The Surprising Key to Healing Deep Emotional Wounds

MASKING THE PAIN    

Julie Busler grew up in a Christian home in Kansas. When she was only 8 years old, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Eleven years later, her mother passed away when Julie was 19. She explains, “My grandma woke me up and said it’s time. When I got into the bedroom mom got still. It’s really shocking to watch your mom being carried out in a body bag.” Julie was responsible for picking out her mother’s outfit for the funeral. After her burial, the family carried on with life as usual and didn’t discuss their grief. When Julie returned to college, she did her best to hide the pain and none of her friends knew that her mother just passed away. 

As her despair deepened, Julie turned to God for comfort. The dichotomy of Julie’s life puzzled her. On one hand, she had joy. Her friends even nicknamed her “Joyful Julie.” On the other hand, she struggled with such sadness that at night she Googled how to end her life. 

LIFE GOES ON

Julie graduated from the University of Oklahoma where she met Ryan. After they married, Julie danced with a ballet company for a while and Ryan was an engineer. They were actively involved in church and began growing their family. As time went on, they both felt called to the ministry. On the outside, they looked like a happy family, but Julie’s sadness ran deep. Even her husband didn’t know the depths of depression Julie dealt with. 

“Depression doesn’t always present itself as someone lying in bed and crying all the time. I’m this blonde bubbly mom who’s at all the events. I hated how that felt but it was just natural to keep on going,” she explains.

At age 27, while pregnant with her third child, Julie received an email that her dad had taken his life. Devastated, Julie went about the business of burying her second parent. Realizing how hopeless her dad must have felt, Julie was determined to share the hope of Christ with others. 

In 2012, she and Ryan decided to become missionaries and moved to Turkey. While there for six years Julie ministered and served those who were suffering, even though she was still suffering herself. Weary and tired of the pain, Julie began planning her death.  

When her mother-in-law came to visit them in Turkey, Julie’s kids were so excited.  She explains, “While cognitively I knew I should feel the warmth of joy as I watched my children joyfully swarm their grandma. I felt a hollow disconnect... We were hanging out as a family, soaking in her company, when a thought popped into my mind: While my mother-in-law is here, it would be a great time to kill myself because she could help my husband get the kids home to the U.S. and my body.” 

In 2018, when Julie finally felt like she could open up to a trusted friend about her feelings, that friend encouraged her to seek help. Julie then shared her feelings with her husband, and they got her help. After talking with a psychiatrist, Julie was immediately hospitalized while in Turkey and diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They decided they needed to move back to Oklahoma for further treatment. While trying to settle back into home life, Julie felt ashamed, like a failure who let God and her family down. All of this created the perfect storm that deepened her depression. Julie had lost her will to live and was hospitalized again. 

During this time, God surrounded Julie with friends and family who loved her at her lowest. One of her friends reminded Julie that just like David in Psalm 23:4, Julie was also walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Later, a fellow patient at the hospital was walking past Julie and when her leg brushed against Julie, she said, “I will fear no evil for you are with me” also found in Psalm 23. That random patient had no idea what that meant to Julie. Finally, when it was Julie’s turn to see the doctor, who had no idea that Julie was a Christian, he asked if Julie had ever read Psalm 23. 

Julie shares, “I could not believe it! God was reminding me yet again of the beautiful truth found in this beloved Psalm. There is no place so dark, so isolated, so removed from society that God cannot reach His children still… He was restoring all of me that once wandered away. I could feel the change happening deep within.” 

THORN IN THE FLESH

While reading about the Apostle Paul’s thorn in the flesh, Julie realized that he asked God to remove it from him, not once but three times. Yet, God responded, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).  Paul’s response to this was that he would boast in his weakness so that Christ’s power might reside in him (2 Corinthians 12:8-9). When reading Paul’s writings, Julie was surprised by how candid he was about his suffering when she tried so hard to hide hers. Paul was stoned, beaten, shipwrecked, and persecuted, but counted it all joy because God used his suffering for His glory. 

Therapy paired with medication helped stabilize Julie’s symptoms, but she had to come to terms with the fact that while God could heal her, depression might remain her ‘thorn in the flesh.’ 
    
THE POWER OF LAMENT

In her new book Hopeful Sorrow, Julie talks about trauma, explores what might be hindering you, and shares practical steps on how to work through it. As a sister book to her first book, Joyful Sorrow, Julie says that Joyful Sorrow tells the story of how she finally got help, and Hopeful Sorrow shares what she learned from all the help she received. Julie also talks about the importance of lament and how it is a pathway to healing.

In the Bible, "lament" means a passionate expression of grief, sorrow, or regret, voiced through prayer to God during times of hardship or loss. Lamenting is not simply complaining; it's an honest, sometimes anguished expression of pain in God's presence, seeking comfort, understanding, or intervention. In the Bible, we find examples of lament, 

such as:

• King David lamenting Saul and Jonathan (2 Samuel 1:17–27).
• The psalmist crying, “Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord” (Psalm 130:1).
• Jesus, feeling sorrow and praying in the Garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:36).
• The Book of Lamentations, which acrostically organizes the pain and hope of Israel after exile.
We can practice Lament by:
• Turning to God and telling the Lord exactly how you feel
• Asking Him for help
• Trusting that God will come through 
 

For more information on Julie Busler, click the LINK!  

CREDITS

Author, Hopeful Sorrow (B&H Publishing Group/Lifeway Christian Resources, 2025); Oklahoma 
president of the Women’s Missionary Union from 2020-2024; Speaker; Mental health advocate; BFA 
In ballet, University of Oklahoma; married to Ryan; four children.