- I believe that there was a God

but I also believed that he wasn't good.

I felt like how can an all-powerful,

all-good being let so manybad things happen in my life?

- [Narrator] Lucas Alisonwas molested by a neighbor

when he was a young boy.

The resulting pain andconfusion set the trajectory

for his life.

- I don't think I really had any idea

that it was wrong or thatanything was off about it

until I started getting older,

and then we startedlearning about those sorts

of things in school.

I was angry about a lot of things.

I was starting to become depressed

and sort of suicidal.

One of the first experiences I had

with an attempted suicide

was when I was probably12 or 13 years old.

- [Narrator] His father had suffered

a traumatic brain injury from a fall,

which made it difficult tohave a relationship with him.

- My dad was never reallyemotionally available.

After he and my mom divorced,

my dad, he changed a lot.

- [Narrator] Lucas turnedto drugs and alcohol

at an early age,

sought friends in the world of metal metal

and Goth music.

- I really resonated witha lot of the darker themes

and music that was reallyabout pain and abandonment,

and things like that.

So I didn't really have alot of friends elsewhere

but we were all kind oflike the outcasts together.

- [Narrator] Feelingdisconnected from his family,

and unsure of a direction for his life,

Lucas enlisted in the army

and was stationed in Iraq.

- The first time that Ihad been in an IED attack,

I just remember thinking tomyself like if there is a God,

and he's doing this to me,

then he's a jerk

and I don't want any part of him

'cause I still believed in God,

I just hated him.

- [Narrator] Lucas lovedto debate Christians

and mock their beliefs.

- I would just sit there and poke holes

in everything that I heard

or anything that peoplewere talking about.

I felt really bad about myself

and I wanted to kind of tear them down

so that they felt as bad as I did.

- [Narrator] After his discharge,

Lucas drifted for a while,

and had a brief failed marriage.

Then he met Sierra

who was raised a Christian

but had been wounded andjudged by the church,

and had walked away.

- When I met Lucas,

I didn't want anything to do with God

or any of the peoplewho claimed to love God.

I wanted to be as far way from God

and his so-called peoplein my mind at that point

as I possibly could.

And Lucas seemed to tick all the boxes.

- [Narrator] Sierra'smother had encouraged her

to write a letter to a former pastor

who asked to meet with her.

- He wanted to meet with me.

He wanted to hear my story.

He wanted to encourage me

and meet me where I was.

Just the kindness of him,

being willing to meet me there

was what turned everything for me.

It changed my heart.

- [Narrator] To Lucas' displeasure,

Sierra began attending church again.

Lucas decided to attend with her

so he could monitor her.

- I was worried that shewas being brainwashed

because I couldn't fathom in my head,

like how could she just likelet them apologize to her

and then all of a sudden,she's a Christian again.

And I'd be taking notes just listening

to everything that the pastor was saying

and just trying to find inconsistencies

and find reasons why itwasn't good information,

and I couldn't.

Attending church regularly

and listening to the message

and just reading a lot,

He really started tokind of soften my heart.

- [Narrator] A pastor atthe church encouraged him

to attend a three-day silent retreat

and Lucas reluctantly agreed.

- I did a lot of journalingwhile I was at the retreat.

I would read for a little bit

and then maybe I would find a passage

and I would just kind of look at it.

I would put down all my thoughts

as if I were having aconversation with Jesus.

And the more that I did that,

and the more that Ijournaled during that time,

the more I just kind

of had this overwhelmingfeeling of acceptance.

- [Narrator] Lucas came back

from the retreat a different person.

- I had definitely said okay,

I'm ready to follow Jesus

and I'm ready to give my life to serving.

I was given a veryperformance-based picture of God

when realized that Jesus isn't like that.

He doesn't ask us to perform for Him.

He just willing givesus salvation and love,

and all we have to do is accept it.

I started to be able to forgive my dad.

I started to realize

that really it wasn't even my dad's fault.

So I was able to start looking deeper

into my past and really addressing some

of the things that werekind of unresolved.

- [Narrator] Lucas went onto get a teaching degree.

Today the Alisons have a family,

and are serving God faithfully

at their church in Kentucky.

- When I think about howGod used not only my hurt,

when I see how God used that

to reach my husband,

the redemption of that,

him healing not just him

but he healed me

and it's just, it's amazing.

- I'm blessed to have sucha huge ministry field.

I can't actually share theGospel with my students

but that doesn't mean thatI can't minster to them.

That doesn't mean that Ican't love them by example.

It doesn't mean

that I can't live my lifein a Christ-centered way.

Faith is difficult for a lot of people

but when you actually experience Jesus,

then it makes faith impossibly easy.