- How would you describe motherhood?

- The hardest job you'll ever love.

(laughing)

(lively music)

(bell chimes)

- There are a lot of womenthat God has called into

both the workforce and into motherhood.

That are wondering how canI be successful at both?

So I wanted to interviewsome women who are.

And are wonderful examplesof how to balance your family

and your job and God's call for your life.

And I feel like these people do just that.

Terry Meeuwsen is just the best.

And if you are doing a segmenton motherhood and advice

and you have access to Terry Meeuwsen.

You're going to askher to be a part of it,

because there is so much wisdom

that you can glean from her.

And she, I mean, she's been miss America.

She's had this incrediblysuccessful career

all while raising seven children

and founding her ownministry, Orphans Promise

which has done incrediblework to help children.

So she just has so much wisdom

and I wanted to tap into that.

Here we go, Terry's office.

- Hi- Hi

- How are you?

Take your mask off.

- It's so good to see you.

- You too.

You look wonderful.

- Thank you.

- And after a baby.

- I know.

(inaudible)

(laughing)

- That's great.

Come sit down.

- All right. Wonderful.

Well, I have, I've brought some

I figured you'd already hadyour coffee this morning.

So I brought some juices here.

- You did?

- For us to enjoy

not to sound too much like my grandfather

but they're filled withall kinds of things

- Oh wow. - To protectus from this plague.

- So I could live forever.

(laughing)

- That's wonderful.

Okay, come sit down.

- I'm going to pull this chair around.

So I get to look at you.

- How are you?

- Wonderful.

- Good, good.

We've been surviving this year.

Well, it was yesterdaythat wasn't questioned

but I passed it.

(laughing)

- For Christian woman in media,

Terry Meeuwsen is like your Oprah.

She is just so gracious.

She's so humble.

She is just someone thatyou see on TV and you say

I want to be like TerryMeeuwsen and it's been so

wonderful that to have womenlike that you knew even at CBN

that I can look to as a mentor

and just as an advisor for myown career and my own path.

Thank you so much for making time.

I am so excited to talk to you.

- Aw thank you. That's so honoring.

- Yes, I look up to youso much, as you know

I just had a baby of my own.- Yes.

My world has definitely changed.

- You know, you can'tprepare for it. Can you?

- No. (laughing)

You could have all theadvice from your friends

that you want, but untilit actually happens to you

you don't realize how yourworld is going to be rocked.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Rocked is the word.

- You know, a lot

of my friends are havingkids too, and you know

we find ourselves veryfrequently asking each other.

How do you raise childrento love the Lord?

And when do you start that process?

and what do you even,what do you do? - Yes

You know, you don't want to shove it

down their throats, but you want

- That's so true.

And you know, it kind of, it can morph

into that sometimes out ofour concern, you know, we

out of our sense of being challenged

by the Lord to raise thesechildren to honor him.

Yeah. I'm a firm believer.

I mean, I did things thatI know other mothers do

you know, if we couldn't make it to church

we did home church for a while.

I taught in children's church at school.

So I could be with my kids at church,

but generally speaking, honestly

I think I would have to say

it's just making it a partof everyday life for yourself

in such a real way that theyit's not, what is that saying?

It's not taught as much as it's caught.

And I think that's thegoal that they would see it

in you and want that for themselves.

You know, when we try tojust hammer home what we want

I find usually heals digin and you know what?

I would've done that too.

I didn't really have that kind

of a relationship with theLord when I was younger.

I mean, I had a mom and dad who

believed in God and who loved God

and a kind of generic way.

That became stronger later in life

after I made a commitment toChrist that changed for them.

But I didn't have like a history

of how that was going to work growing up.

So for my kids, I think,and let me say, let me say

because I know this istrue for so many families

all my kids, aren't where I'dlike them to be with the Lord.

Even now they're grownups.(laughing)

And you know, some are walking closely.

Some are not.

And some are still testing the waters.

And, you know, I really feel

like our role as momsis to pray it through.

You know, I was like

I've gotten to the place with the Lord.

Rife's head, excuse me for this.

But you know, a mother's heart, you know

I don't know about you once I had kids

I just started crying all the time.

- Yeah, all the time.(laughing)

- That's why I keep clinics.

I just said, you know what, God

I don't even need to seeit to see it all happen.

I'm just, I'm putting them on the alter.

I'm trusting them to you.

And I'm just asking youto be sure if they make it

over the finish linebecause that's not my job.

You know what, Abby

it took me a long time tofigure out that isn't my job.

My job is to love them.

My job is to pray for them.

My job is to give them wise counsel.

But it's the job of the Holy spirit.

And if I become the Holy spirit

then I make children an idol

and I don't want my childrento be an idol in my life.

You know, letting go part.

I mean, I find as I'm

at this stage in my life, so much of life

as you continue on throughthe years is about letting go.

