mentoring is a proven process for you to follow. I have used this for years and it works beautifully. By invitation only, you invite six to eight hungry hearts into your home once a month for a year. You read books, memorize scripture, and experience two overnight retreats together. Use whatever system works for you. You may say, “Where do I start?” Begin in prayer. Ask the Lord to lead you to people who have a passion to grow in their faith, character, and relationships. Most of all, lean into the Holy Spirit to teach your mind and heart. Mentors are loved by God.
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” (
Psalms 143:8
Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you.Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.
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Prayer: Heavenly Father, lead me to love and mentor others in a way that grows them in Your love.
Application: Who can I ask to join me for a yearlong journey together in a radical mentoring group?
Related Readings: Psalm 119:12;
Acts 6:3
And so, brothers, select seven men who are well respected and are full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will give them this responsibility.
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1 Corinthians 4:15-17
For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. So I urge you to imitate me. That's why I have sent Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. He will remind you of how I follow Christ Jesus, just as I teach in all the churches wherever I go.
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2 Thessalonians 3:9
We certainly had the right to ask you to feed us, but we wanted to give you an example to follow.
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Hebrews 6:12
Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God's promises because of their faith and endurance.
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Hebrews 13:7
Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith.
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Copyright 2016 Boyd Bailey. Used by permission from Boyd Bailey at wisdomhunters.com.
Unhealthy heart conditions include: faintheartedness, loss of heart, a broken heart, a foolish and a hard heart. The remedy for these spiritual ailments is a whole heart for Jesus. You may feel fainthearted—weary in your faith and work—if so slow down, rest and allow the Spirit to restore your heart to wholeness. A loss of heart is a reflection of hope deferred, which creates a sickly soul condition, but hope in Christ gives your heart peace and reassurance. Perhaps your heart is broken by past hurt or present rejection. Seek your heavenly Father to be forgiven and to forgive.
Be on guard, for a foolish heart forgets God or even stops believing God. Excessive worry can be a form of atheism. When we are paralyzed by fear and anxiety we act like God does not exist. So, we guard against a foolish heart by gaining a heart of wisdom. The wise seek the Lord to learn who to be and what to do. Most disturbing is a hard heart—someone jaded by injustice and/or the lack of integrity in others. Fortunately, by faith in Jesus our hard heart can be replaced by a heart born from above. A heart from the Lord gives us a heart for the Lord. So, how’s your heart?
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (
Luke 6:45
A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
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Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me Your heart of love, grace and forgiveness.
Application: To what spiritual ailment in my heart do I need to apply God’s remedies?
Related Readings: Isaiah 26:3;
Matthew 6:25-34
"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? "And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? "So don't worry about these things, saying, `What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God* above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.
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John 14:27
"I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.
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Ephesians 3:19
May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
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Ephesians 6:18
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.*
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Copyright 2016 Boyd Bailey. Used by permission from Boyd Bailey at wisdomhunters.com.
