Evelyn

Mann

Soon after my 20th week of pregnancy, a doctor told us our son, Samuel, was not growing properly. He was diagnosed with a lethal form of dwarfism called Thanatophoric Dwarfism.

My husband and I prayed. We asked everyone to pray. Many told me they prayed for “God’s will.” I appreciated every prayer but wanted someone to pray for a miracle. I craved prayers of faith that demonstrated a belief our son would live. These prayers came in unexpected ways. One volunteer at a church camp meeting gave me a pair of hand mittens and told me my baby would use her precious gift. Another friend bought a car seat trusting Samuel would need it. Their faith buoyed my own.

One Sunday morning after church, a friend approached me. She had been praying for my son to be born alive despite the doctors’ predictions. She dropped her head and confessed she had doubt in her heart. She wanted to believe my son would live but struggled to believe.

One night, she said God reminded her that He is the God of the impossible. Humbled, she prayed believing God would do something wonderful. As tears streamed down her cheeks, she shook her head, asking, “Why do we doubt?”

Why do we doubt, indeed?

When you pray, do you believe God will answer? You say, “Yes.”

Do you pray with a seed of doubt? “Of course not,” you respond.

Then a friend asks you to pray. Not a little prayer for lost keys, but a seemingly impossible prayer. Perhaps, a relative needs healing from stage four cancer. Or a friend’s daughter has run away from home. You promise to pray.

But do you pray believing God can answer those big prayers? Or does doubt sneak in unawares?

As a mother of a miracle, I confess there is no ground for me to pray without believing. My son was not expected to live past birth. Many people prayed, and God answered, allowing my son to be one of a dozen survivors. That is a big prayer answered.

I receive many prayer requests, like one for a child facing a hopeless medical prognosis. The doctors had given up and the parents sent out requests for prayer. I found myself focusing on the heart-crushing circumstances instead of being single-minded about what God is able to do.