What to Remember When You Feel Invisible

GLOBE TROTTING TO PREVENT SUICIDE

Dean Sikes has logged more aerial miles in his lifetime than some commercial pilots. He loves to see beautiful vistas and feel a smooth tail wind. And he experiences them directly from the cockpit. He’s been flying his own plane for over twenty years. He is not a rich entrepreneur jet-setting to exotic locales for pleasure or business. He is a passionate minister committed to stem the tidal wave of teen suicide. There are a staggering 5,600 attempts daily and suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers. What could lead a teenager to the brink of self-destruction? Dean knows. Several decades ago, he almost became a suicide statistic himself.

ADOLESCENSE, A GAPING WOUND WITHIN THAT FESTERED

When Dean was seven years old, an associate pastor from a nearby church visited his home. “He asked me some questions, and I had a few questions for him. I prayed with him that day to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I had a fear of telling anyone I was a Christian, but for the next eight years, I faithfully attended church and surrounded myself with Christian friends.” 
At 15 years old, Dean said there was an incident that changed the trajectory of his life forever. While visiting in a “Christian” friend’s home, Dean says he was sexually molested. Then, the “friend” led Dean downstairs to play ping pong. “I never saw it coming and I never told anyone what happened.” At a church service later that night, “I had this unimaginable guilt grab me.” As other powerful emotions surfaced, Dean shoved them down. “I buried the real me that day. I began to live this life that was plastic, and I created a new image as an athlete and girl chaser, an athlete so filled with fear that he wouldn’t dress out in the locker room and eventually, failed gym class. I began to lie about everything. Lying was my drug of choice. I lied so much that you had to catch me telling the truth.” He says he was lying to keep the new image intact and not expose the shattered teenager underneath. He did not fully understand the consequences of keeping his “secret.”   He didn’t know that it would make him sick inside. He didn’t know that loving words from just one person could have started the healing process. 

The charade Dean lived eventually excluded God too. Church going became just a show, prayer was non-existent. At 21, he was jet-setting around the world as a successful real estate developer. “I had everything, but I was miserable and empty.” Eventually, he became so miserable he fell to his knees and screamed at God to prove that He was real. Dean says, “Don’t ever ask God, the Creator of the universe, to prove to you that He is real unless you are ready for an encounter of the first kind.” In the next several weeks, Dean says, there were astounding incidents that were clearly divinely orchestrated. The condensed version is, in his real estate office, he heard two words, “Call Mom.” He rushed to find her in the midst of a suicide attempt. He was told by the hospital staff she would surely die. Hours later, a puzzled doctor approached the family saying, “Your mother will surely live.” He called her survival a miracle. “I looked straight up to heaven, You have to be kidding, You are real. I had a powerful encounter with Jesus.” Dean knew that it would not be the last. 

THE ENCOUNTER ALTERED DEAN’S FLIGHT PATH FOREVER

In the weeks and months that followed, Dean grew closer to God as he resumed his prayers and returned to church. He was soon married with a baby on the way. Yet, he still had a secret. It was like a ticking bomb, and Dean says he knew detonation was inevitable. The trigger was an unexpected encounter at a Home Depot store. Seven years after the sexual attack that stole Dan’s innocence and identity, he crossed directly into the path of his abuser. There were no words. “My world unraveled.” When Dean arrived back home, his ghostly expression alarmed his wife. She became the first person he ever told his secret. “She looked at me with tear filled eyes and a heart of compassion. She said, “We’ve got to get you some help.” Dean began long term counseling and was able to forgive the abuser. Then, he says he knew exactly what the Lord was calling him to do. To seek and find other teenagers with secrets, secrets that are killing them. The Lord said, “There are generations of hurting teenagers that I am calling you to reach for Me.” Dean knew he had to find these teenagers and tell them that they matter. “God would soon lead me on a global journey, a journey to eradicate hopelessness because hopelessness gives birth to self-destruction.”

A MINISTRY TAKES FLIGHT – HOPE IN IT’S WINGS

“Millions of young people feel they are unheard and unseen, and they feel they are worthless. By default, hopelessness is ever present. Dean’s message to them is, “You matter; first and foremost, to God. You may have a caring family and friends. But your value and worth come from God.” For over thirty years, Dean, and his staff at “You Matter” ministries have been walking, driving, and flying all over the world to mount a powerful counter offensive against hopelessness and suicide. There are reports they are making progress in this formidable battle between life and death. Dean humbly reports that his ministry has reached 2.6 million students at live events.

“And we know for a fact that 158,000 suicides have been stopped.” He will never forget the handsome quarterback who approached him after a meeting. He said, “You told me my life matters, but let me tell you my story. I am the high school quarterback. I have to keep a perfect GPA. I am preparing for the state championship. I have lots of friends I can’t disappoint.” Then, he grabbed Dean’s arm and said with tears, “No one knows the internal pressure to perform that I live with every day.”  Dan lovingly explained  that his accomplish-ments didn’t determine his life’s value. “You matter because God created you and loves you. Then, the young man reached in his pocket and pulled out a bullet for a twelve-gauge shotgun and said, “Will you keep this for me? At 3:15 today I was going to the 50-yard line and end my life. But I have heard the words you have spoken, and I have changed my mind.” 

Dean concludes, “We live in a world that is full of evil. There’s an ongoing war for the life of every person today. It is urgent to tell them that they matter. We must let them know that Jesus will go out of His way to come to you, even if you can’t get to Him, and He will speak peace to your storm. He will tell you that you were created for a purpose, and that you are loved and you matter.”

To learn more about Dean Sikes click the LINK! 

To learn more about his ministry, You Matter, or to get involved, click the LINK! 

CREDITS

Author of 23 books, latest, You Matter: Finding Hope and Meaning in Everyday Life (Fedd Books); Founder, “You Matter” a ministry and broadcast dedicated to the eradication of teen suicide: Global speaker to churches, schools, prisons, and youth groups, including, Teen Challenge; Studied at the University of Tennessee; lives in Chattanooga with wife Lori and their three children.