Grieving Our Mistakes

King David’s life is so precious to me. He lived his life wide open for the world to hear about and for the Holy Spirit to use to minister to our hearts today. But what has connected me with his life the most was his sin. 

Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.” After Nathan returned to his home, the Lord sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah’s wife. David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused. (2 Samuel 12:13-17 NLT) 

My journey back to my heavenly Father’s heart began with sin, just like King David. In his life, the consequence of his sin was the death of his child; in my life, it was the death of my marriage. It is a hard reality when you stand alone, weeping over the result of destructive choices. Looking around, you see nothing but pain and deep wounds in the eyes of the people who cared for you and loved you. Never again would I gather around a table with these faces, never again would I hear their voices on the other end of the line, and never again would I be part of this family. 

After my divorce, I mourned over the destruction that I caused. I grieved my choices, the consequences, and the aftermath I had to live in. The dark nights of my soul were too many to count. At the time, I did not know God’s heart for me. I didn’t know that my Redeemer was patiently waiting for me to lay the broken pieces of my life at His feet so He could heal my wounds. I didn't realize that my shame, guilt, and regret would be replaced with a ring, robe, and sandals from a Father who was running down my road. I didn’t know the depths of restoration and redemption that waited for me on the other side of my sorrow. 

Then David comforted Bathsheba, his wife, and slept with her. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son, and David named him Solomon. The Lord loved the child and sent word through Nathan the prophet that they should name him Jedidiah (which means “beloved of the Lord”), as the Lord had commanded. (2 Samuel 12:24-25)

Solomon’s life was marked with significance. He was the evidence of God’s restoring power in King David’s life, and God did even more during his life than what took place during King David’s. Today, my life is defined not by my mistakes. God did not leave me in my grief or shame; he restored my hope through a new life just like He did with King David. There are many faces around my table; laughter, joyfulness, and the feeling of belonging are gifts I freely give. There is a phone full of messages, calls, and pictures that remind me that I am seen, known, and loved by many. And I have been adopted into a royal family that changed my name to Chosen and provided me with an eternal inheritance. 

If you are feeling lost in your shame, or stuck in the grief of your mistakes, please pray with me: Father, thank You for not leaving me or giving up on me. Jesus, I believe in You and know You died on the cross for my sins; I accept the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that You bought for me. I choose to no longer identify with my sin but instead choose to follow You wholeheartedly. Holy Spirit, please counsel and comfort my heart and help me to see You in all the details of my life. I want my life to be a light in the darkness; all the glory is Yours, Father! Thank You for saving my life and redeeming my story. I love You. In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen!

~

Scripture is quoted from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.