The Miracle of Joseph and Essence Green

“It completely turned upside down. I mean, everything just like switched overnight,” said Essence Green.

It seemed nothing could shake Joseph and Essence Green’s relationship or their faith. That is until July 2019, when their fourth child, a daughter named Grace was born prematurely.

Essence said, “I am having a child at 23 weeks and it's like, what's, what's next?”

“The doctors were very, you know, they weren’t very optimistic,” said Joseph Green. “They were like, she has a slim chance to live.”

Between having a child in the neonatal ICU, work, and caring for their three other children ranging from 8 months to 12 years old, the couple quickly felt the strain.

Joseph said, “Number one you're thinking about, is she going to survive all of this? You know, am I going to be a parent that lost this child?”

“Not knowing if my daughter was going to make it, having an eight-month-old baby at home and then, you know, and two other children on top of that. That was a lot,” said Essence.

Meanwhile, life didn’t stop. It became overwhelming as each dealt with the heartbreak and fears in their own way. For Essence, it was continuing to go to work, something her husband didn’t understand.

Joseph said, “Man? It was tough for, for me it was just like, why as a mother you don't see the need to be by our daughter’s bedside and she's fighting for her life. So, it frustrated me.”

Essence said, “And for me, mentally, I just felt like I could not handle that. I felt like it was just, it was too much. Of course, his expectations just seemed high, but at that point they started to seem unrealistic.”

In their 6 years of marriage, the couple rarely argued. Now it seemed it was all they did as their disagreements escalated into angry shouting matches and finger pointing. As children of divorce, both say they were tempted to handle the conflict as their parents had done.

“I don't wanna be a product of what I came from,” said Joseph. “You know, how am I going to do this? How am I going to survive this? My father wasn't part of my life. He taught me when times get tough, basically just leave.”

Essence said, “I can't do this anymore. And I don't know if I actually used the word divorce, but I was just like, I’m done with this. We talk about my mother not being there. I’m sorry to say, but you know, she taught me how to run. And so, it's like, I, I can just leave this situation.”

Meanwhile, prayers continued for baby Grace as she was barely improving. Joseph and Essence both admit there were times they wondered where God was in this time of need, for their baby, and for their marriage.

Joseph said, ‘God, I’m not doing this husband thing right. I’m not being, being a great example as a father. So, Lord, I need you. This is a, this is a moment where I really need to surrender and, and just allow you to teach me how to play both of these roles. Because right now I am failing.”

Essence said, “I think sometimes we think we have to have these elaborate prayers and different things. It was just a small whisper, Lord, why am I dealing with this?”

Then in October after watching Grace fight for her life for three months Essence got a call from the hospital to come immediately.

“I get by her bedside, it's all of these people standing by her bedside, and my baby is, she coded, they're sitting there giving her CPR,” said Essence. “And I looked down at my baby and the doctors at this time had told me they had worked on her for two and a half hours. My baby, right? No life, everything's flatlined. The doctor tells me to call my family in to prepare for a funeral. I said, you can call Jesus if you can get him on the line. And I will never forget that the alarms start to ring off in the hospital while the doctor is still talking to me. They go and say, we have a pulse. and He literally brings my baby back to life.”

Essence said, “And so I understood in that hour that God was with me, and He said in his word that he would never leave me nor forsaken me. He would be with me always. And that was a comforting.”

“That was just a, a game changer for me too,” said Joseph. “God showed us then that He's still with us.”

 With a new perspective, the Greens began working together to bring peace back to their household and marriage. Through prayer and counseling from the leaders at church, they realized they needed to put God at the center of their lives once again.

Joseph said, “Yeah. So, we eventually did come around and apologize to each other on how we treated each other through our stress. Cause sometimes when you're stressed and your anger, you say things you shouldn't say and do things you shouldn't do.”

“I feel like God is touching his heart at this time, right?” said Essence. “He's, he's being the Joseph I know that I met and he's being more considerate of my feelings. He's loving on me more. He's just been that safe place for me that I know him to be.”

After more than a year, Grace was released to go home. Although she would still need ongoing care, Joseph and Essence continue to find hope through their trust in Jesus.

They also launched “The Marriage Makeover”, a ministry for married couples whose relationships need God’s healing.

Essence said, “I say this all the time, often that Grace has taught me how to have grace. I think you still have challenges. It's just a matter of how you deal with the challenges. No more pointing a finger, but, you know, looking to God and asking Him, okay, what do we do?” 

“So, to look back now and to see where we are now, it just goes to show how good God is,” said Joseph. “How He was with us every step of the way. Even when we didn't feel like He was present. And how His strength and His glory is just, it's amazing.”