Growing up, I thought my family was unique. Others have probably thought the same about their families. Who could dispute it? My parents sternly warned us not to tell our “business” to others under threat of punishment! We went to Mass and ate fish on Fridays (I did not like fish). My siblings and I attended Catholic schools and got good grades. We knew our parents loved us and not much else mattered. Unique, right?
I remember being five or six and wanting a pack of chewing gum from the Ben Franklin store we visited. I snuck it when my mother wasn’t looking. When my crime was discovered, my father gave me a terrible spanking. Ben Franklin never had to worry about me taking anything again… ever! My dad put the fear of God in me and I love him dearly for it! Unique, right?
As a tween, my siblings and I were playing ball in the house. Did I mention that we were told not to do this? As fate would have it, we broke the ceiling light. We had that look of terror on our faces because we knew what was going to happen when my Father got home. He lined us up according to age and the “party” began. I don’t know about you, but my father could whip off that leather belt in a New York minute—one, two, three, and bam! That was another fear-and-trembling moment in our lives. Unique, right?
My family was a closely knit one that looked out for its own. We had challenges, but a lack of love was not one of them. My sister followed me everywhere. My parents required her to tag along. Consequently, we would do anything for one another (then and now).
My heart races with emotion as I read about King David and his family. The prophet Nathan rebuked King David after he committed adultery:
“Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.” Thus says the Lord: “Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house.” 2 Samuel 12:10-11
From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah's wife to be your own. "This is what the LORD says: Because of what you have done, I will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man before your very eyes, and he will go to bed with them in public view.
OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)
(NKJV)
The king paid a heavy price for his sin.
Second Samuel 13 presents a jaw-dropping family drama. (Read 2 Samuel 13:1-39
Now David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her. But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David's brother Shimea.* One day Jonadab said to Amnon, "What's the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?" So Amnon told him, "I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister." "Well," Jonadab said, "I'll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you'll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands." So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, "Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish* as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands." So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon's house to prepare some food for him. When Tamar arrived at Amnon's house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. "Everyone get out of here," Amnon told his servants. So they all left. Then he said to Tamar, "Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here." So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, "Come to bed with me, my darling sister." "No, my brother!" she cried. "Don't be foolish! Don't do this to me! Such wicked things aren't done in Israel. Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me." But Amnon wouldn't listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. Then suddenly Amnon's love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. "Get out of here!" he snarled at her. "No, no!" Tamar cried. "Sending me away now is worse than what you've already done to me." But Amnon wouldn't listen to her. He shouted for his servant and demanded, "Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!" So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe,* as was the custom in those days for the king's virgin daughters. But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, "Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he's your brother. Don't you worry about it." So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom's house. When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry.* And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister. Two years later, when Absalom's sheep were being sheared at Baal-hazor near Ephraim, Absalom invited all the king's sons to come to a feast. He went to the king and said, "My sheep-shearers are now at work. Would the king and his servants please come to celebrate the occasion with me?" The king replied, "No, my son. If we all came, we would be too much of a burden on you." Absalom pressed him, but the king would not come, though he gave Absalom his blessing. "Well, then," Absalom said, "if you can't come, how about sending my brother Amnon with us?" "Why Amnon?" the king asked. But Absalom kept on pressing the king until he finally agreed to let all his sons attend, including Amnon. So Absalom prepared a feast fit for a king.* Absalom told his men, "Wait until Amnon gets drunk; then at my signal, kill him! Don't be afraid. I'm the one who has given the command. Take courage and do it!" So at Absalom's signal they murdered Amnon. Then the other sons of the king jumped on their mules and fled. As they were on the way back to Jerusalem, this report reached David: "Absalom has killed all the king's sons; not one is left alive!" The king got up, tore his robe, and threw himself on the ground. His advisers also tore their clothes in horror and sorrow. But just then Jonadab, the son of David's brother Shimea, arrived and said, "No, don't believe that all the king's sons have been killed! It was only Amnon! Absalom has been plotting this ever since Amnon raped his sister Tamar. No, my lord the king, your sons aren't all dead! It was only Amnon." Meanwhile Absalom escaped. Then the watchman on the Jerusalem wall saw a great crowd coming down the hill on the road from the west. He ran to tell the king, "I see a crowd of people coming from the Horonaim road along the side of the hill."& "Look!" Jonadab told the king. "There they are now! The king's sons are coming, just as I said." They soon arrived, weeping and sobbing, and the king and all his servants wept bitterly with them. And David mourned many days for his son Amnon. Absalom fled to his grandfather, Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. He stayed there in Geshur for three years. And King David,* now reconciled to Amnon's death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom.*
OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)
.) No sacred secrets here! I read in wonderment, as Amnon went from loving (perhaps lust better describes those feelings) his sister Tamar to committing violence against her, to hating her.
Imagine going to care for your ill brother but getting violated instead. This traumatic deed made the king “very angry,” but we do not read about him punishing his son. Cultural differences do require some consideration, but our hearts sadly weep for Tamar.
Tamar’s brother, Absalom, did not respond like their father. Perhaps Amnon had even forgotten the incident? Two years later, Absalom slew his brother. This whole account portrays family dysfunction at its worst! Thank God for grace and mercy!
I think I’ll keep my unique family just as we are!
Let’s pray…
Father God, we need Your healing touch. Direct our paths through the challenges we face. Let Your wisdom prevail; may we never despise You as we seek to humbly serve You and honor others, in Jesus’ name. Amen!
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About The Author
Vernell
Windsor
Elder Vernell Windsor is a Regent University graduate with a Master of Theological Studies and a lifelong learner who enjoys reading and laughter with friends and family. She's an ordained elder who loves Jesus and His people and had worked at CBN since 2013.