5 Lies Society Tells Women
A SEISMIC SHIFT
“Since 2015 we in the Christian church have experienced a seismic shift in what it means to be a Christian,” shares Rosaria. For example, boys think they are girls, girls think they are boys, and many churches are facing abuse scandals. However, the gospel hasn’t changed, and God hasn’t changed. As Christians it is important that we discern how these changes impact our lives. Rosaria shares, “Christians need to know that we must speak boldly to our world. We need to live boldly for Christ. We need to do this now. Heaven has no regrets, and neither do Christians.” Some ways Christians can stand up for their faith in a hostile world:
· Know what is going on with your local school board, whether you have kids in public school or not. Get involved.
· Spend more time with your church family so you can learn how to prepare to share the gospel with a hostile world instead of trying to make the gospel less offensive.
· Be prepared to suffer for the truth of the gospel.
FIVE LIES CONFRONTED
Rosaria shares, “We are of no good to God or our loved ones if we believe the lies the culture feeds us about what it means to be a man or a woman.” The only way to help loved ones who are lost in same sex relationships and transgender confusion is to stay connected but not join them in their indoctrination. The five lies below go against God’s plan and purpose when He created men and women.
· Lie #1: Homosexuality is normal. “Some professing Christians believe that homosexual orientation is fixed, immutable (unchangeable) and part of God’s creational and eternal plan. Some people believe that homosexuality is embedded in a person’s identity,” shares Rosaria. For example, gay Christians believe you can’t repent of who you are, how you feel, or even what you desire.
· Lie #2: Being a spiritual person is kinder than being a biblical Christian. This religion elevates being a “good” person over giving your life to Christ. This lie does not believe in rules or distinctions.
· Lie #3: Feminism is good for the world and the church. In the church, feminism is alive and well. Rosaria, says, “Some professing Christian feminists believe that Adam’s headship is a consequence of the fall, and thus a sin. They claim that there is no biblical warrant for a married woman’s submission to her husband and elders or for elders and pastors to be qualified men.”
· Lie #4: Transgenderism is normal. People who believe in “gender fluidity” hold the belief that there are more than two biological sexes and even more genders.
· Lie #5: Modesty is an outdated burden that serves male dominance and holds women back. People who believe this lie reject modesty because they find it oppressive for women. “In the contemporary church climate, modesty has been replaced by exhibitionism,” reveals Rosaria.
If you have believed these lies it is important to confront them with repentance and biblical truth. Rosaria admits, “I believed all of these lies as an unbeliever, but I continued to believe some of them for years into my Christian life.” For example, for years she used and defended “preferred pronouns” because she felt it would help in trying to bring the gospel to these people. She now believes using “preferred” pronouns is sinful. “Not only is it lying to people who are already lied to by the world, but it also falsifies the gospel imperative of the creation ordinance, with its eternal binary of being created in the image of God as male or female and the command to live out that image-bearing within God-assigned sexual roles,” shares Rosaria.
ROSARIA’S STORY
Rosaria did not grow up in a Christian home. In her late twenties, allured by feminist philosophy and LGBTQ+ advocacy, she adopted a lesbian identity. “Feminism was my worldview and religion. I did not just find women sexually attractive; I found the whole worldview of queer theory and feminism inspiring, meaningful, and life giving. I believed in a world where distinctions and hierarchies of any kind must be eliminated so that the sacred and divine nature of people could be finally realized.”
After she earned her PhD from Ohio State University, she was a professor in the English department and women's studies program at Syracuse University from 1992 to 2002, receiving tenure in 1999. Her primary academic field was critical theory, specializing in queer theory. Her historical focus was 19th-century literature, informed by Freud, Marx, and Darwin. She advised the LGBTQ+ student group, wrote Syracuse University’s policy for same-sex couples, and actively lobbied for LGBTQ+ aims alongside her lesbian partner.
In 1997, while Rosaria was researching the Religious Right “and their politics of hatred against people like me,” she wrote an article against the Promise Keepers. A response to that article triggered a meeting with Ken Smith, a Reformed Presbyterian pastor who became a resource on the Religious Right, a confidant, and a friend. He and his wife, Floy, invited her to dinner. For two years, she went to their house every week for dinner, before she ever stepped foot in church.
In 1999, she finally began attending church and heard Psalm 113: “Praise Jehovah, praise the Lord! Ye his servants praise accord; Blessed be Jehovah’s name evermore His praise proclaim." The scripture became a turning point for her. She realized how short she had fallen from God’s will and began to see the logic in God’s love and God’s order. Soon after, she converted to Christianity and broke up with her lesbian partner.
Her affections began to change as she began growing in her relationship with the Lord. She wanted to become a godly woman, wife, and mother. She met Kent Butterfield, a pastor, and they married on May 19, 2001. They moved from a church plant in Virginia to a small Reformed Presbyterian church in North Carolina. As a pastor’s wife she made a difficult decision to give up her professional life. “Unable to bear children of our own, the Lord allowed us to adopt four, including two out of foster care at the age of seventeen that we adopted five years apart,” shares Rosaria. She stays busy homeschooling her younger children and teaching at a Christian homeschool co-op.
ACCEPTANCE VS. APPROVAL
When Rosaria was a lesbian, Ken and Floy accepted her, but that did not mean they gave their approval for her lifestyle. “Acceptance means dealing protectively and gently with the person who is lost,” shares Rosaria. Ken and Floy showed acceptance to Rosaria by listening, caring for, praying, and sharing God’s word with her. Some ways you can show acceptance to your prodigal without approving of their choices include:
• Point your adult children to the gospel so they can avoid God’s punishment. Do not think that just because your prodigal is an adult, you are no longer parenting.
• If your prodigal believes he or she is nonbinary or a different sex from that which God made them to be, you can ask them to define the new vocabulary words, but do not feel compelled to use them.
• Know biblical doctrine as a filter to the words your prodigal has embraced.
• Have a systemic theology game plan. Rosaria uses Westminster Shorter Catechism.
• Find a Bible believing church.
• Pray for the conversion of your loved one.
• Repent of feeling responsible for your child’s sin.
• Do not tell your prodigal lies or buy into their false theology.
Discover more about Rosaria Butterfield, including her book, Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age, at her website: RosariaButterfield.com.
