Finding Significance in His Heavenly Father

"When I turned over, he’s standing there. He’s got a knife in his hand. And he said, 'Man, they want me to kill you.’”

Patrick Seymour knew it was only a matter of time before the gang decided to take him out. After all, he’d been a part of that culture since he was twelve years old. However, that wasn’t how he was raised. The only son of a single mother, Patrick spent his early years in Mississippi, attending the church his great-grandfather founded and helped build.

"I viewed God as a God who has standards. It put me at odds with Him because I’m like, ‘You have these expectations for my life, but it didn’t speak to my hurt.’”

That hurt stemmed from the absence of Patrick’s father. “In my mind it was, ‘Well, I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough for my father to be here; I’m not good enough to be a Christian, I’m just not good enough, you know.?' I’m different. There’s no one here who has my last name. The only thing I knew was that I was born in L.A."

So, when Patrick was ten and his mom moved them from Mississippi back to L.A., he was hopeful. “Now I get to go and actually figure out who I am. So, I looked for a place where I could be good enough.”

For Patrick, the answer seemed to be the infamous gang, the Crips. "People fear them; people respect them, but they also give them their space. And I’m like, ‘That’s what I want.’ I figured out what gang members look for in potential gang members and I just began to practice that in order for me to gain this community and camaraderie that I’m looking for, this is what I have to do.”

Soon, Patrick developed a tough gang banger exterior with a reputation for fighting. “My older homies knew me for that. And they equated that as to not having any fear.”

At sixteen, a larceny spree led to his first arrest. Since he was affiliated with a gang and carrying a gun, Patrick was tried as an adult and sentenced to twenty years in prison. “I was scared out of my mind. This is serious. I can’t just continue to be this great imposter. I’m going to have to really start living this life now.”

Patrick was transferred to California state prison. Then, seven years into his sentence, he was moved to a state prison in Arizona and sent to a drug program for inmates. Patrick had no desire to be there.

“I’m still doing drugs, selling drugs, making knives. I’m doing everything that’s against this program. I ended up going to the hole, getting kicked out of the program.”

However, the staff there saw something in him and wanted him back. Alone in solitary confinement, Patrick decided to challenge God. "'God, if you want me back in the program, you get me back in.' I was saying, ‘Hey, if you’re real, then do this.’”

Two weeks later, the program’s staff invited him back

“And I hear this voice say, ‘Remember what you told me.’ And I’m like, 'Naw, this can’t be. This can’t be God.' Before then, I just saw God as being a God in the sky. I didn’t see him as being personal. Something is going on. I don’t know what it is. I said, ‘I think I need to go to church now.’”

Patrick started attending chapel the next week.

"The pastor gives this great sermon on David and like God is saying, ‘Hey, I know you’ve done these things, but I’ve forgiven you. I’ve already paid the cost for that. You don’t have to run. You don’t have to be an imposter; you don’t have to be their guy anymore.' God was literally like, 'Son, you are accepted. What you need and what you ran to get, it’s only in Me that you’re going to find that. So, let’s leave that and then I’m going to show you who you’re going to become.' I felt convicted and in the same sense I felt a weight being lifted. So, I’m like, ‘God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I went this far with being this person, with this life.’ That was that freedom of like, 'Oh, I – okay, I got the answer now. And I’m accepting that answer now.'”

Patrick told his cellmate he was quitting the gang to live for Jesus. Word spread quickly, and Patrick was in his bunk sleeping one night when he felt his cellmate standing over him.

"Tears coming down his face and a knife in his hand. He said, ‘Man, they want me to kill you.’ And in my mind, I’m hearing God say, ‘Son, take no thought of your life.’ So, I tell him, 'Listen, you do what you have to do, okay? Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to pray for you because I’m in Christ, I’m saved. Whatever decision you make, my end is already determined and it’s a good end. I’m confident in that now. However, your end is still being determined. So, I’m going to pray for you, man. And I’m going to go back to sleep.' And that’s what I did.”

His cellmate asked for a transfer the next morning. Patrick witnessed to many of his former gang members—and met his future wife--before being released from prison in 2017. Today, he’s a respected pastor, entrepreneur and a loving husband and father. Patrick says God has given him identity in a way gang life never could.

“Even when people was giving me praises and accolades, I didn’t believe that I was significant. And I’ve always been significant to my Father. The evidence that He showed me is, ‘Son, there’s only one you. You’re wonderfully and fearfully made. So, greatness is in you. It’s literally woven into your DNA.' God was the answer the whole time.”