rich minds, rich rewards
If The People Around Me Would
Just Change!
CBN.com –Do
you find yourself frustrated by the same types of occurrences
in your life – over and over again? Perhaps it is the aggressive
people in the traffic you endure daily during your commute. Maybe
it is the behavior of someone you deal with regularly who does
not behave as you think they should. Or perhaps you do not like
where you live, your job, your looks or some other aspect of your
daily life. Your happiness does not have to be based on what happens
around you or to you. On more than one occasion, I have learned
this important lesson:
You won’t become happy if someone else changes or if the
world around you changes. You become happy when you change.
From a Greek prison cell, the apostle Paul wrote, “I have
learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,”
(Philippians 4:12). This week, I challenge you to choose happiness
despite what happens around you. It is not what happens to you
or what goes on around you that ultimately shapes your character
and state of being. It is how you choose to respond to it. Things
or people around you may be frustrating, but is your response
to it making it more stressful or less stressful for you? Here
are a few of the ways that you can make frustrating circumstances
more stressful:
- Regularly complaining about your circumstances. Some people
complain to anyone who will listen. Others complain repeatedly
to themselves or the person closest to them. Make a decision to
stop complaining. Find a solution or accept the situation as is.
- Always expecting the worst in people. Do you feel like the
world is against you? If so, you’ll respond to every situation
in fear rather than love, thereby escalating the intensity of
any potential conflict and its impact on your emotional state
of being.
- Taking it personally when strangers are rude or inconsiderate.
Have you noticed lately that people in general seem to be stressed
and less considerate of others than they used to be? It has nothing
to do with you. People have issues. So choose not to respond as
though you are being personally attacked. If you do, you’ll
find yourself in victim mode nearly every time you leave your
house!
- Blaming others for your unhappiness. “If only my spouse/kids/boss/friends
would change, I would be happy.” Do you ever find yourself
saying something like this to yourself? Blaming others gives us
an excuse not to take responsibility for our own happiness. Don't
give your power away to others.
- Feeling sorry for yourself. “Why me? Why am I the one
who has to deal with this? Everybody else’s life is better.”
The truth is, everyone has to deal with something. Ask, "What's
the lesson here? How can I come out of this a better person?"
Choose to allow challenges to strengthen your faith rather than
diminish it.
So how can you change when the world around you remains the same?
You make a decision to do so. The key is to respond rather than
react. A reaction is automatic. It doesn’t require thought
and is generated by external happenings. A response is inspired
– generated internally through thought, contemplation and
prayer. It means that despite the external happenings, you choose
to answer button-pushing situations in a way that honors your
desire for peace and happiness in your life.
Your decision to change does not mean that rude people are right
or that frustrating friends or family members are not to be accountable
for their words and actions. It simply means that your happiness
and peace are not determined by what they do. Don’t wait
in vain for others to change or the world around you to change.
You make the change.
My challenge to you this week:
Identify one change you can make that will allow you to experience
contentment in a situation that upsets you. Let go of your attachment
to the idea that someone or something must change in order for
you to be happy. You make a decision to change.
Journaling assignment:
By insisting something around you needs to change, what have you
been able to avoid? (For example, taking responsibility for your
own happiness, having a difficult conversation, etc.). How and
when will face the fear that has caused you to avoid what needs
to be addressed?
A sought-after life coach and speaker, Valorie Burton seeks to inspire people to live more fulfilling, less stressful lives. She is the author of Listen to Your Life, What’s Really Holding You Back?, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, and her latest, Why Not You? 28 Days to Authentic Confidence.
CBN IS HERE FOR YOU!
Are you seeking answers in life? Are you hurting?
Are you facing a difficult situation?
A caring friend will be there to pray with you in your time of need.
|