The Chains God Freed Me From

TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD

Ashley Henriott isn’t supposed to be alive. Her mother was in an abusive relationship when she got pregnant. Her boyfriend pushed for an abortion and even paid for it. Thankfully, her mom couldn’t go through with it and Ashley was born. She was alive but her life would be anything but easy.

A drug addict, her mother also struggled with bipolar and schizophrenia. Ashley explains, “On her best day, she forgot to pick me up from school. On her worst day, she was emotionally and physically abusive to me.”

Her stepdad was worse. He waited until the family went to bed and made Ashley stay behind to watch porn with him as a little girl. Nobody helped her, so Ashley lived in fear while learning to survive her dysfunctional family.

As a teenager, her drunk grandmother accidentally blurted out the truth—that she was adopted. Ashley pretended to act sad but was relieved her stepdad wasn’t her real dad. When she asked her mother who her real father was, her mom told her some things but left other details out. 

“For the longest time, I waited for someone to rescue you. When I was little, I was sure someone would. Maybe my mom would sober up and start protecting me from my stepdad. Maybe my real dad would come back or my grandma (who dealt with issues around alcohol) would get it together, and my life would be magically wonderful,” she says.

When Ashley found out her real father wanted her aborted, it was too much to take. Feeling worthless and unloved and that she was nothing but a mistake, Ashley hit rock bottom and tried to take her life.

Her mom found Ashley and knew she needed to act fast. So, she waited until her husband was gone to sneak Ashley over to live with her grandmother. When her stepdad found out, he came looking for Ashley and threatened to kill her. Ashley mustered up the courage to stand up to him for the first time and he left.

Her new environment wasn’t healthy either but at least she wasn’t being sexually abused.

Seeking peace, love, and safety, Ashley would sometimes walk to church by herself. “I always felt at home in church,” she explains.  

With more years of abuse ahead, Ashley tried her best to make the most of life but turned to substance abuse to numb the pain. One night, she and other teenage girlfriends went roller skating.

That night a 29-year-old woman named Kayla took a liking to Ashley and sought her out. Kayla frequently visited places where she could find young girls. Young and naïve, Ashley didn’t understand that Kayla was a sex predator.

At first, Ashley was drawn to Kayla because she seemed like someone who might protect her. After months of friendship, she and her girlfriends had a sleepover. They were all drinking and partying until they passed out asleep. That’s when Kayla made her move. Ashley woke up to Kayla sexually assaulting her. Sadly, because Ashley was so used to sexual abuse, she let it happen. After that Kayla followed Ashley around everywhere—school, her job, you name it. She was always there, and Ashley decided this new dysfunctional person might be better than her stepdad. But she quickly realized it was just as bad. The only person Kayla allowed Ashley to interact with was her brother, Derek. He was 15 years older than Ashley and showed interest in her. She thought Derek might be the only way to get away. So, she left with him and eventually became pregnant with his baby at 19.  

They moved to the Outer Banks, North Carolina where he found work. Since Derek was away working a lot, and Ashley was home alone with their son, she grew lonely. Seeking refuge in a place that always felt like home, she attended a nearby church called Cabin Swamp Church of Christ. One Sunday, Ashley responded and went up to the front of the church to pray. She explains, “As the end of service drew to a close, I walked up the aisle. I meant to simply bend down and pray like I had in other churches. Little did I know, I’d responded to an altar call.”

As the pastor came to talk and pray with Ashley, she poured her heart out to him. As tears fell down her face, the pastor explained how much Jesus loved her. Ashley knew Jesus was what she was looking for and prayed the sinner's prayer that day.

“I realized that Jesus was the one running after me, calling me by my name, drawing me toward him. He was ready to receive me with the love I’d always been looking for. I’d found my Savior, and my Father found me,” she explains.

THE IMPORTANCE OF CONFIDENCE

In her book, Confidence Is an Inside Job, Ashley is open and honest about the hardships she endured and how they affected her self-worth and confidence. She also shares how God has radically transformed her life. Now, Ashley wants to help others struggling to understand their God-given mission and purpose by sharing practical strategies to help cultivate self-confidence. If you’re struggling with low self-worth, Ashley says you should:

• Check your thoughts: Not every thought you have is true. Ask yourself what you’re thinking is true and if the standard to which you’re holding yourself is fact or fantasy.
• Challenge your triggers: Are you set off by people or messages you see on social media or in other areas of life? If so, try to limit your contact with them, and note how you feel after a few days.
• Water your garden: Take time to cultivate your life as it is today. Invest in your wellness and self-care and try to make room for these things.
• Run your race: In a race, runners each have their own speed, lung capacity, and more. Don’t compare your race with someone else’s; stay in your lane and celebrate your achievements, big and small.

FINDING HER PLACE

Ashley met and married Doug and they have four children. During COVID, when her entire family was on lockdown, along with the rest of the world, Ashley began sharing her heart on social media and people took notice. Now, with hundreds of thousands of followers, Ashley’s mission is to help others find their God-given calling and purpose in life.  

To learn more about Ashley Henriott click the Link! 

CREDITS

Author, Confidence Is an Inside Job (Penguin Random House, 2024); Host of Confidence and Coffee podcast; Content Creator on TikTok, Confidence coach for women; married to Doug, four children.