CALM BEFORE THE STORM

Dawn Spicer was the youngest of three girls living in a Christian home in Virginia Beach. Her family attended First Baptist Norfolk Church, where her father taught Sunday school. At the age of 7, she gave her life to Christ.

Through her teen years, Dawn knew how to pretend things were good while feeling empty and worthless. She went through a rebellious stage but eventually got her life right with the Lord.

While attending college, she met Jeremy, and they hit it off.  After college, they married and had twin boys three years later. Life was perfect. Until it wasn't.

While attending Oak River Church, they were very involved in ministry with Dawn leading worship and women’s ministry. During that time, she and Jeremy were struggling to keep up the business of life.

Dawn explains, “I saw myself as never being good enough.  I never was confident in anything. I always felt like I had ‘mom-guilt' - I could do something better. And as a wife, I felt like I could do better. I felt like Jeremy deserved better. It was nothing that anyone else was making me feel like, it was my own insecurities."

WRECKED TO RESTORED

Dawn’s best friend and their families were very close. Not only did they live right by each other, they also attended the same church where Dawn and her best friend’s husband led worship together.

Over time, one inappropriate text turned into another. Then, boundaries were crossed that shouldn’t have been which eventually turned into an affair. “A foothold becomes a stronghold.  You start to reason all your actions out so it makes it ok in your mind.  Then you completely let your guard down and any voice of reason goes out the window. Things you never thought you’d do, you’re doing.  Places you never thought you’d go, you are going.  And somehow in that deceived mind of yours, everything is ok,” Dawn shares. 

 Three months later, while confiding her hidden sin to a friend, hoping she would take Dawn’s side, it didn’t go as planned. Her friend told Dawn to end the affair or she would tell their pastor. Terrified, embarrassed, and ashamed, Dawn was forced to deal with her sin. She admits that telling Jeremy was the hardest part. He was on a mission trip and she had to wait a week to tell him face-to-face. Dawn explains, “It wasn’t until I saw my husband completely broken, unable to physically get up, that I realized the depth of what I had done. It was at that point that I fell flat on my face and confessed to the Lord and was completely broken and surrendered everything to the Lord.”

Jeremy and Dawn began marital counseling and Jeremy eventually forgave her. Today, 10 years later, they are doing great and Dawn is involved in ministry again. “There is freedom in surrender. It’s hard, but that’s how you find freedom,” she explains.

 In her book, Even Still, Dawn candidly shares her story. She wrote the book to help others trapped in sin find freedom. She also wants to educate those around those who are broken to learn how to respond and help them experience restoration. “I believe one of the highest callings God can ask of us is walking through the mud with someone,” she explains. The church was so vital in helping Dawn walk through the process from repentance to restoration.

Now, she wants to do the same for those struggling. Dawn says, “No matter what you are going through whether it is a marriage struggle, whether it is a job struggle, whatever bad choices, whatever it is that you’re going through the Lord can heal that, the Lord can redeem that, and the Lord will use it.”

For more information on Dawn Spicer click the Link! 

To purchase the Kindle version of Even Still click the Link!

CREDITS

Author, Even Still (self-published, 2024); BA in Religion: Christian Ministries, Liberty Univ.; speaker; married to Jeremy for over 22 years; twin boys, Kaden & Laden, attending Liberty Univ

Carol Esham remembers, “September 19th, 1999, we took the boat out onto the river for a cruise. What happened next, it changed our lives forever.”

Bob Esham says, “Carol and I were married on August 24th in 1984. What should have been a day that ushered in marital bliss was instead the beginning of a volatile union.

“We argued about everything,” says Carol. “We argued about nothing.”

“Carol wanted to get married and I didn't,” recalls Bob. “And I figured if I married her, that the arguing would stop and we'd get along a little better. And obviously that didn't work out very well.”

“We’re two different people. We're just total opposites and many people are total opposites. But we don't see eye to eye on anything,” says Carol. “What made matters worse was that I grew up in an Italian family and it seemed like the men gave the women whatever they wanted. And that's what I expected.”

“Our worldviews were so different and we really didn't even live like a married couple. We were more like roommates. I think there was always a spark of love there, but we just didn't like each other,” says Bob.

Carol says, “I think we both wanted to be right and we both couldn't understand why the other person wasn't thinking the same.”

"As Carol became more and more bitter, I escaped through drinking alcohol and staying gone. I was a pilot. I was able to pick up the longest trips I could pick up,” recalls Bob. “I stayed gone as much as I could.”

Carol says, “The more that I tried to change him, the more that he stonewalled, he disengaged, and that's why he didn't even want to come home.”

“Alcohol just seemed to dull the pain. Drinking was a real problem for me,” says Bob.

“If he had one drink, he was going to have ten drinks and then he would just not be fun to be around,” remembers Carol. 

“For the next 15 years, we drifted further and further apart,” says Bob. 

“We sort of settled into what was mediocre or less than mediocre,” Carol says. 

