Rhonda

Rhea

Rhonda Rhea is an award-winning humor columnist for great magazines such as HomeLife, Leading Hearts, The Pathway, and many more. She is the author of 17 books, including the hilarious fiction, Turtles in the Road and Off Script & Over-Caffeinated—both co-authored with her daughter, Kaley Rhea. Rhonda and Kaley have also teamed up with Bridges TV host, Monica Schmelter, for the Messy to Meaningful books (with a new one coming in 2020). Rhonda also co-wrote the new book, Unruffled with Edie Melson.

Rhonda co-authors the Fix Her Upper series with Beth Duewel, with Fix Her Upper Christmas as their latest release.

In addition to regular TV appearances, Rhonda speaks at conferences and events from coast to coast, serves on many boards and committees, and works as a publishing consultant. She lives near St. Louis with her pastor/husband, has five grown children, and says she’s working toward a bumper crop of grandbabies.

More from Rhonda Rhea

Word Choices

Every time I’m reading something and find someone has misused words, I literally have a cow. (Literally? See what I did there?)

Of course, I know it’s hypocritical of me to have any kind of “beef” over someone else’s word blunders (and yes, I’ll try to ease up on the cow quips—moo-ving on). Personally, I’ve discovered the best way to proofread something is to click “send” first. Only then are you completely free to see the big, fat, glaring mistake.

With the last book manuscript I sent in, I included a note to my editor at the publishing house that read, “You’ll probably catch some errors in this thing. Mark my words.” Editorial humor. You know, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. I sometimes wonder if my editors ever wish I’d send more pictures.

At least I never sugarcoat my words. I might dunk them in coffee. But sugarcoat? Not really, no.

Then again, sweetness isn’t a bad thing when it comes to our words.

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body,” Proverbs 16:24 Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) ESV.

Sweet, yet apparently no calories! “Health to the body.”

There’s something delicious about words that build others up. Words of wisdom. Words of grace. Words that bless. Words of truth. Words that display and pass on the love of Christ. Becoming a true follower of Christ changes the way we choose our words. Because Jesus changes the heart from which each word flows. Our words reveal what we’re made of. Jesus Himself tells us that “the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” Matthew 12:34 You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) CSB.

Without God’s power transforming our words from the inside out, our words are exactly what you’d expect Jesus-less words to be: death. Paul tells us just how sweet the words of the unredeemed aren’t.

“Their throat is an open grave; they deceive with their tongues. Vipers’ venom is under their lips,” Romans 3:13 "Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave. Their tongues are filled with lies.""Snake venom drips from their lips."* OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) CSB.

Is there such a thing as anti-honey? Ick.

We’ve been redeemed from that snake-poison life. That means we get to embrace our calling to get rid of the nasty venom and let the Lord sweeten our speech and make our words count. Paul instructs us:

“No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear,” Ephesians 4:29 Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) HCSB.

Anytime we find bitterness, negativity, maliciousness, lying or any kind of sour, foul words coming from our mouths, that’s our signal something is off in our hearts and it’s time to give it anew—heart, mind, words, all of it—to Him. We need to exchange words. No, not argue. Trade. Replace the venom with the words of sweetness the Lord gives.

O Lord, fill us so completely with You—with Your grace, Your love, Your sweetness. May that sweet grace cover every word we speak, by Your strength, for Your glory and for the building up of Your Kingdom.

Words of grace. Even when people misuse the word “literally.” Yes, grace all day long. Until the cows come home. (I know, sorry, I thought I only had one more of those. I must’ve mis-cow-culated.)

Hospitality with Sugar on Top

I don’t usually cook for the people I love. Because I love them.

And while there’s much that could be said here about being hospitable, there are also a couple of sentences I could add about being “hospital-able”—which, I’m telling you, could also be a thing.

Sometimes I imagine chefs narrating while I’m in the kitchen. Mostly I hear them saying things like, “Oh honey. Just…no.”

You’re probably tempted to tell me I can still set out a nice table of prepped and packaged store-bought goodies. Been there, bought that. And thank you, snack-packagers, for having my snack-back. The last time I did that, though, I realized I’d accidentally purchased an entire table of sugar. In addition to the cookies and candies and chocolate-covered this and that, I bought two beautiful, humongous cakes. This is great, I thought. We have one to eat now, and another one to also eat now.

Seriously. How can I be so bad at snacks that I can’t even buy them well?

