Joanne Reese discovered her love for writing in the pages of her journal. Venturing beyond personal muse, Joanne was published with a local online magazine, composed several articles for her church's newsletter, and has created Bible study curriculum for home groups. She has also contributed to www.avirtuouswoman.org.
I focus back on my own grief. So what can I do with the death of a dream? Being a busy wife and mother sometimes makes me feel like my writing has been placed ten feet under. I’ve been asked to wait – ten years. But what if waiting hurts too much?
Her heals hit the pavement, creating a startling rhythm. She steps with determination making her way back to the car, and my guess back to the office. I wonder who has been ripped out of her life. How does she cope with the pain?
As she drives away, I can identify with her coping mechanisms. She goes on. She gets up every morning, and she faces another day. She trudges through the ordinary, and waits to be reunited with her sanity and her heart. All the while, she wonders if she will ever be okay again.
Waiting on God can sometimes feel unbearable. Nevertheless, like the cry of a bird perched on an evergreen in the middle of a cemetery, hope truly can rise above confusion and pain.
God dwells in the chaos of life and in the silence of death, but can only be heard when our hearts are still. Finding peace amidst the pain sometimes means facing all of the things we are terrified of. We go on, muddling through commonplace, trusting that each attempt at swiping away the darkness will carry us unharmed, to the place where real dreams are made.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
As I finish my bagel, my heart swells with a new appreciation for where this woman was coming from. I too, lived years without knowing the forgiveness of a Savior. Life without the comfort and peace of Christ is miserable, causing a person to take it out on whoever happens to be in the way.
Tables empty as I turn off my computer and gather my things. I toss my tear-soaked napkin into the nearest trash can, and face the torrent of the parking lot. This was definitely not what I had planned for my lunch today. Humiliation ends up being my lunch date, all for the sake of intercession. But submitting myself to God’s plan by praying for this dear woman, I am given the choice to trust that my own tears were collected in the most amazing little bottle.
You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle - are they not in Your book?
Psalms 56:8
You keep track of all my sorrows.* You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.
OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)
Later on that night, I thought about the messes I’ve made along my Christian walk. An old pattern of thinking leaves a trail of brokenness; a habit wreaks havoc in places that once held compassion. And then, of course, there is the dangerous relationship, where compromise regrettably becomes my idol.
Sin can look pretty desirable on the outside, promising loads of sweet tantalizing enjoyment. But at the end of the day, if I have not made my heart right with God, only a sticky residue of guilt remains. In order to repent, I must let go of what the gloppy mess promised in the first place.
It was a lie.
God is in the business of making all things clean and new. Sin is not fun. Sin separates us from God. Be careful about what you pour your thoughts and energy into. Commit to tossing that sticky mirage — and settle in on God's best.
"... let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water."
Hebrews 10:22
let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.
OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)