“Everything changed on September 19th, 1999. It started with us attending my friend's wedding,” says Bob. “At the beginning of the wedding, Billy goes down to the front of the chapel and he gave his testimony, just talked about what Jesus had done in his life. I just knew God was speaking to me and God was telling me, 'Bob, it's time to get off the fence. It's time to quit drinking.' It was just probably the clearest I'd ever heard God speak. And I just knew that my life was going to change. Later that day, we took our boat out under the Ohio River for a cruise. I told Carol what I felt. God had spoken to me that day.”

Carol recalls, “I'm thinking, 'Well, that sounds really good. I don't really know that that's going to happen. But one could only hope.' Bob went to start the boat back up, but the engine was dead.”

Bob says, “There was a fuel leak, and I fixed the fuel leak, cleaned everything up and I thought everything was going to be fine.”

“When Bob hit the starter switch, the boat exploded!” recalls Carol. 

“Blew up! Flames everywhere. And here I looked at her, and she was actually flying backwards off of the boat. And I'm guessing probably 20 or 25 feet from the boat. She was just in the air going backwards,” says Bob. 

“Since I wasn't a swimmer, I didn't have a life jacket on. I was pretty sure I would drown,” Carol recalls. “And that's when I cried out to God. And I said, ‘Lord, please don't let it end like this!'”

“I was completely surrounded by flames,” says Bob, “And, and I...I saw Carol come to the surface in the water.”

Carol says, “I can't explain it, but just it was serene, just looking around, looking at a burning boat, not understanding what was really happening at the moment.”

“Nearby boaters saw the accident and called 911. They helped us to shore, and an off duty nurse tended to us,” recalls Bob. “I was remarkably unscathed. Carol, however, suffered first, second, and third degree burns. She spent a week in the hospital recovering, and the near-death experience was a wake up call for both of us. We knew that...that God saved us for purpose. There was just no question about it. Carol and I were in total agreement on that. One of the first times we ever agreed on anything.”

Carol says, “All of a sudden, when you almost lose somebody that you love, even though the marriage wasn't good, we were both immediately on board to find a way to have a good marriage.”

“We just immersed ourselves in God's Word and everything we could do to get closer to Jesus and we began a faith journey that day,” says Bob.

“God was teaching me things that I didn't know about myself. And Bob was doing the same thing. All of a sudden we found ourselves to be on the same page. We were chasing after the same things,” Carol says. 

Bob confirms, “We had done it our own way for way too long. And once we started being obedient to what God was telling us, we fell in love.”

Carol says, “Over the next 15 years, our marriage went from being something that caused us pain to becoming something we cherish to this day. As a result, in 2014, we started a ministry we call, Merci, to help others struggling in their marriage. God has transformed every area of our lives which made it easier for us to do well in marriage.”

Bob says, “When we do this God's way, it's beautiful. We do it our way, not so much.”

Carol says, “Love is totally different when it's unselfish. It's like finding the cure for cancer. You just want to shout it from the rooftops that if God could save our marriage, he could save everybody's marriages. 'We went through fire and water, yet You took us to a place of abundance.' And that's the life we're living now. We're living a life of abundance, following God's ways and sharing it with other people. And we can't have a greater joy than that.”

Find out more about Carol and Bob Esham's marriage ministry, Merci, at www.MarriageatMerci.org.
 

Lihao has been an aspiring author since he was 10.

He explains, “I started writing about a boy who always overcame his enemies.  There was a lot of hope in my stories, which gave me hope.”

Lihao was born with a hole in his heart. His mother abandoned the family, leaving his father to raise Lihao alone.

“His colds were much worse than other kids’, his father says.  “He coughed and coughed, and his heart beat really hard.  He was like an old man who couldn’t catch his breath.  It was difficult to watch.”

Lihao adds, “My heart hurt really bad, like a big stone pressing on it.”

Mr. Song worked long hours in construction.  Whenever possible, he researched remedies and went to the mountains to get herbs he thought might cure Lihao’s heart.  But nothing worked, and Lihao continued to get worse. 

“The larger the hole got, the more pressure was on his heart, and the more pain,” declares Mr. Song.

“Sometimes in PE class, my heart beat really fast, like a needle was piercing me,”
Lihao shares.  “I felt dizzy, and my eyes got hot.  I covered my chest and lay on the ground.  My classmates laughed at me.”

Sometimes, he got pneumonia.

“He looked awful.  He looked like he was dead,” Mr. Song recalls.  “His lips got blue.  I was scared, so I took him to the hospital.  A doctor had me sign a critical notice.  He said that if Lihao didn't get surgery, he might not live to be 20 years old.  But the surgery was very expensive and there was no way for me to ever afford it.  The news felt like a building crashing down on me.”

Lihao says, “I was hot, then cold, and I couldn't catch my breath.  The doctor put oxygen in my nose.”  He recalls, “I have a friend who also had heart disease and he died of a heart attack.  I was worried I’d die, just like him.”

Through it all, Lihao continued to write.

