The Real Life ‘Job’ Tells His Story

WAGES OF WAR

Retired U.S. Army Sergeant Eric Donoho enlisted in the Army in 2006. On deployment in Iraq, Eric survived his first explosion, then another three months later, and a third eight months after that. His brain was so badly damaged he could barely form sentences. He was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). After cognitive and speech therapy for over a year, his neurologist confirmed that Eric could no longer return to the infantry or engage in any high-risk activities. On February 26, 2009, Eric retired. 

Being thrust into civilian life, his war injuries, and his inability to sleep due to horrible dreams left Eric struggling to keep his head above water. In addition, Eric and Jenn were still grieving the loss of their son David who made it seven months in the womb only to be delivered stillborn. That massive loss was coupled with six other miscarriages, Jenn’s diagnosis of breast cancer, and later, Eric’s diagnosis of thyroid cancer. While they both survived cancer, the trauma and pain they faced over the years had left its mark.

Instead of grieving together, Eric kept everything bottled up. He explains, “My failure to openly support my wife or to share my inner turmoil only deepened the wounds in our marriage. While we both made efforts to navigate the complexities of our relationship and to heal the growing rifts, my approach—living in a state of anger and withdrawal—had a profound impact on Jenn.”

Turning to God for comfort, Jenn found peace. While Eric would occasionally go to church with Jenn, he was still struggling with God. “While I didn’t doubt His existence, my faith in His benevolence and my place within His grace began to waver,” he explains. 
His heart would later soften towards the Lord when his daughter, Kayleigh, and son Byron, were born healthy. He loved being a father but struggled to find his purpose outside of home. 

As he and Jenn grew apart, Eric learned that she was contemplating divorce. 

“I couldn’t envision a way forward where my efforts would amount to anything meaningful. In this darkened state of mind, the thought of ending my life emerged as a visible escape from the unending cycle of failure,” 
he shares.

In 2015, six years after retirement, Eric hit rock bottom. He dropped the kids off at daycare and rushed home. Wasting no time, he got his gun, sat at the kitchen table, put the gun inside his mouth, and pulled the trigger. Yet, the gun didn’t go off. He unassembled the gun to check it, resembled it, let out a dry shot, and it worked. So, he tried to kill himself again, but the gun still refused to fire. When Eric looked at the clock, he noticed it was time to pick up the kids. When the kids got into the car, Eric was grateful he was still alive to be there for his family.

FINDING THE LIGHT

Soon thereafter, he called his best friend Brett and poured his heart out. “It was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had,” Eric admits. With no judgment, Brett listened and let Eric know he wasn’t alone.

Brett also encouraged him to apply for the No Barriers Warrior Expedition, which, over approximately four months, provides transformative programs for veterans with disabilities that shift mindsets, create belonging, and foster self-discovery. Eric applied and was accepted. That transformational trip marked the start of better days for Eric and his family. Before he left for the program, Jenn shared her Jesus Calling devotional with him. Reading a page each night, Eric felt closer to God. While hiking with other vets in New Mexico, he recalls, “Standing in the shadows of the canyon, I was struck by the persistent light at the end of the gorge. I saw my journey reflected in my surroundings, and the canyon seemed to say that no matter the darkness surrounding me, there was always light ahead. Having a love for photography, Eric snapped a picture of the Canyon which became the cover for his book, Canyon of Hope. Later, he held his first photography show and was asked to share his story and speak at a Prudential conference. From there one opportunity after another came Eric’s way helping him reach out to other veterans.

During his Warriors Expedition, Eric had a dream one night. Jesus appeared to him and let him know how much He loved Eric and would always be by his side. He explains, “I awoke to a new morning filled with an unfamiliar sense of hope and joy for the time in years. His words lingered, as a guide for the profound personal work ahead."

ADVOCATE

An advocate for veterans' rights and mental health, Eric has played a crucial role in the passage of five major pieces of legislation, including the 988 Suicide Hotline and the PACT Act. His efforts were recognized at the highest level when he was invited to the East Room of the White House to witness the PACT Act being signed into law, a testament to his significant contributions to the well-being of veterans and their families. The PACT Act addresses health issues veterans face due to exposure to toxins, ensuring that vets don’t have to fight to prove the impact of their sacrifices. 

MORAL INJURY

Another vital part of the healing journey for veterans and those around them is understanding moral injury and how it harms countless soldiers.  
Moral injury refers to the profound psychological, emotional, and spiritual distress experienced when an individual perpetrates, witnesses, or fails to prevent actions that violate their deeply held moral beliefs and values. This concept was initially observed in military personnel but has since been recognized in various high-stakes situations across different professions.

Key aspects of moral injury include:

1.    Violation of moral code: It occurs when a person's actions or inactions contradict their ethical principles.
2.    Emotional impact: Common reactions include intense feelings of guilt, shame, anger, sadness, anxiety, and disgust.
3.    Psychological consequences: It can lead to serious distress, depression, and even suicidal thoughts.
4.    Social effects: Moral injury can damage one's ability to trust others, affecting relationships and community connections.
5.    Spiritual dimension: It may cause a loss of faith in religious beliefs, humanity, or the concept of a just world.
6.    Self-perception: Individuals may view themselves as bad, damaged, or unworthy, leading to self-sabotaging behaviors.

Moral injury is distinct from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), although they may share some similarities. While PTSD is a diagnosable mental disorder, moral injury is considered a dimensional problem without a definitive threshold for its presence.
Understanding moral injury is crucial for developing appropriate support and treatment strategies for those affected, particularly in professions such as military service, healthcare, and law enforcement, where individuals may face morally challenging situations.

If you want to learn more about Eric Donoho click the LINK! 

CREDITS

Author, Canyon of Hope (Niche Pressworks, 2024); Retired US Army Sergeant (served 2006-2009); 
Awarded Purple Heart, two Army Commendation Medals, the Operation Iraqi Freedom Campaign Medal with Star, and the Combat Infantry Badge; Helped pass five pieces of legislation (Federal & State); Featured in several news outlets and media platforms: Today Show, NBC Nightly News, CNN contributor), Indianapolis Star (cover story), Baltimore Sun (op-ed), Walt Disney World Sports, Bloomberg Media; Married to Jenn w/two kids—Kayleigh and Byron.