A Firefighter’s 17-Year Battle with PTSD Ends in Redemption

“The average person sees maybe five traumatic events in a lifetime,” said firefighter Chris Moore. “We can see that in one shift.” 

“It really, it stresses you.” 

Chris said, “You can see things written all over people's faces. I felt it. It was written all over my face that I was struggling when we came back from calls.”

The only way firefighter Chris Moore knew to deal with the stress of his job was to push it down. However, the PTSD lurking at the edges of his mind took its toll. He was blind to his declining emotional state because Chris was taught at an early age not to ask for help. 

He said, “Because what I grew up with translated over into the fire service, the suck it up, buttercup, the pull up your bootstraps, you move on to the next call.” 

In 1993, Chris became a volunteer firefighter in Virginia Beach, Virginia and was hired in 2000 with the City of Chesapeake. After 24 years on the job, he thought he was handling the stress ok . . . until he came face to face with a tragedy that tipped the scales in his mind.

“It was January 9th, 2017, it was a snowy day, ice on the roads, and we had a bad call.”

Chris said, “A cardiac arrest that was not successful and it was pediatric. Which is a lot of our kryptonite dealing with children.”

“That night when I laid my head down on the pillow to try to go to sleep at the firehouse, I started having flashbacks. Not just of that call from that morning, calls that I’ve ran five, 10, 15 years earlier start that I never thought twice about were popping up in my head and I’m like, "what is going on here?" it was just, it was crazy. I thought I was losing my mind.”   

Over the weeks, he could no longer suppress his emotions. Chris began to drink excessively, cheat on his wife and spent loads of money.

He said, “I was trying to get a quick fix, a quick rush.” 

“And the flashbacks, the nightmares, they started just not just creeping into my life, they started kicking the door open and just ramming into my life.”

After more months spiraling down, Chris finally got professional help. He was diagnosed with job related PTSD and prescribed medication. The medication did nothing to the memories of past calls that haunted him.  

“The demons came into my life and were taking over, and I was, I was scared. I wanted it to stop,” said Chris. 

“And I remember it was March 15th, 2022. I was at the firehouse, and it was the very beginning of my shift. My wife reached out to me, we had a phone conversation, she had found out more stuff that I’d been doing, and she was just done. She was over it. I was over things too. I was already leading up to that contemplating how to make things stop. And the only answer that kept coming up in my head was to end my life.” 

On March 16, 2022, Chris washed down a bottle of Xanax with a bottle of rum. After a couple more beers, he laid down to die. 

Chris said, “Next thing I remember was I was waking up in the hospital, just connected to stuff.” 

A neighbor had decided to check on him. She found Chris unresponsive and called 911.

Chris’ wife and son were at his hospital bedside, concerned for the man they loved. 

He said, “I realized in that moment, a light just came on for me when I saw them there and I wasn't going to stop the pain. Ending my life was going to end my life, but it wasn't stopping any pain because the pain was on their faces. It was passing the pain on.”

Chris was discharged a week later. 

Then, on April 17th he and his family attended Easter service at Grace Bible Church.  Chris was finally ready to surrender the pain and trauma he’d been carrying by himself. 

“The Holy Spirit came over me while we were singing, standing up singing. I just, I literally broke down,” said Chris. “It was tears of joy and, I was sobbing uncontrollably and, I had to step out.” 

“I went to the bathroom, and I remember just looking at myself in the mirror and I said, "I’m ready, Jesus." And it was then when my heart was opened up to Jesus and I accepted. And I remember coming in and back into the sanctuary there and just saying to myself, it's like,

"Jesus, I accept you as my Lord and Savior, whatever your will is for me, please just forgive me a sinner."

Two months later, Chris was baptized in the Atlantic Ocean. He overcame his alcohol addiction through AA then he attended the “Save a Warrior Program” to help deal with his PTSD. Unfortunately, his marriage was too damaged to survive. 

Chris said, “I'm sorry that I did hurt as many people as I did.”

“I did everything that I felt in my heart being 100% open and honest and loving and caring. Have tried to do things the right things and be right with others.” 

In 2025 he married Kristin. 

Today Chris continues to serve as a firefighter/paramedic with the City of Chesapeake, Virginia. He leans on God to help him through the stresses of the job. He is also a mental health advocate and sought-after national speaker on PTSD.

“If you think that you just can't go on any further or you're struggling with whatever it may be, it only takes one thing to make that difference,” said Chris. 

“And like I said, God is always there with you and I just had to find Him and He's not hard to find. He was always walking alongside of me. I just had to open up my heart and make that change.”