He remembers, “My hands shook and my handwriting was crooked, but I thought to myself, if I can write more, I will.  Writing helped me escape my pain.”

He also prayed.

“Some friends told me about Jesus,” Lihao shares.  “I believed Jesus could help me, and I asked him to take away my heart disease.”

Then a doctor told Mr. Song about Operation Blessing, and you helped make heart surgery possible.

“Lihao’s illness is cured,” exclaims Mr. Song.  “Now he can run like a normal child. Thank you all for your concern and support.”

“I can jump and race with my classmates,” exclaims Lihao.  He concludes, “Now, I write about how Jesus encourages and helps people overcome hard times.  And when I get older, I want to be a part of Operation Blessing and help people like you helped me.”

Partnering with CBN means more than just giving—you’re helping feed and clothe families, providing medical aid to those without access to hospitals and doctors, and helping provide clean water for the thirsty. Your faithful giving brings hope to the hopeless and the truth of God’s Word to millions of homes through The 700 Club! Help bring the love of Christ to the world when you become a CBN partner today!

He’s an all-American linebacker, playing in his final season at North Carolina.  Kaimon Rucker is an explosive and fierce competitor who is primed to be a top choice in next year’s NFL draft. His on-field prowess earned him a unique nickname.

Will Dawson: “Freshman year, you play with such physicality you get the nickname, Kaimon ‘The Butcher.’”

ESPN Announcer (narrating game): “Tim cross, the defensive line coach said of Kaimon Rucker, he said, ‘He’s a rolling ball of butcher knives.’ A rolling ball of butcher knives!’”

Kaimon Rucker: “The announcers enjoyed it. We shortened it down to ‘The Butcher, Ruck the Butcher.’ That’s kind how the whole ‘The Butcher’ persona came, off of that one compliment.

By his sophomore season, Kaimon was “rolling” along, making an enormous impact for the Tar Heels and gaining national notoriety. However, in the spring before his junior season, doctors determined Kaimon had a torn meniscus in his left knee and would need surgery. Outwardly his confidence and toughness were unmatched. Inwardly, a bout with anxiety and depression threatened to derail his entire career.

“It was just like just, anxiousness of not being able to display what kind of player I am,” says Rucker. “During the spring at the time where they were going to place me on the field, the way the classes were going, I wasn't lifting as much as I wanted to. That was just like so many different things, a little whole whirlwind of emotions at that time.

So I was feeling, a high levels of anxiety. I was honestly, I was depressed for a little bit at that time as well.”

Kaimon’s tough persona on the field, made asking for help difficult.

“I started to realize that I internalized a lot of things,” he says. “Because of my mindset, because I always wanted to push through things, because I was always determined.

I've done that to an unhealthy amount, to the point where I just was, shaken up soda bottle. At the time, I was just, like, at any given moment. I could, like, explode in terms of just like I could cry. I could get upset for no reason. I was just in that mode where I was like, I couldn't figure out where I was.”

Kaimon grew up in a Christian home, so he knew where to turn when things were tough.

“First of all, I had to be real with myself and understand that I don't need to play football. I play football. Like I'm separate from what my sport is,” says Rucker.  “You know with the realization of that, I had to fall back on my faith, really, fall back to what really gave me peace, what really gave me reconciliation of who I am as a person.

And just like, understanding like, if all things were to fail and all things were to crash down who can I definitely give my love to? And that was Jesus.”

Fundamentals have been key to Kaimon’s success on the field and he realized he needed to brush up on some other necessities.

“I had to really get back to the Word. I had to get back and start praying. And I had to get back to these things, even though these are like small things that even as Christians we often look over, those are things, and stuff like I have to get back to being with because these little things is what caused me to have big jumps in my life, to have big jumps in my in my success in my accolades and things of that nature,” he says.

Will Dawson: “I saw a video of you being baptized on social media. How special was that moment?”

Kaimon Rucker: “That was a very special moment. That was the first time I've ever gotten baptized. I feel like this was kind of like my first jump into really professing my faith because I wanted to. And so that was a moment that I'll never forget. The baptism wasn't just for me. This was for other people to realize, like, it's okay to profess your faith. And being a D1 football player, like there's going to be a whole bunch of things that happening around you, but that doesn't mean that you still can’t profess your faith. That doesn't mean you can't be true to who you are, and it doesn't mean you can't be you. And so, I wanted to just really set that tone for the rest of the team.”

As he begins his final season at North Carolina, Kaimon knows that in just a few short months, if all goes well, he will hear his name called in the NFL draft. Of all the highs and lows he’s experienced, Kaimon has a simple message for others.

“I want to fulfill whatever purpose God has for me,” he says. “Whether that’s in the NFL whether it’s not, whether that’s somewhere else. Sometimes as Christians we have to be real with ourselves. You have to be real with God. God said come as you are. You don’t ever get clean to get into the shower. You have to get into the shower dirty in order to clean yourself. But that’s how you gotta come to God. You gotta put your faith in Him and that’s why the faith means the world to me cause I can go to God whatever way I am.”