Marilyn
Nutter

Bio Marilyn Nutter is a contributor to compilations, online sites, and print publications. Her book Destination Hope: A Travel Companion When Life Falls Apart, written with April White, was released on September 28, 2021. She is a facilitator for grief groups, a speaker, and Bible study leader. In her life’s seasons, she clings to . For hopeful living in ordinary and challenging days, visit her site and blog at MarilynNutter.com.

More from Marilyn Nutter

More from Marilyn Nutter

When Your Friend is Grieving During the Holiday Season

A Change in Itinerary: Hope for the Journey

When April was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder, her life turned upside down. She took early medical retirement and her family’s financial security abruptly changed. They relocated and changed schools and churches. The unwanted changes were discouraging as family members adjusted in individual ways.

Marilyn woke up one morning married, but by the day’s end, she took on the new status of “widow”. Her unfamiliar path held heavy grief. A clouded brain made navigating new responsibilities and pressing solo decisions difficult. Drinking morning coffee alone now after having the company of her husband for 42 years, compounded loneliness.

April and Marilyn are not alone in life plans going off course. Perhaps you’ve had a front-row seat to altered plans. Life isn’t going as you thought; dreams are shattered.

At one time or another, we walk an unexpected itinerary. Covid-19 proved that to us. Sometimes our changed plans are inconvenient, and we adapt. We move forward and learn contentment in our Plan B.

At other times, life alterations are permanent. We adjust, or we don’t.

What makes the difference between living in disappointment and defeat versus living in and with hope?

When we live in a circumstance and travel an unexpected path we didn’t seek or want, we need to regain our footing and change our focus to move forward. It’s not easy to do when our eyes are filled with tears or we are distracted by thoughts of what could have been. But if we want to thrive, not merely survive, we need to live intentionally with hope. How can we do that?

Detours, roadblocks, and changes in our life itinerary may be unplanned and disappointing, but we don’t have to be stuck, looking in the rearview mirror. Instead, we can change our focus to God’s perspective.

We can rely on His wisdom, grace, and power to move forward. We may find something different, or more, than what we missed or what we lost. When we trust God, we can live in and with the power of hope.

Devotion adapted from Destination Hope: A Travel Companion When Life Falls Apart,  2021, Ambassador International Publisher, used with permission.

Unexpected Company

Forty years later, I can still hear my daughter singing about a “wee little man.”  Complete with motions, climbing up a sycamore tree, and Jesus looking up to see him, she knew the story by heart.

OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) tells us Zacchaeus, a tax collector, was a short-statured man determined to see Jesus. Can’t you see him, weaving through rows of people, trying to get a glimpse of the famous teacher? Frustrated and unsuccessful, he chose another route. The man had spunk. He climbed a tree and disregarded the potential of splinters from rough branches, bird droppings, and pieces of bark clinging to his robe. Curiosity and tenacity ruled.

Then it happened. Jesus stopped. He noticed Zacchaeus.

“When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, ‘Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.’”  ( NIV).

Jesus even called him by name and said he must go to his house. Could it be? Unexpected company and life-changing results were in store for Zacchaeus, who was regarded by the crowd, and Jesus, as a sinner.

Every morning we have that same invitation. Jesus says, 'I’m coming to your house today.' Perhaps we meet Jesus reading online devotions, or our personal quiet time with our Bible, and in prayer. Though we may be Christians, we are sinners, saved by His grace. Jesus never stops seeking our attention. He wants to come. He delights in our company.

Are we delighted or in a hurry? Jesus said, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” Not “I’d like to,” but He must come. He knows what He has for us:

  • The One with perfect wisdom desires to offer insight into our decisions. Do you want to miss out on hearing Him say, 'I have a word for you about managing that relationship, difficult co-worker, finances, ...'?
  • The One who has purposes in mind for us offers to reveal His plans for our day. He’s just waiting to hear from you as if He is saying, 'Pray and ask me for wisdom and direction. I have a storehouse. Listen for my voice.'
  • The One who loves us with unfailing love wants to comfort us in disappointments and heartache. 'I know you’re hurting but feel my comfort and love.'

We don’t need to climb a tree and get splinters. While we’re still dressed in pajamas with a coffee cup in hand, Jesus wants to come to our house and meet us at the start of our day. tells us Zacchaeus’ response was to welcome Him gladly. Zacchaeus looked and it was life-changing. Are you willing to do the same and take the time to listen? 

