God Reversed the Effects of Sexual Abuse

“I loved sin. My flesh loved it. My body loved it. Pornography, marijuana, sex was totally a medicine. That was my medicine. My name is Eric Villatoro, and my testimony started all the way from when I was a child. Really, nine months. My parents separated. Uh, they were both immigrants into the United States, Salvadorian and Nicaragua. At nine months, uh, they separated after having me and my mom moved back to Nicaragua. When she moved back to Nicaragua, she took me with her.”

“My mom would take us to mass every now and then. But it was never something that we devoutly did but as I was growing up, I could, I had that thing in me that I just knew that there was a God. And I came into a third world country essentially where we had a lot of dirt, a lot of fun, a lot of pinatas. It was a great, great time, but there was also a lot of brokenness that I came into.” 

“In the midst of all these amazing events that were happening in my life at the age of five years old I was sexually abused for the first time by a family friend. This opened a whole new world for me. I started to notice that my cousins had, uh, were having different types of interactions that were inappropriate, that then I started getting involved with.”

At eight years old, Eric moved to New York City to live with his dad. The abuse followed him. He recalls:

“It went from being molested by a teenager when I was young, to then child on child abuse with cousins to now being in the States, and now it's adults that are molesting me, that were renting from my dad's house. I think by that time I had been through so many different moments, so many different sexual encounters that it was, it was an exciting thing to me. It was almost like I had been brainwashed. But really, I was broken.” 

“My dad wasn't present emotionally in my life. And my mom didn't know. She was still living in Nicaragua, and so I believe that, you know, the diving into the sexual brokenness was the desire to have closeness with somebody.”

Two years later, Eric became an addict. He recalls when he first got hooked:

“The first time that I came across pornography it was an excitement. I mean, it was like a hit of drugs, you know? Because I knew I can access this myself. I can go home in my dad's computer, and I can find this myself. It was totally a rush of, uh, adrenaline in my little heart. Um, and I mean, that, that's what really then led me into a full-blown pornographic addiction. By the age of 10, I was totally hooked.”

“There was addiction to pornography from the age of 10. There was addiction to sex at the age of 14. There was an addiction to marijuana at the age of 18, 19. I mean, it was just a progression. It was just getting worse and worse and worse. But to everybody on the outside, it looked fine to everybody on the outside, it looked like everything was okay. I got to a point, I was finished watching porn, and it's just a disgust with myself. The shame, nobody knew about the shame. But that shame, man, it was a plague in my mind.” 

At 23, Eric’s girlfriend of six years left him. He says it was devastating. 

“Man, just feeling the weight of that heartbreak, I said, 'God, I don't want to ever feel this again. I don't want to feel like this ever again.' And I said, 'come into my life. Change my life. Whatever you wanna do, just do it.' It's a very simple prayer for me. But for God, it was like, man, like He got to work.”

“I used to have this really, I mean, total addiction to pornography. I felt hopeless. And here comes Jesus into my life. Here comes the Word of God into my life. I'm just saying, 'Lord, remove this thing from me. Remove this addiction from me. Help me through this.' The dominion that sin had over me was broken. And so, now I was able to walk in freedom. Slowly but surely, it was happening over time. I was able to forgive the people that had sexually abused me. I was able to forgive my father, um, for not being emotionally there for me. I was able to forgive my mom, you know, for the separation that had happened, her decision to move back. My life was being transformed. I was being healed.”

Now Eric has a new purpose.

“For me it's been amazing to see how God can take something that is totally broken, take something that was dark, shameful, expose it to the light, and now be able to help other people. So, we started ministry called Delafe Testimonies. Um, and we have a vision to record 1 million testimonies. So that other people can see that they're not the only ones that are going through molestation, through...through drug addiction, um, through physical abuse in a home. Like whatever the case may be. They’re not the only ones.”

“Whatever is going on, Jesus can take on that thing. Jesus can heal you. Jesus can restore you. Jesus can save you. Call out to God, say, 'Lord, reveal Yourself to me. Come into my life. I want that. Transform my life.' And man, He'll do it. He'll do it. A hundred percent. He'll do it.”

To learn more about Eric's ministry, Mission Delafė, please visit his website: www.MissionDelafė.org.