I saw a meme on Facebook that said, “Gratitude is our ability to see the grace of God, morning by morning, no matter what else greets us in the course of the day.” One October many years ago, the grace and gratitude connection became very real to me.
The crisp fall evening was perfect for a square dance in the country—starry sky, lively music, hay bales, yummy food, sweet fellowship. A night to remember in so many ways. My husband, our six-year-old daughter, my mom, and I had a delightful time with church members and friends. Shortly before the party ended, we said our goodbyes so we could get Mom home.
A few minutes later, our full-size conversion van lay upside down in a ditch from the impact of a speeding car. A drunk driver. We had planned to deliver Mom to her Pleasant Valley address. Instead, God welcomed her in heaven, and doctors didn’t expect me to live.
In an instant, our lives changed dramatically. I lost my best friend, our kids no longer had their grandma, we had to rely on others’ help at home and with our businesses, and I entered into a several-month period of recovery. Yet in the midst of the shock, healing, and grieving, my husband and I were able to forgive the man whose choices caused this unnecessary tragedy.
As you may know, the ability to forgive doesn’t come naturally. When someone has wronged us, we want to retaliate, or hate the person forever. Many times I’ve thought about how we were able to release those feelings, especially after having to endure the man’s false accusations and a horrible court trial experience. I can honestly say it was only because of God’s grace. During all this, God gave me a glimpse of how much he had forgiven me. To not offer the same gift to another would be like saying I was better than God.
It may seem strange, but extending grace to those who’ve wronged us is an act of gratitude for the grace we’ve received from God. We are, in a way, saying, “Thank you, God, for your kindness and mercy. Thank you for your unmerited favor. Thank you for your unconditional love.”
And whether the person acknowledges our gift—or even has awareness of it—we do it more for ourselves. It’s a gesture that brings freedom. By letting go and pardoning others’ actions, we’re able to move forward with our lives. We’re not stuck in the rut of bitterness, resentment, anger, and all those negative feelings that imprison us.
Over the years I’ve learned that grace can’t be explained; it can only be experienced. And when we realize the amazing gift we’ve received, we can’t help but be grateful. God sees our hearts and smiles when we’re able to extend the same grace to others.
No, it doesn’t make sense, but it feels so good. And that makes me grateful all the more.
God, your grace is amazing. I don’t deserve it, yet you so readily pour it out on me. Thank you for your gift of forgiveness, and thank you for making it possible for me to extend forgiveness to others. It’s not always easy to do, Lord, but it brings such a feeling of relief and reminds me of the mercy and grace I’ve received from you. Regardless of what happens during my days, would you help me to always see your grace? I may not be able to explain what it is, but I sure know it when I experience it. And I’m eternally grateful.
Power Statement: Because God has extended his grace to me, I will gratefully extend grace to others.
Reflection and Response: Have you ever thought about the grace and gratitude connection? How does receiving grace make you grateful? Is there anyone you need to forgive right now? Ask God for the grace to make that possible.
Do you ever forget anything? I do. Sometimes I’ll get on an elevator and wonder why I haven’t reached my floor. And then I’ll discover it’s because I hadn’t remembered to push the button. I forget where I’ve put things. I forget the names of my kids. I forget why I went to the other room. And if I’m not careful, I’ll forget meaningful dates or events. If I don’t keep a sticky note or some sort of reminder in front of me, I’m in trouble.
Several years ago on an August day, I realized how important those reminders were to me. I went about my business as I normally do, but I had a niggling feeling that I was forgetting something. Halfway through the day, I came across a significant document while sorting a stack of papers on my table. It was the first day of school, and I had forgotten to take my kids! Yikes!
Because I hadn’t kept that important information at the top of the pile and smack dab in front of my face, I had to put up with friends and school personnel who laughed at me and questioned my mental stability.
“Out of sight, out of mind” is a clichéd expression, but it’s proven to be true in my case.
Unfortunately, that’s also often the case with many of us regarding our relationship with God. If we don’t keep him at the “top of our pile,” we forget that he’s with us. We forget that he wants to help us. We forget that he is I AM. And because of our forgetfulness, we’re troubled needlessly with a load of care.
David wrote the words in Psalms 16:8
I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
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shown above. He knew the key to being still or (unshaken) was to have a constant awareness of the Lord’s presence. Here are some of the ways he kept the Lord continually before him:
Talked honestly with God and carried on a running conversation with him
Meditated on God’s words
Journaled his thoughts and prayers to God (see the Psalms)
Passed down his God stories to the next generation
Sang praises to God
Proclaimed God’s goodness
Talked to others about God
Danced before God
Opened his eyes and heart to notice God at work
Immersed himself in the truth of God’s Word
As with us, life wasn’t always easy for David. He faced storms, dealt with wicked people, confronted giants, had to make difficult decisions, and wrestled with inner turmoil. But because he knew God intimately and kept him at the “top of his pile,” David was able to trust him. God proved himself to David again and again and will do the same for us.
