He’s an all-American linebacker, playing in his final season at North Carolina.  Kaimon Rucker is an explosive and fierce competitor who is primed to be a top choice in next year’s NFL draft. His on-field prowess earned him a unique nickname.

Will Dawson: “Freshman year, you play with such physicality you get the nickname, Kaimon ‘The Butcher.’”

ESPN Announcer (narrating game): “Tim cross, the defensive line coach said of Kaimon Rucker, he said, ‘He’s a rolling ball of butcher knives.’ A rolling ball of butcher knives!’”

Kaimon Rucker: “The announcers enjoyed it. We shortened it down to ‘The Butcher, Ruck the Butcher.’ That’s kind how the whole ‘The Butcher’ persona came, off of that one compliment.

By his sophomore season, Kaimon was “rolling” along, making an enormous impact for the Tar Heels and gaining national notoriety. However, in the spring before his junior season, doctors determined Kaimon had a torn meniscus in his left knee and would need surgery. Outwardly his confidence and toughness were unmatched. Inwardly, a bout with anxiety and depression threatened to derail his entire career.

“It was just like just, anxiousness of not being able to display what kind of player I am,” says Rucker. “During the spring at the time where they were going to place me on the field, the way the classes were going, I wasn't lifting as much as I wanted to. That was just like so many different things, a little whole whirlwind of emotions at that time.

So I was feeling, a high levels of anxiety. I was honestly, I was depressed for a little bit at that time as well.”

Kaimon’s tough persona on the field, made asking for help difficult.

“I started to realize that I internalized a lot of things,” he says. “Because of my mindset, because I always wanted to push through things, because I was always determined.

I've done that to an unhealthy amount, to the point where I just was, shaken up soda bottle. At the time, I was just, like, at any given moment. I could, like, explode in terms of just like I could cry. I could get upset for no reason. I was just in that mode where I was like, I couldn't figure out where I was.”

Kaimon grew up in a Christian home, so he knew where to turn when things were tough.

“First of all, I had to be real with myself and understand that I don't need to play football. I play football. Like I'm separate from what my sport is,” says Rucker.  “You know with the realization of that, I had to fall back on my faith, really, fall back to what really gave me peace, what really gave me reconciliation of who I am as a person.

And just like, understanding like, if all things were to fail and all things were to crash down who can I definitely give my love to? And that was Jesus.”

Fundamentals have been key to Kaimon’s success on the field and he realized he needed to brush up on some other necessities.

“I had to really get back to the Word. I had to get back and start praying. And I had to get back to these things, even though these are like small things that even as Christians we often look over, those are things, and stuff like I have to get back to being with because these little things is what caused me to have big jumps in my life, to have big jumps in my in my success in my accolades and things of that nature,” he says.

Will Dawson: “I saw a video of you being baptized on social media. How special was that moment?”

Kaimon Rucker: “That was a very special moment. That was the first time I've ever gotten baptized. I feel like this was kind of like my first jump into really professing my faith because I wanted to. And so that was a moment that I'll never forget. The baptism wasn't just for me. This was for other people to realize, like, it's okay to profess your faith. And being a D1 football player, like there's going to be a whole bunch of things that happening around you, but that doesn't mean that you still can’t profess your faith. That doesn't mean you can't be true to who you are, and it doesn't mean you can't be you. And so, I wanted to just really set that tone for the rest of the team.”

As he begins his final season at North Carolina, Kaimon knows that in just a few short months, if all goes well, he will hear his name called in the NFL draft. Of all the highs and lows he’s experienced, Kaimon has a simple message for others.

“I want to fulfill whatever purpose God has for me,” he says. “Whether that’s in the NFL whether it’s not, whether that’s somewhere else. Sometimes as Christians we have to be real with ourselves. You have to be real with God. God said come as you are. You don’t ever get clean to get into the shower. You have to get into the shower dirty in order to clean yourself. But that’s how you gotta come to God. You gotta put your faith in Him and that’s why the faith means the world to me cause I can go to God whatever way I am.”

Steven remembers, “And I was just about to pull the trigger and kill him. A light comes on in the house across the street. So, in that second, he turns around, he sees the gun trained at his head. He is terrified.”

Steven Spellman had known nothing but abandonment, rejection, anger and violence. His mom, a crack addict, left him and his brother in a hotel room when he was 11, and never returned. His dad had long since left, leaving the two brothers to the foster care system.

Steven shared, “If my mother didn't want me and my dad didn't care about me, certainly God wouldn't, nobody else would. It didn't hurt me that no one loved me. I didn't expect love. I was worthless.”

And now at 17 years old and selling drugs to put himself through community college, he pulled a gun on a police officer investigating a crime in a neighborhood. Steven was ready to face the consequences.

Steven recalls, “So we're standing in the stalemate, 'put your gun down, drop it. You drop your gun,” yelled the officer.

Lying on the street and bleeding from three gunshot wounds, Steven thought about one of his foster mothers, Ms. Francis, who read the Bible to him and was the only person to ever show he mattered.