Copyright © February 2020 Marilyn Nutter, used with permission.

When Anxiety Is Great

Intermittent sobs echoed in the hospital waiting room. Silent prayers were interrupted by ringtones from calls and texts offering encouragement or requesting an update. Within an hour, the somber faces of three physicians revealed the news before they spoke the words that no one wants to hear, “We did all we could.” My daughter’s legs shook, and her husband caught her before she fell to the floor. Shock and anxiety erupted in all of us.

Once our family regained composure, we shared the news about my husband with anxious friends and relatives. Emails, texts, and social media posts multiplied. A friend sent a verse that stood out,

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy” ( OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) NIV).

The death of a loved one brings anxiety and grief. If death comes unexpectedly, survivors are numb. We shed tears and can’t think straight. Unfamiliar and important decisions need to be made quickly, and we have questions with few answers. And the empty space once occupied by a loved one, looms large. There is no fix or repair for a loss. We desperately need the consolation that my friend’s verse spoke of.

What consolation is needed and welcomed by a grieving family? Human touch, a hug, words expressing memories of how important that person was, and the comfort of prayer are meaningful and comforting. Yet God’s consolation moves to another dimension—assurance of His constant presence, generous grace for pain, and strength to face and process the unthinkable. 

Shock and grief leave us feeling lost and alone, but the words in (NIV) remind us of needed truth in loss,

“... He will never forsake his inheritance.”

In irreversible bad news, we cling to His stable presence. God never leaves. When we are about to fall apart, the psalmist identifies with us in verse 18 (NIV),

“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, LORD, supported me.”

That kind of consolation was real.

But my friend’s verse also spoke of joy. Joy? Where is joy in grief and loss? Is it possible? This kind of joy didn’t look like smiles, laughter, and happiness that evening in the waiting room, on the drive home, and in the days that followed.

The joy of consolation came in other forms. As we relived and retold the sudden scenario, I knew the certainty of God’s presence and love and hung onto His inexhaustible grace. I claimed His promise,

“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” ( NIV).

His grace gave me strength I didn’t have, to wake up each morning and face the day.

If you are grieving, seek God’s consolation to fill your empty spaces with His presence and soothe your hurt through the assurance of His unfailing love. He is aware of our tears and reaches out with tender mercies.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” ( NLT).

In weeks ahead, when my cares, tears, and anxious thoughts multiplied and a new normal I didn’t choose set in, God’s consolation and joy as the stable rock of my refuge, excelled.

“But the LORD has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.” ( NIV)

He keeps His promises.

Copyright © July 2020 Marilyn Nutter, used with permission.

Overcome the Aloneness of Social Distancing

The quiet in my house is loud. Emails, phone, and social media connect me to the world, but waving to neighbors and brief conversations with my grocery-delivering daughter are often my only face-to-face contact. 

Even if we’re not sick in a pandemic, we still lose something precious: time spent with people we love. As one in the vulnerable category, I am staying home. For me, this means no hugs from grandchildren, no visits with friends, and no family around my dining room table for Sunday meals. Bible study moved from a circle of women to Zoom meetings on a screen. Church became online worship. 

Instead of pouting, I determined to make the most of my days. I remembered the prayer of King Jehoshaphat from my Bible study. Faced with the prospect of a great army coming against him, in the assembly of all to hear, he cried out, 

“O our God … We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” ( OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ESV)

No army is coming against me, but my life’s been altered significantly. I could easily get discouraged by loneliness, news reports, and confinement. Each morning, Jehoshaphat’s prayer has become mine, “I don’t know what You want me to do, Lord, but my eyes are on You to show me.”

The answer came, not in an audible voice, but looking at stacked boxes in a closet. 

“There are projects you never had time for: going through photos, making photo books, and sorting memorabilia. Now you have time.” I completed those projects. Although the organization and clutter removal pleased me, the real blessing came in recognizing and remembering God’s faithfulness in my life. Those pictures reveal the legacy of immigrant grandparents, friendships through the years, houses we lived in, job changes, and the birth of children who grew up to love the Lord. 

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. ( ESV)

At one point, I lamented: Days are long. I’m not doing very much.

The impression was clear, “You may be socially distant from others, but not from Me. Use this time to grow.” With my coffee, Bible, devotionals, and journal, my quiet time had no limit. Familiar Bible passages had new application. Scripture now popped from the page. 

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1 NIV

Another day: I have nowhere to go. 