You know, it's about reallyjust saying, okay, God

you know, you're God, I'm not.

And you know, it's Wednesday

I'm going to have a cup of coffee.

And just get three deepbreaths. (laughing)

No. So yeah

- That's so good.

That's something my mom told me is

that the Holy spirit is the best parent.

- Absolutely.

Absolutely. And you know,your granddad is often

told this story of, I wantto say it was Elizabeth

but I'm not sure your auntElizabeth who wanted to go

out or do something with some friends.

And he didn't, he knew she shouldn't go.

And he said, go up to your room

and pray about it and askthe Lord what you should do.

And she came down and said, can't go.

- I got that a lot frommy parents. (laughing)

We're always, I always do what they do.

The answer would be.- Yes, and you're also

teaching them too, go tothe Lord themselves for

for a word from God that they'll hear.

- Yeah.

- One thing as I've startedworking again, you know

it's being in media, it'sa very demanding job.

It's not say regular hours.

It's not a nine to fivethat you clock into your.

There's just all kinds ofthings going on all the time.

So, you know, when I lookat you, you have kids

you have a very wonderful career.

You've had been evenMiss America. (laughing)

And then you've also,you've adopted children

and you've still foundtime to even help thousands

of children through Orphans Promise.

And how (laughing)

How did you do it all?

- I have no idea.(laughing)

Well, I would tell you this.

This is different for every mom.

And I don't mean to makeanyone feel any guilt

or look back and wish they'ddone something differently

because we all do what we

what we feel is best forus to do at the time.

I did work full timein media, in Wisconsin

when my first two children were born.

You know my first two are biological.

My last five are adopted.

And that is a different process in a way.

Although those adoptions tookabout the same amount of time.

As a pregnancy so.(laughing)

But you know, when mythird child was coming

and JP was coming and it had been a dream

of mine to adopt from Korea,and I felt what you're talking

about, the pressure of,you know, racing home to

nurse a baby, and youknow, the baby's crying

and you're frustrated and youwant the baby to be at ease.

And, you know, it's just a lot,

But I had a wonderful friendwho was so good at childcare

and I felt so confidentof my children being

with her.

When JP was coming, she wasleaving doing childcare.

And so it was reallyalmost impossible for me

as a woman to feelcomfortable with just finding

a childcare person.

And so I thought to myself,why am I doing this?

And to myself and my husbandand I talked about it

and we just decided thatI was going to leave

which was so foreign to me.

And you know, it never occurred to me.

We'd talked about thisbefore we were married.

I said, well, I'm notgoing to leave my work.

I mean, that's what theydo, you know, but I left

for six years because afterJP two years later, Tyler came

and I never missed one second of it.

We had so much fun goingdown to the river and

and catching tadpoles and raising frogs

And going on nature hikes

and doing things that I couldn't do before

(soft music)

- When I spoke to her.

And I heard her talk aboutwhen she got that call

from my grandfather and she laid

out everything that shewanted in order to work

at CBN, while also givingher all to her family.

I think what if he had said no?

- And he said, so what do wehave to do to get you here?

And I said, you know,you've had co-hosts before

but you've never had a mom as the co-host.

So here's what I want.(laughing)

I negotiated with Pat Robertson.

Imagine such a thing.

I said, I want to go leave work at 2:30.

Pick my kids up at school.

And I don't want to come back.

I want to be able to go on field trips.

I want to be a room mom, if I need to.

And if one of my children is sick

I want to have a little couchthat I can have them come

in and be with me.

And I want to leave rightafterwards and go home.

And he said, okay, you got it.

And I could see that God's plan

even though I couldn't understand why

at the time was so right for us to come.

And of course he knew about

later adopting our girls from Ukraine.

He, Opie was his visionand not mine really.

I mean, I was very pro adoption

but I had no dream of starting that.

So, you know, obedience pays off

(laughing)

And I just say it does bring with it.

Obedience brings with it blessing.

And so I think, you know, some people find

that happy way of being ableto work and have their kids

with someone that's verytrustworthy to them.

And some people go home.

Some, I mean, I just thinkeverybody, we need to

not lay things on each otherthat make us feel more anxiety

more pressure, more, youknow, juggling many things.

That's kind of life now.

I mean, I don't know about you

but I just feel like it'sall very fast moving and

and challenging.- Yes.

- And especially forwhat I'm raising a child.

And right now, youknow, I see social media

all day long where I seewhat other mothers are doing.

And I'm like, Oh no, I don'thave that for Anna Lisa.

And it's just, it's yeah.

- It's challenging. It's,really finding in a way

this is a good challenge though, isn't it?

Because it's reallyfinding what is your norm

with what God is speakingto you with your child

with your spouse, with your life.

And that is different for every one of us.

And it's okay for it to be different.

You know, God doesn't call us all to step

in line looking the sameand marching the same.

And, but he does call usto seek him and to seek

through things or sinks through things.