We have a Bible study in my home. We hadn’t met too many times before one of the ladies volunteered to bring the food. She brings snacks for every meeting. Every. Meeting. I confess, I pray for this woman now more than I ever did before. Everyone in our Bible study does. She can never, ever miss Bible study. Ever. We need her.

Just a reminder here, that when it comes right down to it, we’re all needed. Even those of us who might be considered hospitality-challenged (hospi-snack-ety challenged?) are included here.

In Ephesians 2:12 In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) CSB, Paul recaps life before Christ when we were “foreigners to the covenants of promise.” But then in the next verse, he reminds us as well that we are now included. Needed. On the “in.”

“But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.”

Just a few verses later, he says,

“So then you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints, and members of God’s household.” Ephesians 2:19 So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) CSB.

Hospitality is not so much about our house. Or its snacks. It’s about that household—and expanding it to include others. As a matter of fact, hospitality is not merely welcoming people into our homes, it’s welcoming people into all our spaces. Into our lives. Into our hearts.

Hebrews 13:1-2 Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters.* Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) puts it together this way:

“Let brotherly love continue. Don’t neglect to show hospitality.”

Without the heart, it’s not the genuine, Jesus kind of hospitality.

I love the part of this passage that gives us the how-to when it comes to loving and showing that hospitality. It’s in verses 20-21.

“Now may the God of peace, who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus—the great Shepherd of the sheep—through the blood of the everlasting covenant, equip you with everything good to do his will, working in us what is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.”

Who equips? Not narrating chefs. Not snack-packers or cake-bakers. Only our God equips us to do His will, through Jesus.

What sweet relief. Everything He wants to accomplish, He will do. All glory to Him.

It’s also a relief to remember that hospitality is about the people, not the party spread. I don’t even have to sugarcoat that. Though let’s be real, I could totally sugarcoat that if I wanted to.

Identity Crisis? None for Me, Thanks

I told all five of my kids when they were little that they could grow up to be anyone they wanted. Of course, present day, that sounds like identity theft. So, oops.

I’ve always figured I should be safe from that kind of identity theft myself. I’m just not sure anyone would want to be me enough to take that kind of risk. I mean, I enjoy being me and all. But I still have a hard time imagining a whole lot of people fighting over who gets to be the gal with the hair that won’t stay appropriately poofed, has some pretty ridiculous attachments to coffee and chocolate, and has enough of an attention deficit to… wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I was probably about to say that when I think about it, there are actually some parts of my identity I would give those identity thieves for free. If they do ever attempt to steal my identity, maybe we should consider punishing them by making them take it. The whole thing.

Every now and then I think about how long I’ve been working at being me, and I sort of wonder if someone else might be better at it than I am.

Then it comes to me that I was created this way. On purpose, even. And my real identity can never be stolen. It can’t be lost. No need to give it away either. My identity is in Christ. It’s completely wrapped up in Him. Every part. Every movement. Paul said,

“For in Him we live and move and exist... 'For we are also His offspring.’” (Acts 17:28 For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your* own poets have said, `We are his offspring.' OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , HCSB).

As the offspring of the Lord, we are who we are in Him. And we are treasured as the most beloved children of God.

“Look at how great a love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children. And we are!” (1 John 3:1 See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don't recognize that we are God's children because they don't know him. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , HCSB).

This! This is who we really are!

What a relief that I don’t have to worry about who steals my identity, drinks my coffee or takes my things. I don’t even have to worry about someone being better at being me than I am. The God of the universe loved this me—this very one—enough to create me and even to redeem me back to Himself.

“He made the One who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him," (2 Corinthians 5:21 For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin,* so that we could be made right with God through Christ. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , HCSB).

That is what I’ve become. The righteousness of God. I am loved. I am redeemed because of Christ. I am His.

If you’ve given your life to Christ, you are His too. And you are exactly the same kind of “loved.” The same God who loves you as His child is at work in you by His Holy Spirit, making it possible for you to truly become all you were meant to be—according to the plan He’s had for you since the beginning of time. You are the best kind of “becoming.”

Take it from me, Rhonda Rhea (and it’s the real me), when your identity is in Jesus, because of Him, you really are the very best you. Leave the identity crisis for the one who feels he needs to steal one.

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy,” (1 Peter 2:9-10 But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests,* a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. "Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God's people.Once you received no mercy; now you have received God's mercy."* OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) , ESV).