Hold on Tight
Saturday morning, the day before Easter, I was driving to the grocery store about 15 miles away. In the distance, I saw something in the sky. As I got closer, I noticed it was a kite. Immediately, I thought of the times my husband and I would take our son and daughter out to an open field and fly kites when they were young. I could see it vividly in my mind. We would have a lot of fun just spending time together as a family.
“Well, today, I’m going to go buy a kite and fly it," I thought. I wanted to do that for my son, Byron, who is now in Heaven. It had only been 11 weeks since he moved. My heart has been so broken. I felt as though it would bring some sense of healing. After all, this healing is coming in very small increments and anything that aids in this process, I try to do.
When I got home from grocery shopping, I realized I had forgotten to buy a kite. I was so upset. We live in a very small town and it’s not likely I would find a kite there. “Oh well, I’ll just have to fly a kite another day,” I said to myself.
The next day, I was really having a tough time. My husband and I had a disagreement. Some very hurtful things were said (which can be very dangerous during a time of grieving). In times like that, if you’re not careful, the enemy sneaks in and before you know it, there is an explosion of emotions. The next minute, my husband was leaving in his truck to go work his sideline job. He needed to get away for a couple of hours.
I sat down and cried hysterically, saying over and over, “Byron, I miss you so much. I really miss you. I wish I could talk to you. Please God, let Byron speak to me.” Byron and I, over the years, had become very close friends — not just a mother and son relationship. We had to spend a lot of time together due to a health situation. He and I always prayed for and encouraged each other. I was really feeling that void in my life that day.
Later that evening, I felt the Lord tell me that I needed to make peace with my husband. We had sown too much into our family to just let our marriage go down. I certainly wasn’t going to give the devil ground. Remember, your enemy never backs off when you are faced with a crisis. So, I tried to sit down with my husband and talk things over. Well, it didn’t get much better — but at least we were civil to each other. I kept praying for the Lord to help us.
About an hour later, I sat down at Byron’s laptop computer. I was just looking around for whatever I could find. I came across something that Byron had written. It was the start of a Devotion he was working on.
Byron wrote:
Hold on Tight!
By Byron BohnertI remember as a kid when my parents would take my sister and me out to fly kites. They always helped us get our kite up in the air and once the kite was flying good, they’d hand us the kite string and say, “Be sure to hold on tight and don’t let go.” There were no problems when you held on tight, but if you accidentally let go, the kite would take off.
Wow, God answered my prayers again! Why was I ever in doubt? There it was in black and white. I knew Byron was writing about hanging on to Jesus in his devotion. I started crying when I read the paragraph. My husband walked over and asked what was wrong. When I shared with him that I believe Byron is telling us to hold on tight and don’t let go, he broke down crying. He apologized to Byron and me for how he had acted that day. There was another answered prayer. The Lord did help us bring this conflict to an end.
I would say to you, “Continue calling upon the Lord, Jesus. Whatever happens in your life, don’t let go of Him. Keep striving to live in peace and harmony with each other, even when things seem to be getting worse. He will send the help you need and it will always come in a way you never thought.”
By the way, I’m going to the store today to buy a kite. I will fly that kite and hold on tight. That’s how I’m celebrating the first Easter without my son. Yes, I’m hurting but at least I know my son, Byron, is able to be in the presence of God’s son, Jesus. Isn’t that what Easter is all about?
Copyright © 2009 Sue Bohnert, used with permission.