She Had No Where Else to Turn, So She Decided to Turn to Jesus

For much of her childhood, Amanda Kinchlow struggled with instability, rejection, and the feeling that she had nowhere to belong. Her mother battled addiction, and when Amanda was just 11 years old, she and her sister were placed in foster care.

Although entering foster care was traumatic, one moment in particular left a lasting mark on Amanda. During a court hearing, a judge asked her mother if she wanted her children back. Her response was devastating.

“The judge said, ‘Well, do you even want your children back?’ And she said, ‘Take them.’ So, to hear her say that, you know, to take them was probably the deepest rejection I think I've felt,” Amanda recalled.

Those words stayed with her for years. Between the ages of 11 and 16, Amanda moved through 13 foster homes and one group home, never finding the stability or sense of belonging she desperately wanted.

“I just felt like I didn't belong. I felt more displaced than anything,” she said. “I thought to myself, ‘I just don't want to be here anymore.’”

At just 14 years old, the weight of her circumstances became so overwhelming that she began questioning whether life was worth living.

Throughout her childhood, Amanda had heard about God and prayed for a family, stability, and a place to call home. But as her circumstances remained unchanged, she grew frustrated and began to believe she wasn't worthy of God's love either.

“You almost start to feel like you've done something wrong,” she explained. “And so that's kind of what I took on, was that identity of not being good enough, you know, almost being damaged goods.”

At 17, Amanda moved out on her own. Before long, she found herself pregnant, without stable housing, and preparing for motherhood with little support. She hoped to build a better life for herself and her daughter, but soon realized she was facing many of the same struggles she had experienced growing up.

“My mom had kids and had no clue on how to be a parent. And here I am, having a baby with no clue on how to be a parent, no family, no support,” Amanda said.

For months, she lived in her car while trying to make ends meet. Eventually, she agreed to let her daughter's father and his family care for the child while she attended college and worked toward building a more stable future. Amanda expected the arrangement to be temporary. Instead, she lost contact with her daughter.

“I felt like, in that moment, the one thing that I felt like I was making all these changes for in life and trying to become a better person had been taken away from me,” she recalled. “I was hopeless at that point.”

Feeling alone and overwhelmed, Amanda turned to alcohol and drugs in an attempt to escape her pain. At one point, while attending a party, she attempted suicide through alcohol poisoning.

“I remember waking up in the hospital feeling frustrated because it didn't work,” she said. “Why do I have to keep going through this? Like, why do I have to keep living this life?”

Despite everything she had endured, Amanda continued trying to move forward. She pursued her education and began a new relationship. For a time, it seemed her life was finally moving in a better direction. But after discovering she was pregnant again, the relationship took a dark turn. The man she was dating became abusive.

Amanda felt trapped, believing she had to endure the mistreatment to keep her life from falling apart again.

She eventually found herself raising her child as a single mother, with little support and no clear path forward. Once again, she felt she had reached rock bottom.

Then, one day on her way to work, a gospel song came on the radio. Despite years of feeling rejected by God, Amanda found herself crying out to Him for help.

“God, I'm tired. I keep trying to do this my way, and it's not working. And I can't do it without You. I need You,” she prayed.

That moment marked a turning point in Amanda's life. After surrendering to God, she began to see things change. She left her abusive relationship, found a job that allowed her to provide for herself and her son, and began attending church.

Looking back, Amanda says God had never abandoned her, even during the darkest moments of her life.

“Things that I thought were the worst things that were happening in my life, the worst treatment, that God had abandoned me — knowing that He was there every moment, and that He wastes nothing — my outlook on life started to change,” she said.

In 2018, Amanda met Caleb, and the two eventually married, beginning a new chapter together. Just a few months later, she was also able to reconnect with her daughter.

“It was amazing because God just... He did what only He could do,” Amanda said.

Today, Amanda has the family she prayed for as a little girl. More importantly, she has found a new identity in knowing she is loved by God.

Her journey has taught her that even when life doesn't unfold the way we hope, God remains faithful. She encourages others who may be facing rejection, heartbreak, or difficult circumstances to keep trusting Him.

“God is faithful. He does hear you. He's not abandoning you. He is there with you, even in the worst of situations,” Amanda said. “And even though He doesn't move at the speed in which you want Him to, or how you want Him to, He does move on your behalf, and He does love you.”