Staying Strong by Staying Connected

Stay Connected: Building the Relationships That Help You Thrive

We are created for connection. In fact, one of the longest‑running studies on human happiness conducted by researchers at Harvard University found that people with strong, healthy relationships live longer, happier, and more satisfying lives than those without them. Relationships are not optional. They are essential to enjoying the life you were created to enjoy.

So, if you want to thrive, you must connect. According to best‑selling author and clinical psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, those connections don’t happen by accident. They’re built intentionally, piece by piece like a puzzle forming a beautiful picture.

Here’s How to Start Building the Relationships God Designed for You
For over forty years, Dr. Henry Cloud has dedicated his life to understanding what makes relationships work. Through his best‑selling book, Boundaries, his popular “Boundaries.me” platform, and his YouTube channel, he has helped millions grow and develop deeper connections. We often think relationships are “nice to have.” But Dr. Cloud explains they are far more than that:

“Just like you need air, water, and food,you must have connection.”
The love and support we receive from others actually fuels us. 

Connection strengthens our emotional and even physical well‑being. It’s part of how God wired the human heart. So, the big question is how do we start enjoying better relationships?
Start with Yourself

Healthy relationships always begin with a healthy you. Ask yourself a couple of questions. Are there areas in my life that still need healing? Have past hurts made me fearful of opening up? Am I able to face my own fears, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses?  Dr. Cloud says that if we can’t access our own emotions, fears, or struggles, we’ll struggle to develop empathy for others. And empathy is the heartbeat of meaningful relationships.

If the wounds run deep, don’t hesitate to seek help from a trusted Christian counselor. Healing prepares you to become the kind of friend you would want in your own life.

Develop Lifegiving Relational Skills

Once you begin working on your own emotional health, the next step is to cultivate the skills that help relationships grow. Dr. Cloud offers a simple but powerful principle: “Listen at least 51% of the time.”

Relationships thrive when we listen more than we talk. When your life becomes about adding value to others and not just getting your own needs, people walk away feeling loved and supported. It’s one of the clearest marks of a true friendship. This practice of listening and putting others first will lead to our own emotional and mental well-being. We grow stronger when we grow in with the help of others around us.

Build Relationships slowly

You don’t build deep friendships overnight. Strong relationships grow gradually, "little by little, "as trust develops. Dr. Cloud compares relationships to someone coming to our home. At first, someone is just at the front door of your life. Over time, they may be welcomed into the foyer, then deeper into the house. As trust builds, you open the doors to deeper parts of yourself. But not everyone should be allowed full access. That’s where boundaries come in.

Set Healthy Boundaries-Not Walls

Many people confuse boundaries with walls, but Dr. Cloud draws a clear line between the two. He shares that “every fence has a gate.” A boundary defines where you end, and someone else begins. It protects your heart from harmful or unsafe people, but it also allows healthy relationships to flourish. Boundaries are not about shutting people out. They’re about letting the right people in.
Watch for Red Flags

Relationships can be risky. That’s why discernment is crucial. If something feels “off,” pause and ask, "Is this someone I feel safe with?” A major red flag is when a relationship violates your personal freedoms, especially your ability to say no. Healthy relationships don’t demand control or compliance.

Trust is another area where relationships can break down. While forgiveness is a biblical command, trust must be rebuilt slowly. Here’s a breakdown of what the restoration process could look like:

Forgiveness means releasing the hurt.

Reconciliation requires both people to acknowledge the wrong and work to repair it.

Trust requires a proven track record of changed behavior over time.
Not everyone should be trusted immediately after reconciliation and that’s okay.

We all need strong and healthy relationships to thrive. Remember that in order to have the relationships that we need, we need to offer support and encouragement to others. The Bible reminds us in Ecclesiastes that “Two are Better than one.” So, start today and be the friend that someone else needs.

Don’t miss your chance to get a free booklet and start your health journey today! Plus, check out the Ageless Living videos for more helpful insights.