(dramatic music)

- I had just fed himand it was like an hour

and I jumped up and I'm like,

"Oh my God, he's not breathing!"

- [Narrator] Theresa Rosenthal's twin sons

were just 10 weeks oldwhen one of them, Tristan,

died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Her desperate pleas toGod seemed to be ignored.

- I was begging Him to lethim live and he didn't live.

- [Narrator] A couple months later,

Theresa was in her backyard warming herself

by a fire pit when the paincompletely engulfed her.

- Why am I sitting here doingall this suffering in life?

I poured gas all over me and was fixin'

to step into the fire.

- [Narrator] But it wasmore than losing her son

that sent Theresa over the edge.

She'd already endured a lifetime of abuse,

starting with her alcoholic dad.

- I just wanted to beable to love my father

and not be scared of him.

He would spank you harder than you needed

and just no reason.

He would beat my mothersometimes and it's like,

you didn't wanna hear it.

But you had to hear to makesure that she was okay.

My father would switch frombeing happy to being mean

and abusive and that's howI perceived how God was.

- [Narrator] Then, therewas the baby sitter.

For six months, he molestedTheresa each time he came.

She was just five.

- He would say that he was doing that

because I was being bad and he knew I

was scared of my father.

Your father's gonna beat you,

your mother's not gonna love you.

- [Narrator] Noticing achange in her daughter,

Theresa's mom asked ifsomething was wrong.

But the five-year old wasparalyzed by fear and said, "No."

- Inside, I was screaming for help.

Make him stop, somebody help me.

But it never came out.

The main thing thatstuck was I was being bad

and it was my fault.

And I started believing it.

- [Narrator] Her mom figuredsomething was going on

and stopped using the sitter.

A few years later, Theresa'sdad died and she was left

to grow up with the ugly scars of abuse.

At 12, she found alcoholhelped with the pain.

- Oh man, I was just shut down.

I was isolated, emotionally.

I was messed up and I just withdrew.

Before I was even 21, I wasout drinking in the bars

and drinking quite regularly.

- [Narrator] Hoping aloving family of her own

would fix everything,Theresa married at 20.

But she was too emotionallyfragile to allow anyone

to love or even touch her.

- I didn't know how tobe in a relationship.

I felt guilty and ashamed.

- [Narrator] Two yearsin, Theresa gave birth

to their daughter, but herhusband soon left them.

For years, she would fall deeper

into depression and alcoholism.

At 30, she and a boyfriend had the twins.

And that's when Tristan died of SIDS.

Theresa doused herself withgas and planned to end it all.

Her eight-year old daughterwalked out in time to stop her.

- I believed that God waspunishing me for the sexual abuse

that happened as I was a child.

What am I even here for?

Nobody can love me.

- [Narrator] In the coming years,

the only things keeping hergoing were her two kids,

alcohol, and later, drugs.

She landed in jail severaltimes on DUI charges.

During her last stint,

she met some women from a jail ministry.

- They would play some Jesussongs before they bring a word.

I'm not really understandingwhat they're saying,

but they sparked myinterest and I just believe

it was God making a way.

- [Narrator] Still, Theresakept them at arm's length.

That is, until she got outand found her house vandalized

and her car impounded.

With no one to turn to,

she called the ministry asking for help.

Two ladies came to comfort Theresa

and invited her to church.

- I never, ever felt a feeling like

that every before in my life.

It was so powerful and peaceful.

He was preaching on Joseph.

I guess I seen everythingthat Joseph went through.

I think, for the first timein my life, I had some hope.

When he got done, I justwent up to the alter

and the pastor prayed with me

and I gave my heart to the Lord.

It just brought somethingthat I had never felt.

I didn't wanna drink or do drugs.

I remember, when I went tothat first church service,

I had no desire, Ididn't have withdrawals.

- [Narrator] As Theresabegan to trust God,

she opened up about herpast to a therapy group

and discovered God's love for her.

- She said, "God said Hehas been trying to love you

"for such a long, long time,if you will open that wall down

"and let Him in, He willpour more love on you

"than all the love thatyou've missed out on."

That's when He pulled outthe abuse and just started

walking me through that healing process.

That session opened me up where I believed

that God was real and that He loved me.

The shame and all that,

I think I was healed ofthat, pretty quickly.

- [Narrator] In time, shealso forgave her father

and her abuser.

- Asking God from my heart to forgive him

and let him turn to Him andtouch Him like He touched me.

That forgiveness is the key to it all.

- [Narrator] Theresa nowhelps other women to heal

from their traumas, focusingon where she found genuine,

lasting love.

- Reading the Bible, reading the Bible,

I seen God was love and as a follower,

God didn't cause that to happen.

Jesus, He died for me 'cause He loves me

and He set me free.

I'm nothing without Him andI love Him with all my heart.

(gentle music)