Rockstar Drug Persona Couldn’t Mask Deep Void

Ryan Prasad knew well the spoils of a big-time drug dealer; he also knew the stakes.

“The reality is you go to jail, or you die, and that's exactly how it goes for the dope game.”

Ryan grew up in Delta, British Columbia, the oldest of three kids. His dad was a violent alcoholic who focused his rage on Ryan’s mom and ignored his kids. As much as Ryan wanted to help, there was little he could do. 

“I felt like I should have been able to do more, but I really couldn’t. I was never enough. It just felt like I was a failure as a man. I had a lot of resentment towards my dad.”

By the time he started high school, Ryan was insecure, angry and looking for escape. Alcohol and marijuana would cure all those. Not to mention earning him the acceptance he craved.

“I just felt like I had like all this baggage inside of me and then every time I had a drink or smoked pot, it was like a temporary relief away from everything. Marijuana wasn't legal, so you were considered cool or a rebel. It seemed like I attracted a different crowd.”

After starting college in 2010, Ryan began selling weed for a little extra cash and to support his habit. It quickly became more than that. Now, he was somebody.

“I just felt power, and it just consumed me. Everything that I was learning in school, I was actually applying to my business. I was just a pretty quiet kid; I didn't have that kind of popularity. But I just became like an overnight rock star.”

For Ryan, the money and partying was just too good, so in his junior year he dropped out to sell harder drugs full-time, with the goal of creating his own empire.

“I became really self-centered; really selfish. I really wanted my independence. I wanted my own place, you know, I wanted to drive a better car. I wanted to have a girlfriend. I want it now and I want it the fastest way possible.”

After living two years as a “rock star” drug dealer, Ryan had everything he wanted and more: money, respect, and a several hundred-dollar-a-day drug habit. 
At 23 years old, he saw no way out.  

“It was just an endless cycle. All those same issues were still there. I just felt so inadequate and felt like such a failure. I hated myself. It was just really hard for me to even look at myself. I just hated what I became. I just knew what I was doing was wrong, and I knew that I needed to get out. The reality was I'm probably gonna have to stay here until I go to jail, or I die.”

So, for the next three months, Ryan did the only thing he could think of—he prayed.

‘“I believed in some sense of a higher power and God. I was really asking, ‘God, if you’re there I need you to help me out of my lifestyle, and what I’m doing because I don’t know how to get out of it or what to do.’ I was desperate.”

Then, in October of 2016, Ryan was arrested when he sold narcotics to an undercover police officer. When authorities searched his home, they also found a gun. Now in jail, Ryan faced six years in prison.

"I was kind of relieved. I wasn't even anxious or really stressed out. I was hoping it would be the answer to my prayer at the time. I was just like, ‘Okay, like finally. This is the start of a new beginning.’ That made me realize that God was actually working in this.”

Three weeks later, the court granted Ryan’s request to be released on bail to a Christian recovery house called Luke 15. There he began attending a local church and a prayer group. One night, as the leader prayed over Ryan…

“It just felt this presence came over me, around me. Complete bliss is the best way to describe it. It was just joy, peace– and I've done a lot of drugs in my life, and nothing could compare to that.”

After learning more about faith in God in the coming months, Ryan surrendered his life to Christ and was baptized.

“Everything changed for me. You know, all these fears and insecurities and problems and issues, everything just didn't matter anymore. I had a new experience and felt God in my life for the first time ever. I just remember going to sleep with a smile on my face, waking up with a smile on my face. Skipping up the stairs; hugging people.”

Later found guilty of drug possession, trafficking and possession of an illegal firearm, Ryan would serve 6 months of a 23 month sentence before being released on parole in 2018.

Today, he is working full-time for a roofing company. He also speaks out to teens about the dangers of drugs and the fulfillment he’s found in Christ.

“He's changed me. He still has a lot to teach me. Where I didn't feel I was good enough, he did give me purpose. I enjoy my life, you know, I live a happy life. It all comes down to your heart. If he could do this for me, imagine what he could do for you.”