WHEN CASEY VAN NORMAN WAS

13, HER PARENTS DIVORCED.

AS A CHILD, NOT HAVING MY

FATHER PRESENT, JUST THAT

QUESTION OF WHY WAS I NOT

ENOUGH, YOU KNOW?

SO 13, 14, 15, I REALLY

WRESTLED WITH THIS FEELING

OF INSECURITY AND ONE

WORTHINESS.

Reporter: THOSE

FEELINGS WOULD ONLY GET

WORSE.

TRACY BECAME A CHRISTIAN,

AND AT 15 SHE MADE A PROMISE

TO GOD TO SAVE HERSELF FOR

MARRIAGE.

A FEW MONTHS LATER, SHE WAS

RAPED BY AN OLDER MAN.

WHAT I REALLY FELT IN

THAT MOMENT WAS THAT I HAD

KEPT MY PROMISE, BUT GOD HAD

NOT KEPT HIS.

AND HE HAD FAILED ME.

AND SO I JUST DECIDED THAT

IF THAT'S WHAT HE WAS GOING

TO DO TO ME, THEN WATCH WHAT

I WAS ABOUT TO DO TO HIM.

Reporter: SOON CASEY

WAS TAKING DRUGS AND HAVING

SEX.

SHE ALSO STARTED CUTTING AND

BECAME BULEMIC.

I USED EVERY BAND-AID YOU

COULD THINK ABOUT, SEX,

ALCOHOL, DRUGS, POPULARITY.

Reporter: AFTER YEARS

OF STRUGGLING, CASEY

RECOMMITTED HER LIFE TO

CHRIST.

SHE MET AND MARRIED JUSTIN

AND HAD TWO CHILDREN.

BUT SHE HADN'T LEARNED TO

ACCEPT GOD'S GIFT OF LOVE.

I WANTED TO WORK FOR

HIM.

I WANTED TO EARN THAT LOVE.

AS LONG AS I COULD STAY BUSY

IN THE THINGS OF GOD,

EVERYBODY WOULD THINK I WAS

OF GOD.

Reporter: AS MUCH AS

SHE TRIED, SHE COULDN'T GET

RID OF THE FEELINGS OF

INSECURITY AND UNWORTHINESS,

AND SOON RETURNED TO OLD

HABITS.

DURING THE DAY I WOULD

LIVE WHAT LOOKED TO BE THIS

VERY RIGHTEOUS, MORAL LIFE,

AND AT NIGHT I WOULD BE A

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

PERSON.

CUTTING MY ARMS JUST TO

EXPERIENCE ONE MOMENT OF

POWER.

STICKING MY FINGER DOWN MY

THROAT.

Reporter: JUSTIN ADMITS

SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS

HAPPENING TO HIS WIFE.

I WAS BUSY PROVIDING FOR

OUR FAMILY, TRYING TO EARN A

GOOD LIVING.

WE WERE TEACHING SUNDAY

SCHOOL AND DOING THINGS AT

THE CHURCH.

I BASICALLY STOPPED BEING

ROM MAS ROMANTIC WITH

CASEY.

Reporter: BUT A FELLOW

CHURCH MEMBER WAS READY TO

GIVE CASEY ALL OF THE

ATTENTION SHE WANTED.

ANOTHER MAN BEGAN TO

PURSUE ME.

BEGAN TO NOTICE THINGS THAT

JUSTIN DIDN'T SEEM TO

NOTICE, AND I RESPONDED.

Reporter: IT WAS THE

BEGINNING OF A

THREE-YEAR-LONG AFFAIR.

EVENTUALLY JUSTIN DISCOVERED

IT.

WHILE IT WAS HARD, JUSTIN

FORGAVE HIS WIFE.

IN THAT MOMENT, IT ALL

BEGAN VERY CLEAR TO ME THAT

I WAS AS MUCH AT FAULT IN

LETTING THE BOUNDARIES AND

GUARD DOWN THAT WE SHOULD

HAVE HAD WITH OUR MARRIAGE

BUT DIDN'T.

Reporter: BUT CASEY WAS

OVERCOME WITH GUILT.

I WAS SO DISGUSTED WITH

MYSELF.

I REALLY BELIEVED THAT MY

FAMILY AND MY HUSBAND WOULD

BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME.

I POPPED A BOTTLE OF XANAX

AND A WHOLE THING OF ALCOHOL

AND PRAYED TO END IT.

Reporter: AT THAT

MOMENT, A CLOSE FRIEND

HAPPENED TO BE OUT RUNNING

ERRANDS.

HE PUT IT ON MY FRIEND'S

HEART TO URGENTLY GET TO

CASEY'S HOUSE.

THE HOUSE WAS NOT LOCKED.

I WAS THERE, AND I WAS

PASSED OUT.

I KNOW IF I STAYED IN THAT

WAY FOR ANY AMOUNT LONGER,

MY HEART WOULD HAVE

STOPPED.

GOD USED HER AS A VESSEL TO

SAVE MY LIFE.

Reporter: AS SHE

RECOVERED PHYSICALLY AND

EMOTIONALLY, JUSTIN WAS

THERE BY HER SIDE.

CASEY SAID HIS RESPONSE

HELPED HER TO FINALLY

UNDERSTAND GOD'S LOVE.

I HAD BEEN A CHRISTIAN

ALL THAT TIME, AND I DIDN'T

FULLY GRASP GRACE.

AND FOR HIM TO LOOK AT ME

AND SAY, CASEY, I DON'T KNOW

HOW TO NOT LOVE YOU.

THIS WAS THE SPIRIT OF GOD

IN HIM OFFERING ME

FORGIVENESS AND GRACE SO

THAT I WOULD EXPERIENCE

GRACE.

AND NOW I GET TO GO AND TELL

EVERYONE THIS STORY, THAT

GOD IS SAYING THESE WORDS TO

YOU, WHICH IS, I DON'T KNOW

HOW TO NOT LOVE YOU.

Reporter: CASEY SAYS

SHE STOPPED CUTTING AND WAS

ALSO FREE FROM HER STRUGGLE

WITH BULEMIA.

SHE ANDç JUSTIN THEN BEGANç

RESTORING THEIR MARRIAGE.

WE BEGAN TO WEED OUT

CERTAIN RELATIONSHIPS, PLACE

HIGHER BOUNDARIES IN OUR

MARRIAGE, AND THEN

COMMUNICATE.

WE SHARE OUR HEARTS WITH

ONE ANOTHER LIKE WE NEVER

HAVE BEFORE.

INTIMACY IS WAY STRONGER NOW

THAN IT EVER WAS.

WHEN YOU LOOK AT A

MARRIAGE, IT IS THE ONE

THING ON PLANET EARTH THAT

GOD HAS GIVEN US TO LOOK AT

AND SAY, THIS IS HOW I LOVE

MY CHURCH.

Reporter: CASEY AND

JUSTIN NOW WORK AT A RANCH

IN TEXAS THAT HOUSES WOMEN

WHO HAVE BEEN SAVED FROM SEX

TRAFFICKING.

AND CASEY IS A PUBLISHED

AUTHOR AND A FEATURED

SPEAKER AT WOMEN'S

CONFERENCES.

SHE SHARES HER STORY SO THAT

OTHERS MIGHT EXPERIENCE THE

GIFT OF GOD'S LOVE.

HE IS IN CONTROL OF EVERY

MOMENT.

HE IS THE AUTHOR OF OUR

LIVES.

WHEN YOU BEGIN TO EXPERIENCE

HIM ON THAT LEVEL,

EVERYTHING CHANGES.

IT IS SO EMPOWERING.

IT SETS US FREE TO TRULY

LIVE.