I have problems with forgetfulness, Lord, but I don’t want that to happen when it comes to you. Help me to learn from David and to keep you continually before me. If I do that, I won’t be shaken by the worries and cares and troubles of life. With you at the “top of my pile,” I’ll remember how big you are, how good you are, and how trustworthy you are. Thank you for being at my right hand.
Power Statement: I will set the Lord always before me. I am unshakable when he is at my right hand.
Reflection and Response: What kinds of things shake you? How would setting God always before you help you keep from being shaken? What are methods you could use to help you have a constant awareness of God in your life?
The story in Exodus 3 and 4 is fascinating. Moses, tending his sheep in the desert, sees a burning bush, but the bush isn’t consumed. He goes closer to check it out and hears a voice. “Moses! Moses!” It’s God. Realizing he’s standing on holy ground, Moses removes his sandals.
Then God reveals his great plan: “I’ve seen the misery of the Israelites. I’ve heard them crying because of their slave drivers, and I’m concerned about their suffering. It’s time to rescue them from the hands of the Egyptians and lead them to a land flowing with milk and honey. Good news, Moses! I’ve chosen you to make this happen.”
If Moses hadn’t been barefoot, he’d be shaking in his boots. “Wait a minute, God. You’re sending me? Who am I to do a job like that? I’m just a grownup basket case. I can’t do it. Can’t you ple-e-e-e-e-a-se send someone else?”
God’s response? “I will be with you. It doesn’t matter who you are, Moses. It matters who I am.”
Once Moses took his eyes off himself, he accomplished amazing things for God.
I’ve had many “Moses moments” in my life. When asked years ago to play piano for Bible Study Fellowship, I questioned why God didn’t choose a better musician to do it. “I’m a scriptural pianist, Lord. My left hand doesn’t know what my right hand is doing.” God reminded me that he didn’t call someone else; he called me.
When God made it clear he wanted me to write, I said, “Lord, how am I supposed to write? I can’t even talk without problems.” God reminded me to trust him.
When God wanted me to become a speaker, I protested. “But Lord, don’t you remember the excuse I gave for not writing? You know how I get tongue-tied.” God reminded me of the time he used a donkey to get his message across.
Each time I’ve feared my inadequacies, my underlying thought process was: “What if I fail or look like a fool?” And God reminds me that it’s not about me; it’s about him. If it’s about him and for him and by him, doesn’t it just make sense that he will help me do his work?
God doesn’t need our help. He can get the job done with us or without us, but he chooses us to carry out particular works so we might be blessed and bless others. We can take courage in the fact that God never gives us a job without equipping us for it. He doesn’t want our competence. He wants our obedience. And if we walk forward, hand in hand with him, he will come through for us every time. Guaranteed.
God, I have big problems when my eyes are on myself instead of on you. I see my insecurities, my weaknesses, and my shortcomings, and I forget that it doesn’t matter who I am. It matters who you are. You don’t want my competence, and you certainly don’t want my excuses. You want my willingness to do what you ask. So rather than questioning, “Who am I?” like Moses did, would you help me to say, “Look who God is”? Lord, I want to accomplish big things for you. The only way for me to do that is to step out in obedience and to trust you for the results.
Power Statement: When God asks me to do something, I will say yes, even if it’s scary. Who I am doesn’t matter. Who God is, does.
Reflection and Response: Has God ever asked you to do a particular task that was scary, or that you didn’t feel competent to do? What was it? How did you answer God and how did it work out? What is he calling you to do right now?
I have a confession: I’m not perfect. Hard to believe, isn’t it? What I’ve written below is humbling, but I’m laying it out for the world to see.
My responsibilities include working long hours at home to provide an income for my family, caregiving for my husband, handling my son’s ongoing issues, doing all the shopping and heavy lifting, cooking, coordinating multiple medical appointments, wrestling with never-ending paperwork, making important life decisions, managing my own health needs (when I can fit that in), attempting to keep the world spinning, and ... and ... and ... The truth is I can’t do it all. I get weary.
At times I struggle just to hold my head on my neck, yet I’m embarrassed when visitors see my clutter and the piles of unwashed pots and pans on the counter. I don’t want them to know the real me—someone who has shortcomings. I’ll admit I occasionally have trouble letting people into my life because of a crazy feeling that I’m being judged for what I haven’t done.
Yes, I know that’s flawed thinking—thinking I’m overcoming after years of trials and having no recourse but to rely on other people’s help. I’m finally grasping this reality: I can’t survive without support and assistance.
