A Full Pardon from Above

“I just wanted the internal, the pain inside to go away. And I wanted somebody to love me. I was just craving that attention. And craving somebody to just be like, ‘Okay, it's gonna be okay.’ But I wasn't getting that.” What Elizabeth Quiroz was getting instead, was physical abuse from her family.

It started when she was four, after her parents divorced and she went to live with her mom… it lasted for years. She recalls, “I thought it was normal growing up. That being beaten was a part of, you know, part of a relationship or part of something that a child goes through. I tried to reach out for help but I wasn’t heard. It just kind of showed me that I wasn't loved. I was unlovable.”

In addition to the abuse at home, Elizabeth was bullied and beaten up at school. So, at 10, she turned to cutting. She says, “I was so empty inside and I was angry and I was hurting, and I was finding ways to cope.” Although she went to church, she had no use for God. To Elizabeth, God was uncaring and vengeful. She thought, “If He's really here and He has your back and He loves you and He cares about you, then why is this happening at home? I couldn't understand. And I don't want to serve that type of God.”

At 14 Elizabeth decided she’d had enough and ran away to live with her dad. She says, “What I was hoping to get, being with my dad, it was love, protection. I thought I was gonna get an instant gratification and be happy but it wasn't like that. He wasn’t able to meet my needs because he was an alcoholic.”

After just a few months, the now 15-year-old, left home again. This time she dropped out of school and moved in with a 27-year-old man she had met who showered her with compliments and attention. She recalls, “I felt that he was gonna be there and take care of me. I thought it was what I needed from this man. And so, I fell head over heels for him. Like I was in love with him.”

He turned out to be a drug dealer who used Elizabeth in his drug business. He also got her hooked-on meth. She says, “I did feel like I was wanted, at some degree. But it was kind of like I was already starting to get numb. And I didn't know what I wanted because I was so lost.”

Life would only get worse. A year later the man ended up in prison on drug charges. Soon after, a woman showed up to run the man’s drug business. She also had something else in mind – force Elizabeth into prostitution. She recalls, “I didn't have any worth at all. Like every time I got in these cars with these men, I had to check out. I had to detach, I had to disassociate, so I can leave my body and go through what I was going through.”

For the next 10 years Elizabeth was living on the streets, making money any way she could, and trying to stay high. She was in and out of jail a few times yet nothing inspired her to change. She says, “I was dying inside. I was dying and I didn't feel like I was human, like I was loved.” Then, at 26, she got pregnant and had a son. However, even being a mom wasn’t enough to change her behavior.

In October of 2011 Elizabeth was arrested for selling drugs. She was sentenced to five years and lost custody of her son. She recalls, “When I lost my son, due to my last arrest, I started to wake up, I started to feel my emotions, because I was loaded all those years. And so, I started to realize that I missed my son. I have this baby that saved me, basically.”  

Sober and alone, Elizabeth knew she needed to change. She reached out to “brother Marty,” a pastor who regularly visited the inmates. She recalls, “That's my first experience with somebody just loving me like how Jesus would, you know, or how Jesus does. He was hearing me, with no judgement, with no putting me down, calling me names. He was hearing me and hearing the pain I was going through. I needed somebody to hear me at that time. Somewhere where I felt safe. I felt really safe with him.”

She started attending Bible studies and kept meeting with brother Marty. Soon Elizabeth developed a new understanding of God and started to see herself differently. She says, “I started to love myself more. Loving yourself, especially with that type of background, it takes a while. It really helped me put my guard down.” 

Elizabeth earned her GED and was released to a women’s recovery program. There she learned that the abuse and sexual trafficking was not her fault. She learned to forgive herself and others and continued growing closer to God. She recalls, “I felt this complete peace. And I felt a supernatural awakening. Like God's got so many plans for me. I started to believe it. I started having my own relationship with Him. And so, I was starting to feel, really feel Him.”

Elizabeth surrendered her life to God and in 2015 she was baptized. Then, in 2018 after two years of fighting, she received a governor’s pardon for her past convictions. She says, “So that's true redemption. I felt I was being given a second chance. Everything from my past was being erased, completely. And so, it was a miracle for that to happen for me.”

Today, Elizabeth is happily married, earned a bachelor’s degree, and has regained full custody of her son. She runs a safe house for trafficking victims and has found the love she always wanted. She says, “I know God loves me unconditionally. Like totally I know He loves me. He shows me all the time. And for a long time, I worked with my mentors around letting go of condemnation. Because I would feel so much condemnation. But that was because of my past. I do feel protection, I do feel safe, because I know at the end of the day that He's gonna make sure everything works out.”