I looked at my empty calendar and began to evaluate how to fill in spaces when shelter at home orders are lifted. How much do I do out of obligation? Where should I invest my time? I thought about differences between necessary or desirable. 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 NIV

A better day: I can do two things at the same time.

It is possible to shelter in place and reach out at a distance. I know two grieving families; others are alone and lonely. Prayer, calls, cards, and texts are a ministry. I delivered wrapped treats to my neighbors and supported a young couple having a backyard wedding by waving to them in a drive-by. 

Therefore encourage one another… 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV

In years to come, we will share memories of this unique time in history when we lived through a pandemic. Hopefully, we will talk about the paradox of growing while there was no place to go, remembering God’s faithfulness in places and people, going deeper while staying in place, and reaching out to others though still at home. And above all, we can remember Jehoshaphat’s prayer is relevant in all seasons.

Copyright © May 2020 Marilyn Nutter, used with permission.

Choose the Right Keys

He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) (NIV) 

With a new season making an appearance, I wanted to take inventory of lawn chairs and garden supplies. I fumbled with the lock on my shed, using a key I thought would work. Not so. I tried a second key. The lock didn’t open. I walked back to the house to look. Ten minutes later, I found a key on a ring marked “shed”. 

Using the wrong key to unlock the shed provided more than frustration, wasted time, and exercise walking back to the house. It reminded me of the times I used wrong keys in life experiences.

In decision making, we often choose knowledge instead of the key of wisdom. We think we have all the facts—and we might--but reason and facts may not lead us to a wise decision. Wisdom asks, “How does that knowledge apply to me and what God wants me to do? (NLT) extends an invitation,

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”

Sometimes we choose the keys of anxiety and impatience. We may work with a difficult person, wonder how to pay an unusual medical bill, or get held up in heavy traffic. The apostle Paul cautions us,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).

The key of prayer leads to unlocking peace.

Or perhaps our vision for a project, a job, or a relationship didn’t turn out as we expected. We clutch the key of disappointment in our hand, even though it won’t change the situation. It’s time to walk back to the house and look for the key of contentment. Scripture points out the apostle Paul’s resolution in struggles,

“… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ( NIV)

Think about the keys you’ve tried to use, only to be met with a lock that won’t budge. There’s more waiting for us when we choose the right keys. Isaiah said knowing the fear of the Lord is the key that leads to a sure foundation, and the apostle Paul adds another outcome,

“a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.” ( NLT)

Stable foundation, security, peace, true life. Let’s find and use the right keys.

Copyright © Marilyn Nutter, used with permission.

How Will We Count Our Days?

“Where did time go? It seems as if my grandchildren started school yesterday, and now in the blink of an eye, they are in high school.”

Over a long-distance phone call, Jane and I reminisced about her grandsons’ toddler days in childcare while we attended Bible study. “They’ve grown up too fast. Lucas is a junior camp counselor and Shawn has a summer job now. Before we know it, they’ll be off to college.”

Our conversation moved to a friend’s retirement. “They may spend half a year in Florida,” she said. “They don’t have definite plans.”

“I’m sad to see people move,” I responded. “My neighbors, who have joined us for backyard picnics for 10 years, moved to another state last week to accept a new job. Ten years of local friendship wasn’t enough.” Our conversation drifted to other news, but life changes and time passing stayed on my mind.

Last summer, our family reunion ended when we felt as if it just started. One afternoon, as I turned pages in scrapbooks and photo albums, I noted some friends and family have gone to heaven. My children’s playmates have grown up and I get birth announcements of their children in the mail. And yes, a few adults have involuntarily changed hair color. We flip our calendar pages and wonder how the months and years have passed so quickly.

Time, and changes that accompany it, are inevitable. The high school graduate makes a career or college decision, a person wonders how to use retirement years, another considers relocation in response to a job offer, and the baby we held in our arms is a young woman about to marry. In life seasons, as OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) (NIV) reminds us,

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

What do we do about our time? The Psalmist reminds us to pray to measure our time, not in hours or via a calendar, but according to wisdom.

“So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (NIV)

Our days will pass, and we move from one life stage to the next. Time is a gift. Will we use our days wisely?

In life choices let’s look for direction from God’s Word, pray for insight, seek wise counsel from godly friends, and wait to make thoughtful, not impulsive decisions. How will we most honor God as we seek to number our days and seasons with wisdom? 

Copyright © 2018 Marilyn Nutter, used with permission.