- Clearly I was receiving from her

that which I felt need for love,

whether that's legitimate or not.

- [Reporter] It started innocently enough,

Jay Martin, a pastor,

consoling a woman unhappy in her marriage.

- Then I wake up one morning

and she's my first waking thought.

- [Reporter] The problemwas Jay was a married man.

It had been 18 yearssince Jay married Jean,

the love of his life.

In a story too often told,the busy-ness of life,

his work as a pastor and missions,

her job as a nurse and raising four boys

left little room for themselves.

- You had two working parents,

you had four kids,

all involved in different activities

over the course of time,

that can just createa sense of disconnect.

- [Reporter] As for Jay.

- I was living in thispuffed up world of hate.

I feel like I deserve moreaffection than I'm getting.

- [Reporter] Jay would findthat on a missions trip.

He and a woman he had just met

were co-leaders of a group of kids.

She needed counsel, someone to talk to

about problems in her marriage.

Jay was more than willing to listen.

- Ego being fed, narcissismbeing fed, manhood being fed,

intellect being fed, talkingabout spiritual things,

which allows one to feel justified.

- [Reporter] While nothinghappened physically,

the attraction was mutual and strong.

Jean says she noticedsomething had changed

during Jay's firstsermon after he came home

- He was cotton mouthed,something was wrong,

and I kind of said something,you seemed uncomfortable.

- [Reporter] Jay just brushed it off.

However Jean's instincts had been right.

By now Jay and the other woman

who lived hundreds of miles away

had started talkingfrequently on the phone.

After nearly two months of phone calls,

Jay bought the first of manyplane tickets to see her,

telling Jean they were for work.

- I get weekends away withoutany of the distractions,

attachments orresponsibilities of real life

to just live in this littlefantasy island of reality.

And I was feeling stuff,I was feeling a rush,

I was feeling romance.

- [Reporter] Jay would havedozens of rendesvous with her

over the next two years.

He never intended onleaving Jean or his family,

but his mistress startedpressuring him to leave.

Afraid she might exposethe affair if he didn't,

he made empty promises,

becoming trapped in a circle of lies.

- I'm too big a coward tobring it out in the open.

Every time, every timeI look in the mirror,

who is this?

I'm riddled with barnacles and guilt,

but not guilt to the point of confession.

- [Reporter] Then threeyears into the affair,

someone brought up suspicionsabout Jay's personal life

to church leadership.

They confronted Jay and he confessed.

It was a relief thatthis had come to light.

There's clearly an end,

I don't know how it's going to play out.

Later that day, he told Jean.

She was stunned.

- I always know what to do.

I'm a very much I knowwhat to do kind of person.

I didn't know what to do.

- And she had been faithful.

I looked her in the eye and you know

to see her shattered in that moment.

- [Reporter] Within the hour,

they were on the phone with a pastor,

a mentor for advice and counsel.

It was then Jean brought upthe possibility of divorce.

- And we cried

and he said something along the lines of,

you know, Jean God did not reject Israel

when she was unfaithful,

don't hold me there, I am not God,

I'm just devastated.

- [Reporter] Jean agreedto try to work it out.

Jay repented and severedties with the woman,

and the couple started counseling.

For the next three months,

Jay slept on an air mattress in the den,

listening every night asJean went to bed crying.

- When I say my worldcollapsed beneath my feet,

I mean it was a long timebefore I had any idea

that our marriage was going to survive.

- [Reporter] Through months of counseling,

reading scripture and praying,

Jean found the graceto forgive her husband.

- I've learned, there was only one person

meant to carry the sin of somebody else

and I, because I hadnot forgiven unwittingly

was carrying Jay's sin on me.

I gave it to Jesus.

Forgiveness had a lot more to do

with my relationship with Jesus

than my relationship with Jay,

and it was the most freeingand liberating thing.

- [Reporter] She told Jay in a letter.

- There are many times I want my trust

to catch up with my heart and my desires,

but it is a stubbornly slowand methodical regrowth,

I guess beauty from ashesdoes not happen overnight.

Jay Martin, the absolute love of my life.

Well, that's amazing for me to say.

It is in that heart of gratitude

that I take this step of faith, Jean.

- [Reporter] That put the Martins

on a journey to complete healing.

In 2009, after three yearsaway from the pulpit,

Jay was reinstated as a pastor.

The couple say it wasGod's grace and mercy

that brought them out of brokenness

to a place even better than before.

And I am living withmore joy, more freedom,

there's not a night that passes

where Jean and I don'tsay we love our life.

- It was the power ofthe Lord to restore us,

pure and simple.

And he's given us everythingwe need for life and godliness

by his divine power.

(soft music)