The Refiner's Gold

CBN.com "I think there was a void in my heart from a very young age," says Michelle. "There was just something missing in my life, and I think as much as my family loved me, they had trouble getting along. There was a lot of fighting and arguing and sad things going on in my house that definitely helped to create that void."

Michelle's search for her own identity took a dangerous turn.

"I was sexually molested by someone close to me," she says. "I think it deeply, deeply affected my life. I was searching for something in my life. I didn't know what. I developed a promiscuous lifestyle, thinking that that would somehow answer my questions."

Michelle also found solace in her music. She dreamed of becoming a star. At the age of 15, she traveled to Florida to make a demo with a cousin who was in the music business. But the trip didn't turn out as she expected. While there, Michelle's Jewish cousin told her about Jesus.

"We take a walk on the beach. I think we're just going to take a break, and he tells me, 'Michelle, Jesus is the Jewish Messiah.' He basically just told me in a really simple way, 'Jesus died for our sins. He healed people. He healed the blind. He made the blind see, the deaf hear.' With the faith of a child, I just automatically received it.

"I felt that a lot of things in my life were settled in that moment," Michelle continues. "I ran home to New York, I got myself a Bible with the red printing, Jesus' writings in red, and I would sneak to church on my bicycle. I took my bike and told my parents, 'I'm off - going bike riding.' There I was sneaking to church!"

Michelle hid her newfound faith in Jesus from her family for several months. When her parents finally discovered she was a Christian, they were devastated.

"First they told me they were going to Sit Shiva for me, which means when a Jewish person dies in a religious family, people sit on boxes and cover their mirrors in an attempt not to think of themselves; they mourn for a person by covering the mirrors. They told me that because I believed in Jesus, they were going to mourn for me like I died."

Her parents were so alarmed by Michelle's conversion that they hid her Bible in the garage under some old rags. They also brought in a deprogrammer.

"A rabbi sits down with you and tries to undo your thinking, tries to make you believe that Jesus is not the Messiah," Michelle explains. "The deprogrammer sat me down in his library, he's got all these books, and he's telling me, 'Jesus is not the Messiah.' I said, 'How do you figure that?' And he goes, 'Look at all these books I've read. I'm telling you by all these books I've read that Jesus is not the Messiah.' 'Have you read the New Testament?' I asked him. He said, 'No. I haven't read it. I don't need to read it.' Believe it or not, that weekend I decided to repent for believing in Jesus. I was so confused."

Michelle abandoned her belief in Jesus and went back to her old ways. She continued singing and won the coveted Lena Horne scholarship to the Manhattan School of Music, one of the most prestigious music programs in the country. Then the unthinkable happened. Michelle developed a cyst on her vocal cords and lost her voice.

"I was studying opera. I was doing everything right. I found out later that I actually had a non-cancerous cyst on my vocal cords for years," she says. "I had to get it removed. God, I think, was using that to wake me up."

Up until that point in her life, Michelle's music was what she depended on to bring her happiness. But when that failed her, Michelle had to make a choice.

Says Michelle, "I woke up that day I said, 'Wait a minute. I can't put my hope in people. I can't put my hope in my voice. I need something stronger.' "

Michelle knew she needed help. She entered a 12-step program for people from abusive backgrounds. While she was there, Michelle gradually reestablished her relationship with Jesus Christ.

"The 12th step was seeking a more spiritual relationship with God as you understood Him. And I go, 'Great, I'm going to go back to church.' I think it was there that I even got a better understand of how loving God is-of how He longs to have a relationship with us, to talk with us; of how God longs to fall in love with us and for us to fall in love with Him," she says.

Since that time, Michelle's life has changed dramatically. She met Joe, the youth pastor at her church. He became her husband and best friend. Michelle's family has been affected by the changes in her life as well.

"They saw my life being restored. They saw how happy I was, and I am with him. They also were very enamored by Joe, and Joe would share with them about his faith in Messiah. They were open to hearing it. So they've really come to accept it," she says. "They also saw my life change. They saw me become a happier person. They saw my purity. They saw me go through a four-year relationship keeping pure in the Lord. They saw a total lifestyle change."

Now Michelle ministers in song all over the United States and overseas. She and Joe both have a deep desire to communicate God's life-changing love to others.

"I had read

, where Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father but through me.' And then reading Isaiah 53, where it's a total description of Jesus. How exciting! God made it so clear for us. Isaiah 53, if you read the chapter, it's like, 'He was pierced for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities. By his stripes we are healed,' " Michelle concludes.