The Greatest Test of Forgiveness: Murder

“They put the gun to my mom's head first, and they said, "If you don't give us the drugs and the money, we're going to kill your wife." He pushed one of them, they turned around, and they shot my father. My dad died instantly at that moment,” said Patti Romereo. Her father did whatever he could to provide for his family of eight, including selling drugs. When she was 15, he was beaten and murdered by a group of young men.  She continues, “I remember running and hugging my sister, and just crying and crying and crying uncontrollably, and not understanding why did our dad have to leave.”

Her father’s killer, Audi, a 17-year-old, was arrested and sentenced to prison. Patti was filled with anger towards the young man for taking her dad and ruining her life.
Patti recalls, “I think all of my brothers and sisters were really angry, because we were like, "Now we're going to be stuck with our mom." And our mom was abusive to us when we were little, and growing up. And my dad didn't know it because he was always going out of town. And so, I thought love was abuse, so I stayed in an abusive relationship after my dad was murdered, thinking that that was love. Then I was a single mother at 16. At 18, you know, I had already dropped out of high school, I ended up becoming a stripper. I just got lost in the drugs, in the alcohol. And I don't think I ever really dealt with my father's trauma, what I had went through, because I was in survival mode.”

Deeply wounded and lacking any hope, Patty responded to a fellow stripper’s invitation to go to church. “My experience at church was definitely shocking, because everybody around me was happy and joyful and just clapping. But I didn't feel that. I felt confusion. I felt like this has to be fake. This can't be real, because all around me, I grew up with nothing but dysfunction, nothing but hurt, nothing but pain .”

Her friend then showed Patti a video that mirrored her own life. “In the video, it showed a girl that was dancing and partying and drinking. And she died that day, and she went to hell. And it really spoke to me, because I was like, "Wow, that's my life. If I die, I'm going to hell." So, you know, the Bible does say that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And I feel like that day, God really showed me, like, "This is real. You need to make a decision."

Patti continues, “I started to really have a desire to know God, to read His Word, to stay in His presence, to put Him first. He just started to take people out of my life and started putting the right people in my path, the right friends.”
As she grew in her faith, Patti began to work through her past pain, writing a letter she one day hoped to give to Audi, her father’s killer. After more than 20 years, he was released from prison.

“I knew Deep inside, I had to forgive everybody that ever hurt me, said Patti. “But it wasn't until my sister found Adi on Facebook and said, "Hey, the guy that killed our father is out." I remember that day, just crying out to God and just saying, "Lord, I don't want to hold any of this, anything that's in my heart against this man." God was like, "When you talk to him, you need to show him grace. You need to show him mercy. You need to show him compassion. You need to show him that you don't just forgive him with your mouth, but with your heart." I said, "God, I need you to help me." I spent hours just there crying in the presence of the Lord.”

Patti desired to show that she had truly forgiven Audi and asked to meet him in person. Still remorseful for his actions, he silently listened as she read her letter to him.

“When I saw him face to face, I had nothing but grace and compassion towards him because I realized that we kind of had the same story. He was brought up in a home where his father beat him, and his father instilled murder inside of him. He was dealing with the same anger that I had been dealing with all of my life through my abuse. So, it made me have compassion on him.”

At the end of their meeting, she gave Audi the letter.

“It's made me realize that we truly can do all things through Christ, who gives us the power and who gives us the strength, because I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would see this man face to face. It's also shown me that my pain really did have purpose, that God was with me then, and He's with me now.”
Forgiveness given and received has set Patti free from the wounds of her past. 
Patti concludes, “It's important to forgive, and not just forgive, but to go the extra mile and to show the people that hurt you that, "Hey, I really do forgive you, and I love you in the love of Christ through the power of God."