J.A. Marx is a freelance editor, writing mentor, and multi-published author. She writes from Texas where she enjoys spending time with her children and grandchildren. Over two decades in Christian ministry, church leadership, and mentoring has given J.A. a desire to see people come into freedom in Jesus Christ. As a digital missionary, her motto is Equipping the saints one book at a time. Connect with J.A.
During this harsh season of transition and shaking, it's easy to turn cynical.
"Cynic: a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested [unbiased] points of view. Attitude." - Dictionary.com
A word search for "cynic" in Biblehub.com led me to only one verse, where Jacob/Israel had turned cynical during the many years he believed Joseph was dead.
"[Jacob's sons] informed their father, 'Joseph is still alive! As a matter of fact, he's ruling the entire land of Egypt.' But Jacob didn't believe them, because he had become cynical [his heart had become numb]" (Genesis 45:26 ISV).
If you lost the son of your dreams, born from the wife of your dreams who also died ... that might numb your heart too, And think of Joseph's two "unfulfilled" prophetic dreams that his father had once pondered in his heart (Genesis 37:5-11). I fully understand his cynicism.
Oh, the joys of those who do not... join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do. (Psalms 1:1-3 NLT) emphasis added.
Never wither? How can I know for sure if I'm following God's ways, as one who meditates on His Word? Here's my litmus test: Am I bearing fruit in every season of life and prosperous? Or am I dry and fainting—like Jacob?
So, let's talk about us today; I'll go first. A while back, as I was meditating on God's Word daily, as usual, and praying (in both mind and Spirit), as usual, yet I suddenly became aware that I wasn't bearing fruit in some areas, and I felt "dry and fainting." Where was the chink in my armor? At what point had my godly meditation changed course? My deep passion is to stay true to God's word and follow His ways, so I asked for Holy Spirit's insight.
The Spirit whispered one word: cynical. (O the sweetness of godly conviction!) He then explained that "Cynicism comes from repeated wounding, from hope deferred, trust broken, doused optimism, and shaken beliefs."
Which of those five descriptions strike home for you?
During that dreadful, grievous season when Joseph was missing from Jacob's life (over 13 years?), God was working behind the scenes. He was training up and positioning Joseph to save all of Israel, as well as restore the son to the father. The reader sees this, but Jacob did not. God saw both.
God still sees both.
He sees what's happening to you, to America and the world, right now, and He sees intimately what's going on behind the scenes where He's vastly at work, flipping the tables on the enemy's schemes. And we are about to see all His work manifest! ... unless the bitterness of cynicism has taken root in our thinking.
What's the opposite of cynical? Believing, hopeful, optimistic, trusting, undoubting. The nature of Jesus reflects all five.
After repenting from my cynicism, I received new instructions from Holy Spirit: to verbally declare these five words over myself, and to own them. I am believing, I am hopeful, I am optimistic, I am...
Father forgive me for being cynical. Holy Spirit, restore in me these five virtues. Heal my heart in these areas and restore me. In Jesus's name.
Copyright © March 2021 by J. A. Marx, used with permission.
My family had a four-stall horse barn, and a friend and I decided to build a fort in the rafters. We collected plywood planks from every willing neighborhood donor. I borrowed my dad's hammer and nails, and we built our grandiose hideout within a few hours. I pilfered some leftover carpet scraps, and voilà—we had a carpeted hideout.
Only, one problem. The copious amount of dust. Confession: a few years prior, I thought I'd "help" my dad by hammering all the knots out of the wood plank walls. In my child perspective, those knots were funny-looking and ugly.
My innocent vandalism provided our horses with natural air-conditioning in the summer and a frigid breeze in the winter. The combination of the horses kicking up dirt and the fresh breeze swirling that dust around the barn rendered our new hideout unbreathable. Had I only understood the value of those ugly imperfections.
Research turned up an interesting fact about these funny looking defects:
“Dead branches drop off of healthy, living trees all the time, and wood knots appear in the trunk where branches died. Knots are imperfections that cause living wood grain to grow around them. These imperfections are just part of what makes wood a beautiful material with which to work, but can also contribute to possible defects in structural strength for construction lumber.” - Ron Smith of Wagner Meters [emphasis mine].
I read the above description and, immediately, the biblical symbol of trees representing people took on new life.
“They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do,” a NLT.
How many human trees have dead branches that God needs to lop off?
Imperfections Cause Growth
Do I question God's ability to work His masterpiece in a way that enables me to do the good works He planned for me long ago? He knew all along how I'd turn out. So could I not fairly complain, “Why on earth did you make me this way?”
“...notice how the grain pattern slopes up to 90 degrees to get around wood knots. Remarkable. This is why many consumers enjoy having decorative wood with knots,” - Ron Smith.
If natural wood with knots is this remarkable, how much more remarkable are you and I, given that we begin life made in God's image and then are re-created and transformed by His Spirit? At the same time, our imperfections prevent us from pridefully boasting about our good works. Instead, our “knots” make it so that any display of power must be seen as God’s, not ours.
This beautiful image of knotted wood deepens my understanding of how His power works best in my imperfection. His grace is always sufficient in all situations, but especially when a personal weakness has the potential to defeat me.
Do your imperfections embarrass you—former lifestyle, insecurities, bad choices, etc? Kingdom people value authenticity. Knots keep us authentic.
“At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves,” NLT
To face your shame takes a brave step, an option Adam and Eve ran from, and instead used fig leaves to hide their “knots.” But if you surrender what shames you into the hands of the Master Pruner, He can and will refashion them into your most attractive feature.
Do you view your imperfections as knots to be hammered out? As features you have to hide from others?
Wearing authenticity is more attractive than sporting fig leaves. Ask for Heaven's perspective, and see how God will refashion the unique “grain” of your wood until it beautifully waves around that very imperfection as He refines and perfects you.
Copyright © 05/22/19 J. A. Marx, used with permission.
