A Song Opened Her Heart to God’s Love

“It was just a nightmare. I just felt like I was living in hell. Like a true nightmare on earth.”

Katie Hill never imagined the pain and destruction that would come into her life after her husband introduced her to alcohol and marijuana.  

Katie says, “He was five years older than me. And at that time, you know, with me being 19 years old, it was kind of a big deal then. He drank and he could become mean at times; but yes, I started smoking pot.” 

They had a son together, but their marriage fell apart. During the marriage Katie drank in moderation. After the divorce she began abusing alcohol.

“I just loved it.” I loved it because I was open. I wasn’t so closed off. I wasn't scared to have fun or speak out or dance or any of that stuff. And so that literally set off the obsession for me.”

Her obsession with alcohol gave way to harder substances, like pain pills and cocaine. “I did it and I was on a whole 'nother level of being open', you know? I was just – your just really woken up and just feel like you could do anything, you know?  But it always starts off like that, where you feel like you could do anything but that's just a delusion.”

After years of partying and drug abuse, Katie was unable to take care of her now six-year-old son. She gave up custody to her parents.

“It was awful. It was a nightmare. I mean, the guilt you get being a mother and doing that and you don't want to.  You want to be with your child more than anything. You just cannot. Like this drug has got a hold of you the way that I can't explain it. You're powerless over the drugs.”

Katie sank deeper into chaos and began using heroin with a friend. “And so I did it and I told him, ‘just a little bit’ cause I was scared to death I was going to die. I know it sounds so crazy, cause I still did it, but you really don't ever think of the consequences when you're out there doing this stuff.”

The withdrawals made her sick which only increased her desire for the drug. “It starts out feeling good but that does not last. In no time at all it becomes, ‘I gotta get well.’ It's not getting high no more. You're not feeling good no more. It's just the chase of getting well."

To pay for her drugs, Katie turned to theft. “I have done credit card fraud, like galore…prescription fraud. I mean, I would just do anything.”

Later that year, after multiple arrests, Katie faced five class “c” felonies and up to 15 years in prison. Instead of conviction, the judge offered Katie an alternative; a nine-month rehab program in Louisville, Kentucky called The Healing Place. Even with the charges dropped and a chance at a fresh start, Katie couldn’t get clean.

“My thinking was, ‘Okay, now I can get it under control better this time.’ That’s what our thinking is, but it doesn't work like that. Because once it's in you, you're just wanting back at that chase and that constant runaround obsession of chasing.”

Katie didn’t realize it at the time, but in 2016, she was pregnant by her boyfriend who would later die of an overdose. She was sleeping on the floor of a bug infested house with nothing but the clothes on her back when Katie heard a song describing God’s love for her.

“It hit me like a ton of bricks. And I called detox right then and there. And this is at night. I don't even know they would answer the phone, but I didn't care.”

This time, her experience with detox and rehab was different. “I knew that God had literally lifted a weight off of me that night. And that weight just continued to lift. And my mind just becomes clearer and stronger and I could see things clearer and for what they were and the truth in them.  And I forgave myself because I wasn't going to let that weight hold me down anymore. Just crying out to God ‘Help me! Please, help me have the strength.’"

She surrendered to God and began attending church regularly. “And I was just like, ‘This is a God thing.’ When I found out they had a single mom's group I was like, ‘Yes!’  I was doing anything I could. And I love it. I love it."

As a single mother who is five years clean, Katie is raising her children and credits her relationship with Jesus Christ.  

"This past year-and-a-half, He's just really opened my eyes. I can be a mom today, you know? I can be a daughter, a friend. I am a new person. I don't feel that hopelessness at all. It is gone. It has shedded. I've shed that off. It doesn't have to be some immaculate prayer, just have faith because God can do anything."