From Panic to Peace

By the time I got to the chorus, my voice was completely gone. Suddenly, I was painfully aware of the lights, and the countless faces staring up at me. And how the song kept going even though when I opened my mouth to sing—barely a whisper came out. 

I panicked. I’m not ashamed to admit it. On a team of people, and in front of the entire church, I felt completely alone. Isolated in my embarrassment. Drowning in my confusion. Almost as if a wave had exploded through the front doors of the sanctuary and was trying to trap me in its current. And with every passing second, the water was getting higher and higher, pulling me deeper until I was completely submerged, without a breath of air left. 

Trying to save myself, I sifted through my brain. I just needed one thing, just one something, anything, to help me get through the song. But the music was blaring, and the reasons “why” were flying too fast in my head for me to catch on to one. I needed a lifeline.

In that moment of desperation, I looked to my right.

A vocalist on our team suddenly locked eyes with me. Without thinking or communicating, she raised her microphone and led the rest of the song in my place. It was worshipful and humble, and exactly what the church needed. And truthfully, it was what I needed.

Whether I was vocally exhausted, or my in-ear monitor malfunctioned (how musicians and singers hear onstage), or I hadn’t controlled my breathing well enough earlier to be able to sustain leading another song… the list goes on and on. But the technicality of it, the reason “why” didn’t matter. The plausible, or hypothetical, explanations weren’t going to save me. 

God needed me to rely on someone other than myself.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT)

I’ve been a worship leader consistently for over 10 years of my life, and I can honestly say that has never happened before. Over the last couple of years, I’m so thankful that this observant team member and I have become really good friends. And I love the fact that she completely had my back in that moment. No question or pause. She just saw me stumbling and reached out her hand to help me back up. God showed His beautiful faithfulness by using someone else to reach me in my moment of need.

Not every season of life, or even circumstance, gives you someone immediately to your right (like my friend onstage) to rescue you. God wants us to trust in Him to provide a helping hand. It might not be what you expect, or even who you expect. Whether you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, finances, purpose, or somewhere in between, you’re not alone. In every situation, God calls us to community because when one of us falls, He promises help. And when you’re back on your feet, be ready to reach out your hand to someone else in return.

~

Scripture is quoted from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.