The Wicked Veil of the Adoption System

“And we just kept getting like, not us,” said Jordan Ledbetter. 

Emily Ledbetter said, “Do they need more pictures or, um, . . .” 

Jordan said, “It’s not us.”

“Do they want to call us? We would love to talk with them,” said Emily.

Jordan said, “It’s not us.”

“Are you sure they don't want to just talk to us? Maybe if they hear our voice, they'll choose us,” said Emily. 

Married high school sweethearts, Emily and Jordan Ledbetter, started the adoption process seven years after fertility treatments failed to produce a baby.

They decided against invitro in 2019 and took a year off to pray and find an adoption agency. Finally, their paperwork was done, and funds were being raised. Then, as their profile was being circulated …covid hit.

Emily said, “The world was closed. We heard nothing. Like we didn't hear even a potential mom was pregnant and a baby was coming, nothing, nothing. Even the adoption agency, they said, this is uncharted for us.”

In the fall of 2021, the couple began working with another agency. Several birth moms were considering the Ledbetter’s, but they weren’t picked. 

Jordan said, “We started asking like, is there something wrong with our profile? Why did they give a reason for saying no?” 

“And I told Jordan I have six months left in me. I’m just tired,” said Emily. “I'm just kind of tired of this high low, high, low. Yeah, a week later there was, there was another one, a little girl who was due at the end of December. And the mom wanted to call us which never happened before.”

This time they were picked, and their daughter Kennedy was born December 29th 2021.                     
“You're just in love, you know,” said Emily. “And, and you just look at her and she's perfect. And that day when Kennedy's mom did sign her rights away, I cried with her. I cried for her. Cause you could tell this was what she had to do. Cause she loved Kennedy so much.” 

Jordan said, “There were a ton of emotions on both sides. But it was, it, it was a huge sense of relief, right, for that. And it just kind of felt like, okay, this is really happening and we're going to be bringing this baby home.”

Kennedy filled the Ledbetter’s’ home with joy, which they made her middle name. Two years later, they started the adoption process again.  This time the wait wasn’t as long. The birth mom was very cooperative and communicated with the Ledbetter’s throughout the pregnancy.

Emily said, “We were like, oh, okay, well this is working out really well. And the church I mean, we had an amazing church we had the funds and we were ready, we were ready for the baby who was due in August.”  

“And we felt a lot more confident, so confident that we would tell Kennedy like, hey, we're getting ready, ready to bring your brother home. You're going to be a big 
sister,” said Jordan. 

August arrived and the Ledbetter’s headed to the hospital in Florida to be there when the baby was delivered. 

Jordan said, “And we get a text saying, no, I, I want to keep the baby.” 

“We were just sobbing,” said Emily. “She saw the baby. And that's just part of adoption. They can choose to keep their baby once they see them you know?”

However, that wasn’t the case. Two days later they learned the birth mom had lied. The baby had been born 10 days earlier and she had no intention of giving her baby away. The funds the Ledbetter’s provided were used to pay her bills.

Jordan said, “I was the most broken that I’ve ever felt about anything.” 
“I was just confused because it was so easy this time.” said Emily. “And I was like, God, did we miss something? Where was that red flag? There’s supposed to be a red flag, right? There’s supposed to be.”

The couple decided to step away from adoption for a while, to heal. However, they were unaware that their profile was still circulating and when a message from a birth mom in Indiana appeared two months later, they couldn’t overlook it.

Jordan said, “And lo and behold, she selects us and we're back in it. Which is not at all what we had expected, not what we were planning. And yet we, we were really excited at the same time, but so much more cautious. Oh, man!”

Then, in November 2024 the Ledbetter’s became a family of four when Kamden Drake was born.   

Emily said, “And we sobbed, we hugged each other, and we sobbed because we were, we were like, this is the, the Lord's goodness. Yeah. This is what the Lord wanted for us. Yeah. And it was truly beautiful despite the stress and the anxiousness and, and the unknown and the sleepless nights.” 

The fallout of the failed adoption still needed to be dealt with.

Jordan said, “The process of forgiveness was, was very difficult. It took weeks to get to the spot, to the spot where I think we could actually say we forgive her. And, and then there's the nuance of how we seek out justice while still saying, I forgive you. You know, and I, I don't want to destroy your life. I don't want to disparage you, but at the same time, I don't want this to happen to anybody else again.”

Currently, the birth mom from Florida is serving seven months for adoption deception. 

“God has given me a son, just like he gave me a daughter,” said Jordan. “And, and I mean, now our family feels so complete. And with our, with our two kids, it's amazing and it's wild all the same time. 

Emily said, “I just look, look back at it and I just reflect that, gosh, the Lord really is in control. He knows exactly what he's doing. He heard me when I was 18, saying, well, yeah, I'm going to have my own kids, my own little redheaded kids running around and then adopt. And, and he said, I got one better. You're going to have perfect kids for you. Yeah. And, and I wouldn't have it any other way.” 

“Can a heart get more full in those moments? I don't think so,” said Jordan. “It’s amazing.”