Addict’s Sobriety Came via Trusted Friend

“I was hopeless. I was like, is this really what my life is gonna be like? Am I really a drug addict?” said Rebecca Reeves. Growing up she loved going to church and watching her daddy play guitar in the band. Outside of church she sought out a different crowd. In 8th grade she started smoking marijuana and became pregnant at age 16.

“Being in church wasn’t, I wasn't really seeking after the right things and learning what not to do in life," said Rebecca. “So I, you know, started having sex young and that led me to get pregnant.” She continued, “I just felt less than everybody, you know what I mean? Like, I, I feel like I let everybody down…I let go of all my good high school friends, I mean, I was 16 and pregnant, everybody else was living their life and, and doing this and doing that. And I had a baby to raise, like, I had to be completely separated from all of that.”

She married the father of her child, but their relationship was plagued with turmoil and emotional abuse. Heavy drug use became a means of escape. Rebecca remembered, “It was just marijuana and alcohol at first, and then started doing cocaine when my son was really young, and then cocaine wasn't good enough, so I started doing pain pills. I loved the feeling because it was filling something that was, it was feeling something in my life that I guess I've been searching for, you know, like a, a good feeling and not a mean feeling or a, you know, a unworthy feeling. I felt good about myself. It didn't, no matter what was going around me, it didn't matter as long as I was high, I was good. And that's what pain pills did for me.”

When pain pills weren't enough, she turned to meth and started losing herself in hopelessness. “That's when the suicidal thoughts started coming. Because the comedowns on meth was ridiculous. It got to the point where I was so just miserable. I was hopeless. I was like, is this really what my life is gonna be? And it got to the point where I just, I couldn't take it anymore, and I didn't know how to get out of it. So suicide was the thoughts. There were so many suicidal thoughts running through my head. I used to sit in my basement with a gun in my head, just contemplating like, if this is gonna be my life, I don't wanna live it anymore.” 
    
Her marriage fell apart as she was stuck in her mental and emotional prison. Then a friend invited her to church. “I already felt like wanted, you know, accepted,” said Rebecca. “I'm not the only one that's living like this. Like everybody, I looked around and people had tattoos, it was normal people. And so I walked in and I was like, it just felt something wonderful when I walked through the door and I'm like, hmm, you know, I feel, I feel different.”

She continued, “I'd hear the word of God. I'd love what I heard. I felt something changing inside of me, but outside the four walls of church, I'd go back to my same situation and do drugs again. And it's like, every time I do that, it got worse. You know? I got set free for a little while, for a day, and I go right back to it. I get set free and go right back to it. And I was finally sick and tired of being tired. I was sick and tired of saying, 'God, help me.' You know, I was sick and tired of having those 911 calls, 'Lord, I need You to get me outta this. If You get me outta this, I'll never do this again.' I was tired of hearing myself say that. Like when, when is it gonna be done? When is the...when is it gonna stop? When is it gonna be over? Like, when am I really gonna see what else is outside of this life that I've been living for so many years? I was being tormented ridiculously. I picked up the phone, I said, 'Pastor Dave, you gotta come get me now or I'm gonna die. Like, I'm thinking about killing myself or I'm about to overdose. One or the two is about to happen. I feel it. And I know, and I don't want that to happen.'"

Her pastor took her to his parents’ home where Rebecca experienced love like never before. Rebecca remembered, “When I was in the arms of somebody else that believed in me, that had something different besides drugs to give me, had Jesus to give me, had love to give me in a Jesus way, you know, like, it, it just completely transformed me right there. You know, like, I just felt so different. I didn't want drugs anymore. I didn't desire drugs anymore. I was out of the mess that I was in, I was out of the house. I was out of the relationship. I was out of all that, that was keeping me so bound, you know to that life. And I just felt freedom. I felt complete freedom.”

Rebecca then went to a Christian rehab program where she truly encountered God. “I felt the presence of God was so strong the Lord said that you're free. You never have to go back to the things of old. And I just started crying because I almost heard Him. You know what I mean? Like, I felt in my spirit that I knew that He was right there,” said Rebecca. “You know and I surrendered to the Lord. I was like, 'Okay, Lord, I'll do whatever I have to do to continue this walk with You. I know You're alive. I know You've brought me here for a reason.”

Rebecca's new faith in Jesus gave her freedom from addiction and a new purpose in life. “Jesus is my savior. Jesus is the, the person that I turned to. He completely pulled me out of the, of the pits of Hell and saved my life. And gave me a life,” said Rebecca. She continued, “My job now as a Christian, as a believer, as a follower, Jesus Christ is to love on the person, just the person that looked just like me back in the day, because the Lord sent somebody to love on me. And it's my turn to give that back. And the Lord has me ministering every single day, every day, every day saying, it's okay. Don't give up, God's with you. You know, like all you have to do is...is take a step of faith. You gotta start believing, you know, listen to the words that I speak to you, because there's nothing but truth that's coming outta my mouth now because I know Jesus. I have that personal relationship with Jesus.”

She smiled peacefully, “I am a living sacrifice for Him. I will worship the Lord and praise the Lord till my last breath. I, I owe that to Him. He saved my life. I owe my life to Him.”