Steven says, “When she talked to me, I wasn’t a burden. That’s the thing I remember most. I was wanted. And she would tell me, it’s because God wants you. As I stared up at the stars, I said to the Lord, ‘I’m coming home. Save my soul. But don’t let me live. Don’t let me wake up.’ He answered my prayer and didn’t answer the next one; He saved my soul and He let me live.”

The wounds would cost Steven 40% of his right lung, two ribs that were removed, and a bullet lodged in his spine that left Steven confined to a wheelchair. Steven would spend four years in federal prison for his crimes. He used that time reading his Bible and getting to know his newfound savior. Even then, the voices of his past continued to plague him, leaving him little hope that God would heal him.

Steven shares, “I was to suffer through hell on my way to heaven. And I was just grateful that I was going to heaven instead of hell.”

After Steven was released from prison, he married his teenage sweetheart, Susanne, and they soon had two daughters. Steven’s inability to hold a job because of his disability opened the door to depression. Susanne, a CNA, began working 16-hour shifts. Still, she loved her husband and did what she could.

Susanne recalls, “I couldn’t encourage him. He was depressed. His countenance was low. I was always praying that the Lord would heal him.”

At the suggestion of his wife, Steven started writing and he also took care of their two daughters. By the summer of 2019, Steven, now 39 years old and overweight, could only walk short distances with the aid of a cane. So he began taking martial arts classes to strengthen his body and for self-defense. One day, his instructor, Scott, prayed for God to heal him. Something Steven had long given up on.

Steven remembers, “'So, like, do you feel anything? Has anything changed?' And I told him, 'no.' He began to ask me, ‘Well, what is your relationship like with God? How do you see your savior?’ And I told him, 'My savior is a harsh task master. And I am a tool in His toolkit and not a particularly well-kept tool.'”

Scott’s wife, Lynn, who was also there, spoke up. Steven recalled, “'No. You are beloved of God. His thoughts towards you are more than the grains of sand upon the sea. He knew you before you were ever born.' That resonated with me in a way that was spiritual.”

Scott prayed again. And then…Steven shares, “I lifted my cane above my head and I'm looking in astonishment. So the pain is gone.”

He told Susanne about how God healed him.

Susanne remembers, “I would see him walking around and he was standing taller, and he wasn't using his cane. I had my husband back full of life again.”

Eventually, Steven was fully mobile and began working at Scott’s martial arts studio. He also continued writing which allowed Susanne to quit her job and stay home to take care of her family like she always wanted. Then, three years after his healing, Steven went to get x-rays.

Steven recalls, “And she was like, ‘Your right lung, the one you claim was 40% removed is more robust. The two ribs you claim are removed are more robust than the others.’ So, I asked her what is the significance of the...this bullet? And she was like, ‘your spinal column has calcified around it. It's like rebar now. Your spinal column is actually stronger because of it.’”

Today, Steven continues his work as an author and also has a ministry where he prays for others to get healed, physically, emotionally and spiritually. He and Susanne encourage everyone to trust God’s love for them so they can receive His miraculous touch too.”

Susanne shares, “God is there. Even when it don't seem like He’s there. And He hears every word that you say. God hears you. And He sees, and there is hope. And that is why Jesus is our hope.”

Steven shares, “The power of prayer is immeasurable. The Bible says all things are possible to him that believes. So if you believe, you can ask whatever you will and you will have it.”

Discover more about Steven and the books he has written at www.StevenSpellmanBooks.com. You can also email Steven at spellmanbooks@icloud.com. 

For information regarding Steven's martial arts instructor and prayer partner, please email Scott Gilbert at Savior Martial Arts: scott.gilbert@saviormartialarts.org

Three-year-old Jun (John) often covered his mouth because other kids laughed at him.

“Kids called him Cleft boy!” his dad reported.  “Then he would get mad and chase them away.” 

The family lives in a remote mountain village in the Philippines.  Jun’s dad, Joel, has been taking care of his son while his wife cares for a relative in another province. Joel said Jun is becoming more withdrawn and losing weight. 

“He can’t really chew his food so he just swallows it straight. He hides in the corner during mealtimes. He would touch his mouth and said, ‘I want to get this fixed.’”

Joel is a farmer and barely makes enough for food. He can't afford to travel to a distant    hospital, let alone pay for surgery.  “I want my son to get an operation so he can study and have a good life. But if no one helps us that won’t happen.”

Then Operation Blessing met with the family and, thanks to YOU, paid for Jun to receive free surgery to repair the cleft lip.  Soon after surgery, we received some video from a friend’s phone showing the operation was a success! 

It turns out that MANY other children in the surrounding villages have children with cleft lips. So Operation Blessing is now working to help them as well!  

“Thank you for helping my son and for doing what you said you would do,” declared Joel. Though we are very far away, you still came and helped us.  Now many other kids will be helped as well!”

Do you know that CBN partners can reach people around the world for Christ every day? We invite you to join us in ministry together as we provide financial support to those in need through our life-giving surgeries, food and clothing programs, humanitarian aid, and so much more! When you give today and become a CBN partner, you’ll help transform lives in the name of Jesus Christ! Join us now!

