- [Narrator] Daneen Finnhas always sought peace

by the water but

her life story is one with little peace

and much pain.

- I just felt like it wasn't gonna stop.

I couldn't take it anymore.

And that's when I sliced my wrist.

- [Narrator] The motivationcame from years of abuse.

Daneen was only fivewhen her father started

beating and raping her and her sisters.

His threats kept them silent.

- I remember just getting up and

going in the tub and

trying to wash that dirty feelingoff and just scrubbing til

you know, my skin was bleeding.

- [Narrator] For years, Daneenthought her hellish life

was normal.

But at 11 years old, when shesaw how her friends' family

treated one another, sherealized just how broken her life

really was.

- Panic attacks, anxiety, depression,

no self worth.

Very lost and no clue who I was.

- [Narrator] Followingher suicide attempt,

Child Protective Servicesput Daneen and her sisters

into foster care.

During her five years inthe system, she met a family

that were Christians andthey told her about God.

- I would think about God but I'd get mad.

How can you

be God and let this happen to me?

- [Narrator] Once she agedout of the system at 16,

Daneen was on her own.

By 21, she had two childrenand was married to a man

who had also been abused.

While their common bondbrought them together,

it also tore their lives apart.

- The beatings were so bad, broken ribs,

broken cheekbone,hemorrhaging in the brain,

I had no self worth.

Really was convincedthat's what I deserved.

- [Narrator] Her husbandalso abused cocaine

and eventually, so did she.

- For the first time,

it stopped.

All the pain stopped.

I instantly hated myself,disrespected myself

but it was a new way toget the pain to stop.

- [Narrator] After 11years, they divorced.

But Daneen was left withtwo children to raise

and a growing dependency on cocaine.

- When I couldn't handle life, what

I had been through, andwho I was because of it,

I just numbed it.

- [Narrator] Over the nextdecade, Daneen gave her best

as a mother, suffered throughanother abusive relationship,

and continued to treather demons with cocaine.

Then one day in 2009, Daneenfelt she could take the pain

no longer.

- Just hating myself and thinking,

"If this is life, I want out.

"My kids are better off if I die."

I had the whole bottle of Valium.

I was curled up in a fetal position

on my bedroom floor and just said,

"God, if you don't help me,

"I will take my life."

(phone ringing)

And my phone kept ringing.

It was my mother and

I didn't wanna answer it.

I had the whole bottle of pills in my hand

and the phone, right here,

ringing, ringing.

Then finally, I'm like,

"What?"

She's like,

"What's wrong?"

Like she knew.

I just dropped the pillsall over the bed and I

laid in a fetal positioncrying out to God.

- [Narrator] Daneen'sdesire to use was gone

the next morning,

but she still had the heartof a hurting young girl.

- I didn't know how to change my life.

I didn't have a clue what was healthy,

what love was.

I just wanted to be loved,that's all I wanted.

- [Narrator] One day, Daneen found a card

a friend had given her.

It was an invitation to church.

- I'd wanted to know something normal,

something healthy and I figuredmaybe I'd find it there.

I'm like,

"Oh, I think I'll go check it out."

- [Narrator] A reluctant visit turned into

regular attendance andshe even got connected

with the women's group at the church.

- They were like,

"We're gonna love youtil you love yourself,"

and they did.

They actually taught me how

to live again.

- [Narrator] But itwasn't until years later

at an altar call thatDaneen finally understood

and accepted the truth of God's love.

- And I lost it.

I just cried outwardly in church.

And then I said it wholeheartedly.

Just asking God to

just

come into my life.

- [Narrator] Not longafter, she was baptized.

- I loved that fact thatwe were getting baptized

in a river.

Just made it seem more Godly.

Like, you know, what Jesus did.

So it was pretty powerful.

I had written all my

pain and just fears, everything

on a little note,

and then I held it in my hand and

the pastor prayed and whenI came out of the water,

I felt like a new person, you know?

And mmmm.

It was amazing

to feel new.

- [Narrator] Through continuedgrowth and healthy community,

counseling, and Bible study,

Daneen's abuse-riddenstory finally has peace.

- I can finally say that I like me.

(laughs)

I know Jesus loves me because

the world has tried totake me out so many times.

He ain't letting me go anywhere.

He has saved my life, he has

shown me that I amworthy and I am loved and

he loves me just the way I am.

(mellow piano music)