Searching for Identity and Sinking into Darkness, She Found Him

Angela Sumner recalls, “I felt like I had to rely on myself for everything. I had to be in control of every situation to make sure that I was not only protected but also provided for. And I was completely exhausted.”

Angela Sumner’s need for control was rooted in her childhood.

Angela Sumner says, “My younger self was searching for that father’s love, that father’s embrace. I just wanted to be loved and to feel safe.”

Both her grandfathers died before she was born, and her father went to prison when she was young. so, Angela grew up without a positive male role model.

Angela Sumner shares, “When little girls don’t have a father or someone they can trust, they feel completely exposed to everything because there is no foundation.”

As a teenager, she went on a church trip. there she was sexually assaulted by the son of a church deacon. This experience confirmed her deepest fear. No one was going to protect her not even God.

Angela Sumner says, “I hated all men, and it pointed back to God because He is the ultimate father who’s supposed to protect us.”

So, Angela thought she had to protect herself and take control of her life.

Angela Sumner recalls, “Every time I would get drunk, or I would get high or I would have a new partner, I would feel like I was still controlling my situation, that I got to decide what I would do next. And no matter how bad it got, I was still in control.”

In college, she took a yoga class. the physical exercise evolved to spiritual practice giving her a new sense of power.

Angela Sumner shares, “Being able to contort my body and control my breath and create hallucinations with my breath and thinking that I was all powerful and creating these manifestations, it just took off from there. I didn’t want to find out what finding peace would do for me. Because I didn’t want to meet who I was when I was still. And I certainly did not want to meet God when I was still. I thought if I got still, I would feel torture, and so I never became still. I only saw God as a punisher, someone who hated my sin.”

After graduation she traveled the world, fasting, meditating and pursuing enlightenment. Angela became a leader in the occult world, building a following and earning six figures a month.

Angela Sumner says, “I was placed on this pedestal as one of the women who were all powerful. I had everything that most people want, but there was a huge gaping hole in my whole life. I was completely lacking peace.”

Then, one Halloween night, at a witches gathering Angela hosted, a Christian woman showed up and boldly started praying.

Angela Sumner recalls, “I was so mad that she prayed. Like, you’re at a witches gathering, why are you praying to God?

She told us that Jesus was the word made flesh, which to me didn’t make any sense. After that moment, I had a lot of questions. That was a major point of God getting my attention and starting to change my heart.”

Still, she wasn’t ready to trust God. Then, during the covid lockdown, Angela says, God told her to walk away from the life she built.

Angela Sumner shares, “And it was the first time I ever felt God speak to me directly. I knew it was God. And I said, ‘No. You have the wrong person. I can’t. This is my life.’ I started trembling from the inside out. I wasn’t cold. I said, ‘I’m closing my business. that was it because God told me to, even though I didn’t want to.’”

Although Angela had walked away from her business, she still wasn’t ready to surrender control of her life. She began dating a man, got pregnant, and soon afterward, he left her. Hurt once again by a man’s rejection, she turned to the

Bible and started listening to worship music as a way to cope.

Angela Sumner says, “My heart was turning away from my life that I had lived and towards Jesus Christ. I didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t wanna have the conversations that I had had before. I didn’t wanna do the things that I did before.”

Then, on New Year’s Eve 2022, Angela gave birth to her daughter. The moment she held her baby in her arms, something shifted. For the first time, she truly felt God’s love and protection. A deep, lasting peace she had been searching for her whole life.

Angela Sumner shares, “I had no fears because God was completely in control. I started to ask for forgiveness. I started to tell him all the things I had done, and He set me free. In the moment that I chose Jesus Christ, everything fell away. Knowing that I’m loved and protected and safe for the first time in my whole life is almost inexplicable. I haven’t ever felt anything like the peace of God. It truly surpasses all understanding.”

Angela turned away from her entire past and grew closer to God. Today, she says what she once sought control, power, and money is nothing compared to a life surrendered to Jesus Christ.

Angela Sumner says, “I would tell someone that feels like they have to control that it is exhausting. And it’s a burden you do not have to carry that burden. And that you were not designed to carry. You can give that burden to God. God loving me filled the hole of perfectionism, power, and control. He’s just waiting for you to turn to Him so He can give you peace, love, and joy you won’t find anywhere else in this world.”