Standing In Trial Before the Judge, Jesus Plead Her Case: Not Guilty!

“I wanted to be relentless in my pursuit of success.” Recalls Malissa, “I particularly wanted to prove to my mom, prove to my dad that I could do it on my own.” Feelings of condemnation from her childhood, along with her own ego drove Malissa to do whatever it took to be successful. “People were completely disposable to me, dispensable to me. I didn't find value in relationships. I would get rid of you and kick you outta my life in the same way it was done for me.”

Her ambition to be successful brought opportunities in Atlanta, selling high end watches and jewelry. She says, “I was a million-dollar writer for the company. I was doing great. I had celebrity clients, big clientele, and I would be selling a diamond ring to someone's husband. And at the same time going to Miami with the same man.”

Still she wanted more. She moved to New York for bigger opportunities and got a job selling Rolex and other high end watches on fifth Avenue, but sales were hard to come by – soon, she feared her job was on the line. “Feelings of failure. And also that old familiar feeling of condemnation hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt constant fear that I was gonna lose my job. And I felt this utter panic rush over me that I, in desperation, that I need to do something in order to save my job.” Says Malissa.

Former clients from Atlanta presented an opportunity for Malissa to make a large sale, but there was a catch, She says, “They wanted to buy two watches, and they were gonna do it with fake credit cards. And originally, I was like, ‘oh, no’, but I became, got more desperate and I got more desperate. My sales are not doing that good, I don't want to move back home and say, ‘I’ve failed.’”

She made the deal. A month later police brought her in for questioning regarding her role in the scheme. Malissa was once again overwhelmed with a sense of failure and condemnation. She says, “You're like the worst person. How could you do something like that? Like, look at you. This is ridiculous. You ruined your life’ and those thoughts were tormenting. They were over and over and over, these voices are like just in your head telling you like how you're not valuable and how this is so crazy and just dumb to made a decision what you did, now look at you.”

Eventually Malissa was charged with third degree grand larceny and faced the possibility of up to seven years in prison. Before turning herself in she talked on the phone with her aunt who told her about Jesus. “She starts to talk to me about how he wants to help me, and how he loves me, and how much like he cares for me.” Recalls Malissa, “And I was just like, well, why would he wanna help somebody who's done all these things? My whole life I've been against him. Well, why would he wanna help me? It just didn't make sense.”

While in a holding cell waiting for her bail hearing, Malissa says she had a spiritual encounter that changed her life. She says, “And I don't even know who I'm talking to. I'm just saying like, ‘I'm just so sorry.’ And in the midst of me saying that this bright white light comes and permeates the cell,  and it felt like a force, like a presence. And it like knocked me to the ground. Like, and when I was on the ground, I was next to the feet of Jesus. And I knew that it was Jesus. I knew it was him. Malissa says she then saw a vision of her entire life, every sinful decision and selfish action revealed in front of Jesus. Instead of condemnation she felt his love. “He overwhelmed me with a love that I have never experienced in my life. I didn't have a need in that moment. I didn't have a want in that moment, but I was fully aware of how sinful that I was.”

As she repented from her sins, she says Jesus told her about her future – ministering to women and children, and that she would go free that day. A few hours later, to her lawyer’s surprise she was released without bail. Malissa says, “I've only ever known condemnation. I never even knew what Grace was, and what happened in the courtroom is like what he did on the cross for me, that I was literally guilty, but because of what he did for me, I could go free. And that was where I had the big revelation of just who he is.”

Having experienced the unconditional love of God in such a powerful way, Malissa gave her life to Jesus. “I have never experienced unconditional love. Every piece of love I've known has been transactional and has been conditional. And when you understand the father's love, when you understand Jesus' love for you, it is what endows you to want to obey him. It is what endows you to wanna follow him.” She says. 

The feelings of condemnation she’d always known have been exchanged for the grace of God that set her free and gave her a new purpose. She says, “He chose to love me. And because of that I give my life to him. And I know that he has no respect of person, so what he's done for me, I know that he is willing and able and capable to do for others. To see everything that he said be true and to be working with women and children on behalf of him, it is just an absolute honor. And I'm not turning back.”

CREDITS:

Story lead courtesy of Delafé testimonies, building the world’s largest archive of Jesus testimonies: https://www.missiondelafe.org