Lord, I Believe, Help My Unbelief

“Do you really believe that Jesus rose from the dead?” said John at the church coffee hour. This question was a bolt of lightning that electrified my mind, given that I had never met him before. I knew at once that God was speaking directly to me as a fellow struggler with doubt and faith issues to encourage John and reinforce what the Lord was revealing to me as I received answers on difficult faith issues.  

This began a yearlong anointed relationship of stimulating, challenging, and at times, stressfully nuanced conversations on such topics as: is there an afterlife, belief in a biblical heaven, does life end with brain death, and did the writers of the Bible exaggerate Jesus’ and the apostles’ accomplishments? God was having me share, however imperfectly, the wisdom, comfort, and direction that I had received from the Lord in my own “doubting Thomas” moments. 

However, these wonderful times of joint discovery ended when the Lord called me to serve the kingdom at Regent University. Two weeks before our final coffee hour meeting, John asked a question that I did not expect to hear. He said, “Gary, our conversations are really encouraging, and it would be a great help if you could write down your responses so I can reflect upon them later.” 

My first thought was, “Don’t you realize that I am in the midst of a move?” but I knew in my heart this was a “ministry of interruptions” moment to bear each other’s burdens in love, so I said yes and went to work writing late into the evening after the moving chores were complete. My wife asked the logical question, “Why are you losing sleep at this time, can’t this wait until next month?” but something in my spirit said, “This cannot wait.” Fast forward two weeks, and I sent John a 10-page single-space letter summarizing answers to the apologetic questions we discussed. 

John then called me two weeks later and left a voice mail that I will never forget. “Gary, you really came through for me, my friend, this letter is a great help.” Fast forward another two weeks, I then received a phone call from John’s sister who thanked me for helping John and sending the letter as he repeatedly said the words enhanced his faith. It was followed by the news that shook me to my core that John had passed away peacefully two days before, after cutting his parents’ grass. 

I knew instantly the reason for the urgency of writing the letter. John was being prepared for heaven, and there was no time to wait. 

The beauty of God is that He is the master efficiency expert in which all our pain, doubts, and suffering is never wasted (1 Corinthians 15:58). 

God gave me the privilege of living out 2 Corinthians 1:1-4, He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. We can encourage our fellow doubters, help their unbelief (Mark 9:24) by intellectually illuminating the nail prints, scars, and spear marks in our risen Lord and say like Thomas, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28) 

When, Lord willing, I enter paradise, I believe that John will be one of the first saints to greet me! This powerful experience reinforced the need for us all to listen to God’s promptings and share our pain. To God be the glory!

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Scripture is quoted from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.