THE UNTHINKABLE

On February 21, 2021, Megan’s husband of ten years, Randy, died of a heart attack at age thirty-six. Suddenly, she became a young widow with two small children (ages 2 and 5 years old). A few months after his death, Megan noticed she took pride in not needing anything or anyone. To make repairs around the house, she watched a few YouTube videos and took pride in the fact that she was able to fix her cabinets, change her windshield wipers, and fix her sprinkler. Like many other widows, she did not want to be dependent on others. Megan says, “Humanity at large has similar tendencies.”

JOURNEYING WITH GOD

Independence is a virtue that is often praised in our culture but can be a hindrance in the Christian faith. “Autonomy (self-reliant) is the tendency to live our lives, even our faith, trusting in ourselves alone,” shares Megan. Whereas faith is nothing more than dependence on God. She says, “It is acknowledging that God is God, and we are not, and that we need Him for absolutely everything. It is relying on God for what we are tempted to rely on ourselves for. The struggle of dependence is not a matter of who is in control, for God is the one truly in control. It’s about what kind of relationship we want to have with the one who is in control, a choice between a competing or submitting relationship.”

Over the past few years, Megan has been traveling and teaching while raising her sons. She has also been grieving the loss of her best friend and partner. Yet even in the midst of her grief she has found gratitude (longing for God like she has never longed for Him before). Her pain has allowed her to relate to the pain of others. Her first sermon after Randy died was difficult to say the least. Her message was on trials. After she ended the sermon, she felt self-conscious, empty, and held her breath. The lead pastor walked towards her still on stage and said, “You’ve going to be moving from being really impressive to really impactful because pain is relatable.”

Trials are inevitable so keep your eyes on Jesus and reach out for Him in the pain. “This journey (grief) is not solitary; it’s a shared experience within a community of believers.”

IMPOSSIBLE MATH

A week after Randy’s death, Megan was talking with her friends about how after ten years of marriage, they were really starting to live into the truth of two becoming one. Then the unthinkable happened. Megan recalls saying to her friends, “I was finally beginning to understand the crazy math of marriage two becoming one. But what happens when one loses one?” A year later her friend addressed the question Megan proposed. She said, “Megan, I’ve watched you over the past year, and it seems as though half of you is in heaven.” Just as Megan and Randy became one on their wedding day, the same is true of our faith and trust in God as well. “The journey God is taking us on in our relationship with Him is intended to develop our oneness with Him as we rely on His guidance and faithfulness,” reveals Megan. Over the years in their marriage, Megan got to know Randy better, but she also got to know herself more. The same is true in our relationship with God. We are not meant to journey this life without God. Instead, we are to trust His sovereignty more and our autonomy less.

HOW TO WALK WITH GOD

Just like Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (ESV) Using these scriptures as a guide, Megan reminds you how to walk with God in your everyday routines:

• Trust in the Lord (with all your heart) – God is in control, relieving you of the burden of trying to be. Our job is to be open to His ways. Don’t try to hide anything from Him. Go to God with everything, even your anxiety. You don’t have to ignore your worries, instead speak to Him about your concerns and the way you don’t trust Him. Be truthful. He will grow you and transform you when you open up to Him. This is a process, and it requires vulnerability and time spent with Him.
• Lean not (on your own understanding) - Don’t rely on yourself. Instead, acknowledge God everywhere and He will align your desires with His. In different seasons of life, Megan equated the health of her spiritual life with how good she was at spiritual disciplines (praying, reading the Bible, and serving others). Although the disciplines are a conduit, the transformation within you is a matter of grace, not your work. Another example Megan shares from her personal life is a wandering mind in prayer. “I used to think a wandering mind was a distraction from prayer. The problem was I didn’t know my wandering mind was a gift. It brings my mind to the topics that already have my heart, the very things God is interested in talking to me about because they are most interesting to me,” reveals Megan.
• Submit to Him – Grief is one of the ways that can be submitted to God. For the first two weeks after Randy’s death, Megan didn’t pray with words, “My heart couldn’t speak a coherent sentence. I trusted that the Holy Spirit was praying for me with groans.” She believes her grief has drawn her closer to God and she has gained two superpowers: (1) she now knows she can’t do this life alone and (2) she cares a whole lot about the things that really matter and is finally beginning to care a whole lot less about all those things that really don’t.
• He will make your paths straight – God will guide you and align your desires with His. All you have to do is open your heart to Him and trust that He is there. For example, Randy and Megan used to live downtown and walk everywhere. Randy would always remind his son to hold his hand tightly over every alleyway. The truth is even if his son forgot to hold his hand tightly, Randy was already holding his hand.

For more information on Megan Fate Marshman click the Link! 

To purchase her book Relaxed click the Link! 

CREDITS

Author, Relaxed, (Zondervan Books, 2024); Teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church; Director of women’s ministries at Hume Lake Christian Camps; Women’s pastor at Arbor Road Church; Received a B.S. degree in communication studies from Westmont College; Pursuing Doctorate of Ministry from Biola University; Two sons, Foster and Jedidiah