Years of Pain Couldn't Hold Her After This 

“I had seen him do what looked like magic and have powers,” recalls Nichole.  “So, when he told me he could read my mind, I believed him. And he told me that even when I went back home to my mom, if I even thought bad thoughts about him, he would know and he would kill me and/or my mom. I can remember rocking and thinking, don't think bad thoughts. Don't think bad thoughts. Like I conditioned myself to not feel and not think.”
Nichole Henson’s childhood was a paradox. During the school year she lived a normal life with her mom and stepdad. However, the summer months with her biological father, were marked by violence, occultism, and abuse.

She remembers, “He was into witchcraft, Satanism, worshiping the devil, doing rituals, black magic, crystals, blood rituals. I was just terrified. I didn't want to go, but I couldn't tell anybody.” 
The adjustment between the contrary worlds created trauma in her mind and body.  Insecurity, severe anxiety, and even physical self-harm quickly began to manifest. 

Nichole state, “I had just been sexually abused for three months. I had been exposed to the occult for three months. And so, coming back into a regular home, I didn't know how to be taken from one extreme to the other. And so, I always had erratic behaviors. I would tear up my toys, I would cry, I would be chronically sick, bang my head on the wall, pull my hair. I had suicidal ideation.” 

Beyond the physical abuse, Nichole faced a spiritual darkness she couldn’t escape. Peace was nowhere to be found.

“I could hear voices calling my name, saying really nasty things to me. I would see things. I would see shadows walking through my room. I would hear scratching on my doors, my walls. I always thought it’s ghost, and everywhere I go I’m just haunted by them,” states Nichole     

By 14 Nichole was sexually active, drawn to older men she hoped would give her security.
She married at sixteen and soon after became a mother. Now she found herself trapped in an abusive marriage, conditioned to stay silent. 

She reflects, “I felt worthless. He would tell me that nobody could love me. And I would agree. You're right. Who could love me? I'm a mess. I felt if they really knew me, that nobody would want me in their life. And so I continued hiding. Hiding who I was, what I felt.”

A short time later her mom and stepdad became Christians and invited Nichole to church.  At eighteen, she gave her life to Jesus, yet she struggled to fully trust God.

“I could hear the voice of God. I felt his presence. I knew he was with me. I knew I had salvation; I was going to heaven,” says Nichole, “but the depression didn't change at all. The PTSD didn't get better, the anxiety didn't get better, the nightmares didn't get better. Seeing demons, hearing demons being physically attacked by them at times, none of that got better.”    

After six years of abuse Nichole’s marriage ended in 2001. The following year she met her second husband, Ron. Once again, she hoped this relationship would bring a fresh start - yet Nichole’s self-image still blocked her walk with God, and her healing.

She thinks back, “I always prayed, God, what's wrong with me? Why am I not healed? Why am I not functioning? Why am I still so depressed like God? Do you not love me? Am I so bad that you can't even heal me? That that I'm unworthy of even you? You helping? And so it was always looking at me as something was so innately wrong with me that even God himself couldn't heal me because I was too bad.”

Then in May 2020, a sermon on deliverance awakened something new in Nichole: her struggle was not just mental—it was spiritual. 

“So the Lord told me to set aside a week for prayer and fasting for my freedom, I didn't know what that was going to look like. But then the Lord said, call and have your parents come over to pray for you in person, because they lived two hours away. And then just a little bit later, my mom contacted me and she said, your dad feels like we need to come in person and pray for you during that week of prayer and fasting. And I said, okay, yeah, the Lord said the same thing to me,” said Nichole.

Her mom and step-dad arrived and started intensely praying for Nichole to be delivered from her demonic oppression.

She remembers, “We knew that they were leaving because it was almost like they were lining up one by one. And as he would command one to leave, I would feel the emotions of that one come over me and then I would feel that release. And it took four and a half  hours. And on the other side of that, I had zero mental illness. Not one symptom since May 24th of 2020.”

For the first time in her life, her mind was completely silent. The torment lifted, and her physical pain vanished.
Nichole smiles, “I learned that I had been viewing God through the lens of the abuse. I had been looking at him through lens of hurt and pain and trauma. I learned in that moment. He shattered that, and I could view him through the lens of his word so that when the Bible says he's a good father, I can stand by faith and know that he's a good father, because that's the truth. And I can view life and hard heartache and trauma through the lens of God's Word now, because he shifted the whole paradigm and it changed everything. I can trust him. I never trusted him before.” 

Today, Nichole’s life is no longer shaped by her abusive past instead she lives by the truth of God’s love.  “I have relationships now that were broken before. I have a marriage. I have a relationship with my, my son. I'm able to be in my grandkid’s lives. If I was who I was before, I wouldn't have been in their life. I would not have been invited.” She continues, “My life is not anything like it used to be. God uses me in ministry. I'm meeting people from all over the world. I'm doing ministry. I'm writing books. I'm teaching. My life - has completely and totally changed, and it's all because of God. And so I'm grateful and I'm thankful this life is blessed. I can say that, even when I walk through difficult seasons, my life is blessed now. And I live under his sunshine and not under a cloud. And that means everything.”

Story lead courtesy of Victory Embraced Ministries and Truth, Talk and Testimonies Podcast; spreading the message of hope, faith, encouragement, and the gospel: https://www.victoryembracedministries.org/; https://www.youtube.com/@VictoryEmbraced888.