And, you know, really it's a deal of

I think learning to prioritizein your own heart, you know

where you put things, butit's, but that prioritization

looks different for every person.

- Yeah.

- So freedom, you know, there's freedom.

And the Lord came to set us free.

I want to be free.(laughing)

- And I know every parent probably feels

like they're raising their children

in the craziest time ever.

- And you know what, every woman feels

like somebody else is doing it better

than they are seriously. (laughing)

You know, we need to justbe kinder to ourselves.

- What advice just with everything,you know, a lot of stuff

even we're covering that's happening

in the school system orthe different, you know

what we're seeing putinto children's shows.

How do you navigate figuring out what

to allow your kids to do

but also allowing them tomake their own decisions?

- Well, this is an interestingquestion because my husband

and I are parenting again,we're raising our granddaughter.

Who's eight now.

And she's been with us for, gosh

I guess it's been about six years.

So I'm faced with all those questions.

And, you know, the world is different

in many ways than it was whenmy children were younger.

But in some ways, you know,it's the same old problems.

They have a different face

they look a little different,but you know, same challenges.

You know, I try to be really careful

with her about what we lether watch on TV, you know

limiting screen time.

But, you know, I'm learning tolimit screen time for myself.

- We all.(laughing)

- Yeah. So we're all on that journey.

And just talking with her about it.

You know, I can remembersometimes with my mom and dad

they're laying down thelaw or being very firm

about something and it built kind

of a resentment in mewhen I was a young child.

And I remember thinking I'mnever going to do that when

I grow up and have my kids.

But I find when I talk withher, when I explain the why

behind it, I know I don't have to do that.

I mean, it's not like mychild dominates, you know

how I react, but I feellike I owe it to her.

I want her to thinkabout what she's doing.

I just, she went onspring break and she went

on an overnight with afriend last night, a couple

of friends and, youknow, overnights are just

a little scary.(laughing)

I'm just say, I don'tcare how old they are.

And just said to her in thecar, you know, all the rules

about being, you know,polite and picking up

and all that kind of thing.

But here's the otherthing I want to say about

your night tonight.

If anything's going on, you need to say

if Jesus was standing inthis room with me right now

would I be doing this?(laughing)

- That's a great advice(laughing)

- You know, I'm going to laythis back at her. (laughing)

And you know, I think oneof the things that's good

about talking to yourchildren is that gives them

the freedom to come backand talk to you because

they know you want to listen.

You know, I want to hearwhat they have to say.

And so that's true.

It's all my grandchildren.

I have five and the sixth one on the way.

I'm so excited.

I cannot do businesswith your grandfather.

I mean his numbers areoff the chart. (laughing)

- Like 17 at this point.

- Crazy, crazy.(laughing)

- Along those lines.

I'm definitely gonna putthat in my think tank of

You know talking to your kids. (laughing)

- Are there other things,when you think back

of things you've done as amother that you think you

did honestly really well?

and would recommend othermothers incorporate?

- Well, I'm a big onefor family trips when

you can do them.

Because it kind of takes your child away

from all the other stuff that's knocking

at his or her door and bonds you together.

I realized not everybody can do that.

But you know what everybodydoes, do they eat. (laughing)

Now, I want to tell youI'm more laxed with this

with my granddaughter thanI was with my own children.

But I, we had a rule at our table that

that you could not make fun of anyone.

You could not say negativethings about anyone.

And if someone was talking

you had to wait until theywere done until you spoke.

Sometimes that work, youknow, it's, I mean, all

of these things sound good onpaper, but you, it's not easy.

I mean, you have to work at it, you know?

And so, you know, eating dinner together

I think was a prettyconsistent thing that we did.

So I see that as a placefor good safe conversation.

The thing that love coversa multitude of sins.

I feel like the best adviceI could give some young mom

coming into her role would be

Give yourself grace, you know

give yourself the freedom to make mistakes

and to learn as you go, youknow, God is like that with us.

And, we're to reflect who he is.

I think with our kids, sometimes

if we try to be too perfectand make them too perfect

we create this veryperformance oriented child

that feels a lot of pressure and anxiety.

How can we have the joy

of the Lord if we're underthat kind of waiting lists?

So I would say, rememberthat love covers a multitude

of sins and take three deep breaths.

You're going to make it.

(bright up beat music)

- I'm really grateful forthe advice that I've received

from these amazing women and for all

of the women that have inspired me

throughout my own life and my own journey.

That is why I want to try andpay it forward when I can.

And encourage you all todonate to Orphans Promise.

And to join Terry in her workto care for those in need.

Terry has worked tirelesslyfor years to reach children

around the world, and we havethe opportunity to support her

in this work.

To support Terry in this wonderful work,

providing education,food and care to children

around the world who need it most.

Please text "OPKIDS" to 71777

or visit orphanspromise.org/promise.

Thank you and God bless you.(bright upbeat music)