Overcoming a Critical Spirit

Learning to Give and Receive God's Grace

Do you judge others? Is it easy for you to find fault with those around you? Then beware: Your spiritual life is in danger.

A critical attitude can hinder your walk with God and distract you from God's purposes for your life.

Why We Judge

We judge because of our own selfish interests. For example, we sometimes become critical when comparing ourselves to those around us. We try to find fault in others to prove that we are smarter, better looking, happier or wealthier. But these are selfish reasons. We simply want to feel better about ourselves. We also get critical when others fail to do what we ask, or do not do what we think is right. Often, it is a family member, friend or co-worker who fails to meet our expectations. Our expectations lead to a judgmental attitude.

Even our own frustrations can lead to a critical attitude. If life is not turning out the way we desire, we hide our own frustrations by finding fault with others.

Judge Not...

Finding fault and being critical are some of the easiest things to do. They seem to come naturally to us. But Jesus told us not to judge "lest you be judged" (Matthew 7:1CloseMatthew 7:1 "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , NASB). We should obey His command.

Jesus then explained why a judgmental attitude is so dangerous: "God will be as hard on you as you are on others! He will treat you exactly as you treat them" (v.2).

When we judge, we invite judgment upon ourselves. The Bible says that "judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy" (James 2:13CloseJames 2:13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

By judging others, we hide our own hypocrisy. For example, when the religious leaders brought a woman to Jesus who had been caught in sexual sin, they wanted to kill her. But Jesus responded, "If any of you have never sinned, then go ahead and throw the first stone at her" (John 8:7CloseJohn 8:7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ). Nobody threw one.

God alone reserves the right to judge each person (Romans 14:4CloseRomans 14:4 Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ). As the Apostle Paul said, "Dear friends, don't try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says, `I am the one to take revenge and pay them back'" (Romans 12:19CloseRomans 12:19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,"I will take revenge;  I will pay them back,"*  says the LORD. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

The Cure for Criticism

Judgment is very important. The Bible says that "God is a righteous judge" (Psalms 7:11ClosePsalms 7:11 God is an honest judge.  He is angry with the wicked every day. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , NASB). The cure for criticism is found in understanding the nature of God's judgment. The Bible says that every person is a sinner. This sin drives a wedge between God and man, and deserves judgment (Romans 3:23CloseRomans 3:23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ; 6:23).

Regardless of how "good" we think we are, "all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment" (Isaiah 64:6CloseIsaiah 64:6 We are all infected and impure with sin.  When we display our righteous deeds,  they are nothing but filthy rags.Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall,  and our sins sweep us away like the wind. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , NASB). We cannot make up for all the bad things we have done. Left alone, we still deserve God's judgment: death and eternal torment in a place the Bible describes as a "lake of burning sulfur" (Revelation 19:20CloseRevelation 19:20 And the beast was captured, and with him the false prophet who did mighty miracles on behalf of the beast—miracles that deceived all who had accepted the mark of the beast and who worshiped his statue. Both the beast and his false prophet were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

Only God could satisfy the judgment against us for our sins. So God sent His Son into the world to pay the price for our sins. Jesus Christ took our judgment on Himself and died in our place. In return, God offers to each person all His blessings -- including eternal life, forgiveness, peace, joy and hope -- provided we acknowledge Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

If we truly understood the judgment that we each deserve from God, we would be less inclined to judge others.

Giving Grace Instead

Have you learned to receive God's grace and mercy? This is the first step to overcoming a critical spirit. If you have never thanked Jesus for paying the penalty you deserve, do so now. Simply repent of your sins and turn your life over to Him (Acts 3:19CloseActs 3:19 Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ; Romans 10:9-10CloseRomans 10:9-10 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ).

If you know Jesus as your Savior, thank Him for His grace and mercy. Thank Him for forgiving you of your sins. Thank Him for giving you a second chance at life.

Now, offer grace and mercy to others, Jesus said, "Freely you received, freely give" (Matthew 10:8CloseMatthew 10:8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received! OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , NASB). Instead of judgment, extend God's love to those around you, beginning with your family, your friends and your co-workers. Often those closest to us feel the harshest effects of our judgmental attitudes.

From now on when you feel the temptation to become critical, follow Jesus' clear instruction to take a close look at your own life first (Matt. 7). Ask God to forgive you for your sins. You may even discover why you are so critical of others.

Remember, it's easy to be critical. The faults of others are often very obvious to us. During these times we need to make sure we give grace instead. Thank God for those people and ask the Lord to bless them and reveal His will to them.

It's really quite simple: God has granted you mercy. He has paid the debt for your sins. Now, the only debt you owe is to offer His love and mercy to others, for "mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13CloseJames 2:13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ; NASB).

Finally, be sure to spend time with God in prayer and study the Bible. As you read the Scriptures, ask God to help you to be patient with those around you. In time, you will change from a fault-finder to a grace-giver as you learn to live like Jesus lived.

As You Pray

If you are a fault-finder, turn to the Lord right now and ask Him to set you free. "Dear Lord Jesus, I'm so sorry for the times when I have allowed judgmental attitudes to rule me. Please forgive me. Help me to remember Your mercy toward me so that I can extend Your mercy to others. Thank You so much for loving me. In Jesus' name. Amen."

God's Word on Criticism

"Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. Try your best to let God's Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living in peace" Ephesians 4:2-3CloseEphesians 4:2-3 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) .

Scriptures for Study

John 8:7CloseJohn 8:7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) -- No one qualified to judge

Matthew 7:1-2CloseMatthew 7:1-2 "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others.* The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.* OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) -- Effects of judging

James 2:1-13CloseJames 2:1-13 My dear brothers and sisters,* how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting* dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, "You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor"—well, doesn't this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives? Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn't God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren't they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? But you dishonor the poor! Isn't it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? Aren't they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name* you bear? Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: "Love your neighbor as yourself."* But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God's laws. For the same God who said, "You must not commit adultery," also said, "You must not murder."* So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law. So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) -- Pitfalls of judging

1 Peter 2:1-3Close1 Peter 2:1-3 So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) -- Antidote for judging

Philippians 4:4-8ClosePhilippians 4:4-8 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) -- Learning to put up with others' faults

Scripture references are from the Contemporary English Version.