- I remember just glancing back with fear,

just looking at the dance floor

and there was people on the floor.

There was blood everywhere.

- [Host] On June 12th, 2016,

49 people were killed and 53 wounded

at a gay nightclub inOrlando, called Pulse,

the deadliest mass shooting in America.

Luis Ruiz, who went with friends,

was one of the ones who made it out alive.

- You know, there was so much shame

for even going to the club that night,

like, I felt like if this was what I get.

- [Host] Luis had lived

much of his life as a homosexual.

Growing up, he always felt different,

the kid with the thick glasses

who preferred playing with the girls.

When Luis was 10, a boyshowed him a porn video.

- I was getting so muchbullying and rejection,

and here's this guy that islike wanting me and desiring me.

I think it just wokesomething up inside of me.

- [Host] Adding to hisconfusion, Luis's dad,

a Sergeant in the army, didn'tgive him much affection.

- So as a child, I longed somuch for a father's attention,

a hero-like attention.

Rejection, for me, feltlike a lot of pain.

It felt like a lot of hurt,

like I just wanted to be accepted.

- [Host] Then hisparents became Christians

and they started going to church.

There he learned thathomosexuals were going to Hell.

- So as a young kid justgoing through puberty,

going through life,

and then also going throughsame-sex attractions

that I have no idea how to handle this.

There was a lot of timeswhere I cried myself to sleep.

- [Host] By high school, however,

Luis was open to exploringhis same sex attraction.

It happened in his senior year

while playing spin thebottle at a prom party

when he took a dare to kiss another boy.

- That was like my first kiss with a guy

and I remember just somethinginside of me exploding,

saying, whoa, I need more of this.

Like a drug.

- [Host] Soon after, Luis begansleeping with other gay men,

drinking and partying.

Even then he knew the lifestylehe was living was wrong

and wanted a way out.

He thought if he joined the army,

it would make him a real man.

In his 15 years of service, hebecame even more promiscuous.

- And I'm just living the life,dating men, cheating on men,

having sex with all types of men.

- [Host] After a medicaldischarge, Luis became depressed.

Unable to hold down ajob he became homeless,

sleeping with men just tohave a roof over his head.

Then one early morning,after partying at a club,

he ended up in front ofa church and walked in.

There he prayed with a womanto accept Jesus as his savior.

- I didn't know if tomorrowI'd be sleeping with men again,

I just, I knew at that verymoment He was after me.

I knew at that very moment

it could change my whole life around

and so I just gave it a chance.

I expected God to, when Iaccepted Him into my heart,

to take it away in a second.

I expected for me towake up tomorrow morning

and all those feelings would be gone

and when they came back, Ididn't feel like I was saved.

- [Host] Then in June of 2016,Luis ran into some friends

who invited him to come withthem to Pulse nightclub.

They'd been there a coupleof hours when shots rang out.

- And at that split moment,you hear someone yelling,

run for your life, run for your life.

I remember being in so much pain

because everyone is justtrampling all over me,

stepping on my chest, myneck, just trying to survive,

trying to get out of the club.

I thought to myself,I'm just gonna die here

and I'ma be here, I'ma die alone.

Someone came into the patio, picked me up

and walked me over to the7-Eleven across the street.

- [Host] Soon after, Luis hadanother frightening experience

when he learned he was HIV positive.

- And I remember justquiet for the longest time

and I couldn't believe it.

And I believe that God used that moment

to start to pursue my heart

and then I remember justscreaming out to God

and saying, God, I'm a gayman, what do you want from me?

It's almost like I've heard Him say,

it's not a gay to straightthing, it's a loss to safe thing.

I am after your heartnot just your sexuality.

- [Host] Now, insteadof focusing on himself,

he opened up to God'sforgiveness and love.

It was then he started to understand

his true identity in Jesus.

- I'm saved and I'm set freeand I know who I am in Christ.

Temptations are still gonnacome but the beauty about this

is that I get to respond with the gospel.

I get to respond with scriptures

and that's what changes everything.

- [Host] Today Luis and hisfather have a great relationship

and with medication, hisHIV is under control.

He and a ministry partner, AngelCologne, a Christian friend

who was shot six timesin the Pulse massacre

have formed the organizationFearless Identity,

it's purpose is to bringhope and the love of God

to the LGBTQ community andto those in the church.

- There's hope in Christ Jesus

and that there's no betterlife but to live in Him.

Don't try to pray the gay away.

In fact, just ask for His heart,

get to know the Lord's heartand you'll get everything.

I did.