An Affair and Depression Threatened Them, But God Healed!

Shelly Recio was in turmoil.  “To have proof of your partner being unfaithful is like someone died and your ideology or your thoughts or your perspective of who you were or what you guys were made of completely crumbles before you. And it's like, ‘oh, this will never be the same again’.”  Noel and Shelly Recio had been dating for eight years when they gave their lives to Christ in 2013. Shortly after, they tied the knot. Embracing their new faith, the couple poured their hearts into church ministry, confident it would lay a foundation for their love. Noel recalls, “The church felt like Heaven. It really felt like an escape from the street life that I had grew up living.”  And Shelly adds, “I wanted someone that loved God more than he would love me. And I saw all of those fruits.”

Two years later they had their first child. The celebration, however, was short lived as Shelly battled postpartum depression. In the few months that followed, their marriage began to fracture. Shelly recalls, “It felt like my whole world flipped upside down. I didn't even know how I was gonna take a shower. She was colicky, so she would cry a lot. I was sleepless and I had no idea how I could even attend to my husband or even think about going back to work. That was a complete nightmare, and I felt very isolated and depressed.” While Shelly suffered, Noel says, “I felt powerless. I really wanted to help her as best as I could as a husband. I thought that the deeper I dive into ministry, the closer I got to the solution. I neglected my marital duty. I neglected my duty at home. And the energy and the resources that I should have used at home I was invested in the ministry at the church.” During this vulnerable time, a woman at church expressed her attraction to Noel, offering affirmation he craved. Noel recalls, “I started to feel like I was wanted, like somebody looked at me with desire. This woman made me feel as if I was a champion.” It was then, an off-and-on affair began. Eventually, Shelly’s intuition, sparked by a dream, led her to discover texts between Noel and the other woman. Shelly says, “Here I am. I feel burdened. I feel alone. I feel isolated. Part of me felt like it's time to let go or give up. And then there was a part of me that felt like, no, you fight for your marriage, God is gonna restore you guys. Initially, Shelly kept her discovery a secret, to see where the relationship would go. Then, her depression subsided, and was replaced by a cold, indifference towards Noel. Finally, a few months after finding the texts she confronted him. Noel recalls, “My thought process was, is it over? Can it be fixed?  It's crazy to say this, but I never stopped loving my wife, even though I was doing all the things that I was doing.” Shelly thought,  “I'm already confused. I'm already broken. I'm already lost. And I decided just to step forward and say ‘whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen and if I end up leaving, I end up leaving’. And God told me to ‘be still. He doesn't need you to nag him, he just needs a friend’.”

The couple began opening up about their thoughts and feelings. Meanwhile, the off-and-on affair continued. Eventually, consumed with guilt, Noel left church and went back to his old ways. Noel remembers, “Drinking and doing drugs helped me numb the pain and the pain brought so much desperation that I could not process my thoughts. I was afraid I would lose my family every day of that affair.” Through this time Shelly says, “So many times I was ready, I was ready to pack up and go. I said, ‘No more. God, you could figure it out later if it's your petition. But I'm getting out of this house’. And that's not what God wanted for me.” The sporadic affair had lasted two years before Noel found the resolve to cut all ties with the woman. Repenting for his sins, he recommitted his life and love to shelly, his family, and God. Noel says, “When God forgave me, I felt like I got my integrity back. I felt like I wasn't a broken man. It wasn't damaged goods that when God restored me and forgave me, I felt like I could finally become whole again.” Again, Shelly turned to God, this time asking Him to help her forgive, trust, and love her husband once again. She recalls asking God, “Am I holding onto bitterness and hate and resentment for all that he did?’ And God said, ‘absolutely’. So I started to take all these different leaps and really like move forward to being more gentle, like having physical touch and being present with one another. We started going on dates again. We continue our nighttime conversations and that's where my heart started to get soft again.”

The couple rebuilt their marriage over the next two years, finding strength through their faith in Jesus Christ. Shelly recalls, “When I saw Him restore my marriage, I said, ‘there is literally nothing impossible for God’. Part of being a Christian is to forgive. And when you encounter that moment, Jesus is expecting us, just like He did with us, to be loving, to be merciful, to provide for that person if it's in your ability to do so. So, I got to do that for my husband.” While Noel says, “I feel like me and my wife can fight against anything. We were in love before, but we didn't know what our love could handle.” Noel and Shelly’s story is a testament to God’s power to heal. By surrendering their struggles, they saw ashes turn to beauty. Shelly says, “Sometimes we run away from the pain, but God says, lean into it so you can see what I'm gonna do. And that's where you see His miracles happen.” Noel believes, “God is so good that He can extend His goodness into the bad and brokenness and still use it for good. He did it for my marriage. He can do it for anyone.”
 

Special Acknowledgement: Story lead courtesy of Delafe Testimonies

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