When the Healer Needs Healing

Kimberly Haar woke to the terrifying sound of her bedroom door crashing off its hinges. Standing before her was her ex-husband, intoxicated and holding a gun.

“For the next four hours, I was assaulted,” Kimberly recalled. “And I prayed, ‘God, keep me alive, because my family is going to need me.’”

Completely out of character, her ex-husband was on a violent rampage. His plan was to kill the man Kimberly was dating, Andrew. He kidnapped her and forced her into a vehicle, driving them to Andrew’s house.

“He reached into the back seat for a gun and extra bullets,” Kimberly said. “When he got out of the vehicle, that’s when I jumped into the driver’s seat and made a getaway—but not before I heard three gunshots.”

In that moment, Kimberly believed Andrew had no chance of survival.

“I knew in my heart there was no way Andrew was going to survive this.”

Kimberly sped to the nearest store and ran inside, screaming for help.

“I ran through the front doors and screamed at the top of my lungs, ‘Call 9-1-1!’”

Police arrived within minutes and arrested her ex-husband. Kimberly was rushed to the emergency room, where doctors determined she had sustained only minor physical injuries. Andrew, however, was clinging to life.

“He had been shot ten times,” she said. “It was touch and go. They didn’t know what was going to happen.”

While Andrew fought for his life, his family gently told Kimberly they believed it was best for them to go their separate ways.

“I was totally numb,” she said. “It felt like a bad dream I was going to wake up from.”

Overwhelmed by shock, sadness, and grief, Kimberly stayed with a family member to recover and process the trauma.

“Even though I was angry at God and felt abandoned by Him, I knew I had to run to Him,” she said. “I’m running to Jesus because He is my healing. I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but I know He’s my only answer.”

She spent hours crying and praying, asking God for Andrew’s healing, for answers, and for the strength to carry on.

“I told the Lord, ‘I am so broken. I have nothing left in me. Please sing over me and breathe life back into my body. Give me life again.’ I had never felt so empty.”

For weeks, Kimberly spent time alone with God, praying honestly through her anger and confusion.

“I told Him, ‘God, I feel so abandoned. Why did this happen? Why didn’t You stop it?’”

Despite her pain, she chose to continue pursuing her faith. She played worship music and slowly began singing along, finding comfort in the words.

“It felt like God’s Word was washing over me,” she said.

After weeks of emotional turmoil, Kimberly felt a spiritual shift.

“I had anger, fear, sadness, loneliness—just a bucket of emotions,” she explained. “But through all of it, I knew Jesus was beside me.”

She made a conscious decision to trust God, regardless of the outcome.

“I prayed, ‘Lord, I’m going to choose to trust You. Even if I don’t get what I want, I’m still going to trust You.’”

Kimberly also knew that true healing required forgiveness—even forgiving her ex-husband.

“It wasn’t easy,” she said. “Sometimes I had to forgive four times in one hour. Forgiveness was never a feeling—it was a choice.”

Over time, the burden grew lighter as she chose to let go and move forward.

Six weeks after the incident, Kimberly received a text from Andrew—their first contact since the shooting.

“He said, ‘I know what happened to you, and you’re going to be messed up. I know what happened to me, and I’m going to be messed up too.’”

Despite the trauma, they chose to continue their relationship and heal together. Their journeys looked different—Kimberly’s healing was emotional, while Andrew focused on physical recovery—but both embraced forgiveness.

“Andrew never speaks negatively about my ex-husband,” Kimberly said. “He doesn’t look back.”

Within four months of the incident, Kimberly and Andrew were engaged—and soon after, they were married.

Today, Kimberly and Andrew say they are fully healed and have forgiven her ex-husband. Kimberly has since written a book encouraging forgiveness as a path to healing from grief and trauma.

“I view God as my lifeline,” she said. “He’s like a lighthouse. No matter how dark things get, all I have to do is look for Him, and He’s there.”

She encourages others facing tragedy to seek God, even when it feels difficult.

“If you don’t know where God is when something bad happens, ask Him,” she said. “He’s there—not always in the way we expect, but He shows up.”

For more information on Kimberly Haar and her Book Healing From Life's Deepest Hurts: Reclaiming Your Life After Grief, Loss, or Trauma click the LINK! 

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