God Orchestrated the Salvation of One Life to Save Hers

“I felt completely alone,” Margot Blair said as she thought back on the day of her life’s lowest moment. “I just started shutting down. I was going to take my life and there wasn't going to be anybody to stop me.”

Margot has fond memories of piggyback rides and going fishing with her adoptive father. However, there’s one memory she wishes she could forget – the day he committed suicide.

“I was five years old,” Margot said. “My dad was clinically depressed. He had bipolar disorder, was an alcoholic, but no one was able to explain that. So, the pain, the hurt, just the misunderstandings were so deeply rooted.”

Those emotional wounds grew deeper when her classmates began bullying her about her father’s suicide, saying that he did it to get away from her.

“And I'm like, ‘Well, maybe that is true,” Margot said. “I believed that if he loved me, then he would have not taken his own life. I was afraid, even as a young girl, that the fate of my father was ultimately going to be my fate as well.”

The pain would get deeper still.

“I was eleven at the time,” Margot remembered. “I had been hanging out with this girl and she had a boyfriend. I went with her to the boyfriend's house and another one of his friends was there. The friend decided that he was going to sexually assault me at gunpoint. I felt ruined. I felt all complete shame. I felt guilty.”

Margot walked home in the rain. Coming into the house, she’d hoped her mother would ask what happened, but she didn’t.

“I believed that as a mother, she should have known that I was just taken advantage of in some way,” Margot said about that moment. “I blamed her for everything. Those thoughts of being worthless, those just intensified.”

Margot dove into partying and having sex, just trying to find acceptance with whoever she could, even starting a toxic relationship with the boy who raped her. This went on until she was fifteen and one of her friend’s parents insisted on taking her to church. Margot knew about Jesus and had even professed her faith in him as a little girl, but she’d lost that connection after everything she’d been through.

“As the pastor was preaching I felt he was delivering this message straight to me,” Margot said. “You are chosen, you are worthy. Everything that's happening to you in your life, God can use it for good.”

So, when the Pastor offered to baptize Margot, she agreed, seeing this as an opportunity to rededicate her life to Jesus.

“It was a type of peace,” Margot said about the feeling of being baptized. “I knew in that moment that God was real. I decided that I was ready to change, I needed to change.”

Believing God was calling her to a greater purpose, Margot stopped partying and committed herself to school and studying the Bible. She graduated from college at nineteen and started her own business as a life coach, helping young girls work through their adversities and leading many to Christ. But as the years went on, her relationship with God waned.    

“I really wasn't connected in my church home anymore because I was traveling so much,” Margot said. “The crowds of people that I started finding myself with were people who didn't necessarily believe. Because I was even around them, I was susceptible.”

Then she ended up in an abusive relationship, bringing back the traumatic memories and negative emotions of her youth.

“How did I get here again?” Margot wondered. “When I was out in the world people saw this strong, bold woman who had overcome all of this adversity. But when I went home, I heard that voice telling me that I was essentially worthless. I found myself sitting in the man's home with a gun. I'm about to take my life the same way my dad took his. And in that moment, my phone started ringing. I pick up the phone and my friend says to me, ‘I'm ready.’ She said, ‘I'm ready to give my life to Christ. Will you tell what I need to say or do?’ I realized at that moment that God used my friend to save me. In that moment I declared, ‘Lord, I don't know what this is going to look like, but whatever you need me to do, I'm going to live my life to serve you.’”

Margot put down the gun and led her friend to Christ that night. She realized she’d been covering her childhood pain instead of relying on God to heal her. She devoted herself to rebuilding a personal relationship with Christ through prayer and scripture, but there was one more thing she needed to do to find complete healing – forgive those who’d hurt her.

“God brought me to a place where I was able to forgive my mother, my abuser, myself – to break free from these strongholds that have been defining me for far too long,” Margot said. These are the experiences that happened to me, but there is a whole lot more life that I have left to live. I have to be a voice for God's daughters so that they can learn to heal.”

Margot is now raising a Christ-centered family, while continuing to fulfill her purpose of speaking to women, guiding them to the one true Savior.   

“I owe God my life,” Margot said. “I have clinically acknowledged depression today, but at the same time every day I go to my Bible, every day I declare God's truth over me – not that diagnosis. God is a redeeming God. No matter how messy or how deep you think that you have gotten yourself into, God has chosen you.”