Even Moses couldn’t. When Joshua fought Amalek, Moses stood at the top of the hill with his hands raised in prayer. While they were lifted high, the Israelites prevailed. But when Moses struggled and his arms dropped due to fatigue, the enemy overpowered them. Aaron and Hur brought a stone and encouraged Moses to sit, and they stood by his side to uphold him until the sun went down. Because of their support, the battle Moses oversaw was won.
Likewise, we can endure our battles with the help of others.
On many occasions friends, family, and church members have come alongside to keep me from falling. I had emergency gall bladder surgery that required a seven-day hospital stay three weeks after my daughter was born. I wasn’t able to carry her for seven weeks. I also had a twenty-month-old son at home. It would have been an impossible situation without help.
After our run-in with the drunk driver, friends and acquaintances filled in at our Christian bookstore and vending company. They did chores, kid duty, ran errands, and watched over me.
During agonizing times with my husband’s health issues and hospitalizations, my friend Jennifer mothered me, and my friend Nancy cared for our three children.
Most recently with my cancer treatments, numerous people have sustained our family through monetary gifts, meals, yard work, house projects, prayers, and encouragement.
Does accepting help mean that I’m weak? That Moses was weak? That you’re weak? No. It means God provides what we need to keep us strong. It’s a message worth remembering.
Loving God, thank you for the support and help of caring people. If I had to face my battles alone, I don’t know how I would endure. Thank you for knowing who I need and what I need and right when I need it. You are so good to me. I like to think that I can do it all, and I get frustrated when I can’t, but the reality is that nobody can. You created us for friendship and fellowship and to uphold each other. Even Moses became fatigued and needed help. Thank you for reminding me that accepting assistance doesn’t mean I’m weak. It means you love me enough to keep me strong through others.
Power Statement: God keeps me strong through the help of others. I will gratefully accept their support.
Reflection and Response: How are you at accepting assistance from others? What battles have you faced that you couldn’t have survived without the help of other people? How did it make you feel to have their support? Is there someone who might need your help today?
Be still. That’s easier said than done, isn’t it? Sometimes I wish I could flip on a little “be still” switch to pacify myself, especially when I have days like today. Right now I’m struggling to gain control of my churning insides.
I’m currently dealing with several major life stressors — undergoing treatment for an aggressive breast cancer, caregiving for my husband who has a rare and progressive muscle disease, carrying a huge burden of financial responsibilities, handling concerns about my youngest son’s circumstances, and facing a looming book deadline. Add to that, in the last couple of days, both vehicles stopped working, my faithful recliner broke, and wasps are entering the house through the bathroom vent.
Then this morning, after putting in many hours on a special project for a person I greatly respect, I received a harsh email rather than a thank-you for my hard work. Reading that email, while being physically and mentally exhausted, pushed me into a not-so-good place. I turned into an emotional mess. Although the person apologized a few hours after sending it, my memory naturally wants to replay the narrative again and again, which agitates my spirit more and more.
And here I am with the task of telling people how to be still. Seriously?
I’ve learned over the years that God likes to give me plenty of opportunities to become well-versed in my topic. And this is one of those times. So after much consideration, I decided I need to change topics. I want to be well-versed in something else! (Perhaps I’ll change it to “How to be happy with a million dollars while living in the Caribbean and looking great in a bikini.”)
For now, I’m reverting to self-talk mode. “Breathe in. Breathe out. Calm down, Twila. It’s time to remind yourself of the sermons you so readily give to others.” In other words, I’m giving myself a pep talk to practice what I preach.
And one of the important truths I like to remind people of is this: whatever we focus on becomes magnified.
If I keep my attention on my problems and heartaches (or hurtful words), they become overwhelming to me and tend to control my life. But if I fix my thoughts on God, he becomes magnified in my heart and mind, and I’m reminded of who he is and what he’s able to do. My attitude changes, and my unsettled spirit quiets down. It takes resolve, but it’s so worthwhile.
Philippians 4:8-9
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
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encourages us to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. If we put that kind of thinking into practice, peace will be ours.
Lord, when the pressures of life become too much for me, and my circumstances are the foremost thing on my mind, I become stressed and overwhelmed. Would you help me to fix my thoughts on you? I want you to be magnified, not the stuff I’m going through. You are excellent and worthy of praise. You are able to calm my agitated spirit. You are the giver of peace. Thank you for being with me.
Power Statement: I have the power to be still. Rather than dwelling on my circumstances and letting them overwhelm me, I will fix my thoughts on God.
Reflection and Response:Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
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says, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” (NLT). What have your thoughts been fixed on lately? What current issues are keeping you from being still?
