Hope for the Marriage That Looked Over

“…the man that I have now is the man I prayed for.”

Ana Hankins thought her husband’s drug addictions were behind them. Now, after three years of marriage, Anthony had relapsed and disappeared into the streets of Los Angeles again. “I found him in LA, a crack house. He didn't want me there; He asked me to leave, and I was like, I can't leave you here. You have to come with me” Ana explains.

Anthony decided to go home with Ana and later entered rehab where he recommitted his life to Christ. The two began going to church together, and even renewed their vows ---- they believed they had a fresh new start to their marriage. Their hopes of a blissful future, however, would soon fade. With Ana coming from Colombia, South America, and Anthony raised in Chicago, cultural differences such as how to raise their children, put stress on the marriage. But their biggest fights were about money.

In Anthony’s word, “, there was a lot of tension ---- we had our first kid and my ideas about how I was going to come and work and make money didn't pan out that way.”

Disillusionment and resentment began to set in with Ana, who was working part time while the couple faced several mounting financial burdens.

“For the most part, I felt like God wasn't answering our prayers”, says Ana. Even then, Ana was determined to make the marriage work. There were good times and the couple continued going to church, always putting on a “good face”. But those times were overshadowed by the constant fighting and tension at home. Even though Anthony gave up on his goal of starting a church and worked two jobs, it was never enough. After nine years, the couple had little hope of keeping their marriage or life together.

“Our marriage was just pretty much hanging by a thread; I began to feel like I, I, you know, that there was nothing I could really do to, to try to make her happy or to feel, fulfill that role, uh, initially it, it made me isolate. It sent me into a place of isolation”, Anthony laments.
Then in 2019 during a heated argument, Anthony made a shocking announcement --- that he was having an affair. Ana says, “I wanted to leave. I decided I wanted to leave. I felt like I shouldn't take this --- feeling betrayed, feeling the self-esteem, was not there at all.”

A few days later, a friend invited her to a faith conference. When she went, the speaker was talking about the heart, and “she had the scripture, Ezekiel 36:26, where it says, I will give you a new heart. Ana tells, “at this conference in the middle of everybody, I just drop on my knees and ask God to give him a new heart.” Then just a few months later, Anthony had something to share:

Anthony says, “there was a time I had a dream. I was laying on a hospital bed, and when, and I looked up, I could see all of the doctors like standing around, and I saw the light right over, like, they had been doing something, but I didn't know what they had done. I said, what happened? And the doctor was like, we just gave you a new heart.”

Anthony shares that this was a turning point, and the couple began to pivot to God. Ana concurs saying “this was the answer to my prayer for 17 years!” Ana forgave Anthony and says over the next few months he became the loving, and caring provider she needed, while she began showing him the love and respect, he needed. Together, the couple has endured life’s toughest battles, including a medical issue with one of their four children, and the untimely death of their oldest son. They know their love and respect for each other, prayer, and their faith in God will help them stand strong in the years to come.

If you or anyone you know is needing encouragement in their marriage relationship, in Ana’s book “Beyond Forgiveness”, she describes in greater measure the details surrounding the tumultuous years of her marriage. She also shares how God’s power showed itself strong within them. You can check it out at "Beyond Forgiveness" by Ana Hankins . Also, if you are in the Temecula, CA area, you can visit Anthony and Ana’s church, West Coast Life church here, West Coast Life Church.