- He speaks to every insecurityI had, and he was like,

"Man, you could just beas famous as you want."

- [Reporter] Joshua Broomwas one of the most popular

porn actors in the world,

and his choices led himto the brink of suicide.

- I wanted to die and Ifelt like I had dug myself

such a gigantic hole thatI could never get out.

- [Reporter] Joshua wasraised in a loving home

without the presence of his father.

- That caused me to feellike I need to prove myself

because I was strugglingwith this insecurity

and self-worth and identity.

- [Reporter] As a teenager,

he sought approval andan identity in modeling.

- This is something that I'm good at,

this is something I canfind, you know, purpose in,

this something I can findlike I can identify with.

- [Reporter] Joshua felt like he was

on an emotional rollercoaster

between acceptance and rejection.

- I felt a lot of affirmation,but it didn't last.

If I wasn't working onsomething or someone got a job

that I, you know, I wanted, again,

I fell back into, you know,

what was me, what's wrong with me?

- [Reporter] In his early twenties,

he moved to Los Angeles inhopes of becoming an actor.

While working at a bar for extra income,

Joshua was approached by some young women.

- They're like, "Hey, have youever thought about acting?"

And I was like, well,I'm an actor actually.

And they're like, "We'retalking about porn."

- [Reporter] The women introduced Joshua

to an agent in the porn industry.

- I opened the door,

and on the other side of that door

is this guy with a three-piece suit on

and a double Windsor tie,

and he sits there and he speaksto every insecurity I had.

And he was like, "Man, you could just be

as famous as you want.

I knew in my gut, my momdid not raise me to do this,

but I made that decision to say yes.

And then I went to that studio,

and to be honest, then next thing I knew

I was on my way home andI had a check in hand.

- [Reporter] He soon starredin several more adult films.

- That was a very long processof me justifying one thing

and then doing another,

and then all of a suddenis I stopped justifying it,

I just saw myself as this product.

- [Reporter] Beforelong Joshua was winning

adult film awards and becoming famous.

And still he was plaguedby a guilty conscience.

- It felt weird, but it fed this well,

at least I'm known for something

or at least I'm affirmed for something,

but it always felt wrong.

So there was never a night thatI laid my head on the pillow

and felt proud of.

- [Reporter] He tryingto shut out his guilt

by isolating himself andsoon became depressed.

- I wanted to die,

I saw my life and I hated what it was.

And I felt like I had dugmyself such a gigantic hole

that I could never get out.

- [Reporter] In a moment of desperation,

Joshua cried out to God.

- So I'm calling you out to this God

that I've vaguely knew about

saying I don't have theguts to take my life,

but I don't wanna live.

I wish in that moment,

I would have picked up thephone and called my mom

or called someone I trusted,but I just stayed there.

- [Reporter] He recommittedhimself to the porn industry,

yet the guilt remain.

- I'm taking a shower.

I'm trying to like washlike this feeling off of me

in some regard.

And I'm just so broken

that like I just don't understandlike where my life can go

or how my life can progress.

- [Reporter] Afternearly a thousand movies

making over a million dollars,

Joshua quit the porn business.

However, he still had no peace.

- That was the most broken I'd ever been

because I had the things that I believed

would bring me happiness andpeace and it didn't work.

- He took a job at a gymas a personal trainer.

And after nearly three years, he met hope.

On their first date,

he confessed his pastin the porn industry.

Her response caught Joshua by surprise.

- She said it like so like disarming,

like not like accusatory,

she was like, what did you do?

You not know who God is.

- [Announcer] The following week

Joshua attended church with Hope.

- I hear the gospelarticulated so clearly,

and he's telling me that God loves me.

And He loves me so much

that His pursuit of me is relentless.

Just felt this peace in this moment

and I gave my life to Christ

and know lots of tears and celebration,

but man, I just felt like this weight

that I was carrying was lifted off of me.

- [Reporter] A year later,Joshua and hope married

and now have three boys.

Today, Joshua is a pastor.

And wants others defined the peace

he's experienced in Christ.

- You can never earn your way to God.

So he came down to usbecause he loved us so much.

We all experience hurt,

we all experience failure.

We all have these experiences in our life.

And the beautiful truth is,

is that God's love foryou supersedes them,

and it can deliver you fromwhatever or whatever you do.

That is why God wants to meet you.