Author Ryan Bomberger Reveals Reality of Being Adopted, Struggling, And God

OVERVIEW   

Should Have Been Aborted is Ryan Bomberger's deeply personal autobiography and cultural commentary. The book tells the story of a man who was conceived through rape, placed for adoption, and raised in a loving, multi-cultural Christian family. Throughout the book, Bomberger argues that a person's worth is not determined by the circumstances of his or her conception and that every human life possesses inherent value and purpose. 

The title comes from a phrase Bomberger says he has heard repeatedly throughout his life. Because he was conceived in rape, some abortion advocates have told him that he "should have been aborted." Rather than responding with anger alone, Bomberger uses his life story to challenge what he sees as assumptions about unwanted children, adoption, disability, poverty, race, and other circumstances often cited in abortion debates. 

EARLY TRAGEDY

Bomberger begins with the difficult circumstances of his conception. His birth mother, Sharon, was raped, and he was conceived as a result of that violence. He acknowledges the trauma his birth mother endured and expresses deep compassion for her suffering. Yet he emphasizes that while the crime of rape was evil, his own life was not. The central distinction he draws throughout the book is that a child's value is independent of the circumstances surrounding conception. 

At six weeks old, he was adopted into the Bomberger family in Pennsylvania. He became the first of ten adopted children in a household of thirteen children. The family included children of different races, backgrounds, and abilities. Growing up in such a diverse home gave him a firsthand appreciation for adoption, family, and human dignity. 

Bomberger describes his adoptive parents as people who did not define children by their pasts or biological circumstances. Instead, they created a home built on faith, love, and acceptance. He credits them with helping him understand that he was not a victim of his origins but a person with purpose. 

DISCOVERING THE TRUTH 

One of the most emotional sections of the book recounts how Bomberger learned about his conception and adoption story. As a teenager, he discovered that he had been conceived through rape. The revelation shook his identity and forced him to wrestle with questions about worth, belonging, and purpose. Instead of allowing bitterness to define him, Bomberger gradually came to view his story through the lens of faith. He writes about the struggle to reconcile the evil that led to his conception with the good that emerged from his life. This tension becomes one of the book's recurring themes: tragedy does not have the final word. God can bring redemption from circumstances that seem hopeless. 

ADOPTION 

A major portion of the book highlights adoption. Bomberger argues that adoption is often overlooked in cultural conversations surrounding unexpected pregnancies. Having experienced adoption both as an adoptee and as an adoptive father himself, he presents adoption as a life-giving alternative that blesses both children and families. He shares stories from his own family, noting that many of his siblings were adopted and that his own children include adoptees as well. Through these personal experiences, he seeks to dismantle the stereotype that adopted children are somehow less wanted or less loved. For Bomberger, adoption is not a "second-best" option but evidence that families can be formed through love rather than biology alone. This conviction runs throughout the narrative and serves as one of the book's most hopeful messages. 

FAITH, IDENTITY, AND PURPOSE

Faith is woven into nearly every chapter. Bomberger repeatedly credits God with giving meaning to his life and helping him overcome questions about his origins. Rather than seeing himself as an accident, he believes he was intentionally created and called for a purpose. The book explores how Christian faith shaped his understanding of identity. He argues that human value comes from being created by God, not from social status, race, economic circumstances, or whether a pregnancy was planned. This belief becomes the foundation for his advocacy work and public speaking. Bomberger often returns to the idea that every person has a story worth living. Even when life's beginning is marked by suffering, he believes God's purposes can still unfold in remarkable ways. 

SEARCHING FOR A PART OF ME

“Back in 2023, I applied to receive my original birth certificate in Pennsylvania. I thought for sure I would be rejected, considering the circumstances of my conception,” shares Ryan. Within two weeks, his birth certificate was in his mailbox. He saw his birth mom’s full name. His heart was racing as he headed to Facebook. It only took him moments to find Sharon’s obituary. “I felt like someone punched me in my chest,” he says. Two years went by and Ryan basically resigned himself to the fact he would never know about her. He decided to search some more. All I wanted was a photo of her. His wife, Bethany, helped him do another search online. Minutes later she said, “Oh my word, babe. I found another obituary.” It was one of his birth mom’s sisters. In that tribute, they found more clues to living relatives. A few clicks later, he had the phone number of the last remaining sister of his birth mom. 

THE PHONE CALL 

“It took me a week before I could muster up the will to call that number.” A sweet voice answered: “Hello?” I asked her about her sister who recently passed. She confirmed the details. “What is this call about?” she gently pressed. “Many years ago, Sharon had a baby. And that baby was me,” “No. No. Noooooo,” the woman gushed. “Oh my gosh! I wanted to hold you so bad!” she cried in disbelief. I found out later that she was at the hospital when I was born. The staff would not allow her to hold me. We talked for an hour and he learned a lot about his birth mom and who she was, which explained why I am the strong-willed person that I am.

Carol was not only Sharon’s sister. She and her husband took in two of her sisters (Sharon and Debbie) and cared for them through high school. Throughout the phone call, she kept saying, “We always loved you. We wanted to know what happened to you.” Carol was also the one who cared for my birth mom when she was pregnant with me.

PRESENT MEETS PAST

Weeks later, Ryan and his family flew down to Florida to visit her. We hugged tightly a few times. She gave Ryan pictures of his birth mom! He says, “Meeting my past affirms something far greater than just my own personal story: There’s no such thing as unwanted. My parents wanted me, and now, after many decades, I found out that there are biological family members who did too! My hope is that people can come to understand the generational impact of being stronger than our circumstances. Let’s create a culture that believes, even in seemingly impossible situations, triumph can rise from tragedy.

THE RADIANCE FOUNDATION

Today, Ryan and Bethany are the Founders of The Radiance Foundation, a life-affirming organization that creatively illuminates that life has purpose. Together, they educate people on social issues, utilizing billboards, media, events, and other means to inspire people to find their God-given purpose. His first ad campaign exposed abortion’s hugely disproportionate impact on the black community. Ryan has traveled the country to help pregnancy resource centers raise millions of dollars at fundraising events to support women and their born and unborn children. 
 

To learn more about Ryan Bomberger, click the LINK!  And to learn more about his ministry, The Radiance Foundation, click the LINK! 

CREDITS

Author, Should Have Been Aborted (Bara Publishing, 2026) / Emmy Award winning creative professional / Factivist / Co-founder of The Radiance Foundation / international speaker / columnist / educator / broadcast media designer / M.A., Regent University, named Alumnus of the Year / Messiah College Christian Stewardship Alumni Award / Married to Bethany, four children (two adopted)