- I just knew what I had tried, I liked

and so it had created almosta craving now within me.

- [Narrator] Ever since middle school,

California girl Kim Zember

had felt different than other girls.

Growing up in a loving, Catholic home

with two older brothers, shepreferred sports to makeup.

Then, in high school, she heard a rumor

that a friend of hers was gay,

which brought otherfeelings to the surface.

- I started for the firsttime thinking maybe I was gay.

I was drawn to this girl,and yet I knew what God said.

The scriptures were clear that,

you know, acting on homosexualdesires was not in His will,

and so it was a wrestle for me,

but it didn't stop the feelings I had.

- [Narrator] So, one nightat a party her senior year,

Kim kissed her friend.

Turns out the girl wasn'tgay and ended the friendship.

For Kim, however...

- I just knew what I had tried, I liked

and so it had created almosta craving now within me.

And I felt like I, from that moment on,

saw women differently.

- [Narrator] So, afterhigh school, on her own

and building a successfulcareer in real estate,

Kim started having secretrelationships with women,

even while dating men and going to church.

- I really was cravingsomeone to be intimate with

that would love me, care for me,

and that I could love and care for too.

So I lived a double life for years.

- [Narrator] Confused and ashamed,

Kim turned to a Christiancounselor for help.

- I was told that that's kind of who I am,

that I shouldn't fightit and that God loves me.

- [Narrator] Then, at 21, Kimstarted dating a Christian man

who inspired her to live out her faith.

- It didn't take awaymy desires for women,

but I did love who he was.

I saw Christ in him.

I could see Jesusliterally within this man

and I loved him.

- [Narrator] Kim says it was then

God led her to move toEthiopia with her boyfriend,

where she taught Englishand started a non-profit.

- It was in Ethiopia thatmy heart started opening,

that I started seeing pastmyself and into other people.

I didn't really have a desire for women.

When I was walking in purposeon purpose and for a purpose,

there was very few distractions.

- [Narrator] That changed very quickly

after they returned to the States

and her boyfriend proposed.

- I was absolutely terrified.

I knew that I was using this man.

I knew that I was stayingwith him to not be alone.

I loved who he was, but I was not in love.

I didn't know what todo because I didn't know

what my life would look like without him.

- [Narrator] In 2009, they married,

but Kim still struggled withher attraction to women.

A year later, she had an affair.

- I had promised Godthe night I got married

that I would never cheaton him with a woman.

I made a promise to God, butI didn't ask God for help.

And I broke that promise'cause it's one I couldn't make

and I couldn't fulfill on my own.

- [Narrator] Kim admitted toher affair and they divorced.

She also went back to counseling.

- The advice that I got was,

"This is who you are, live it.

God loves you," and I heard so much

about how much God loves me,

I thought, "Well, whyam I not loving myself?"

And so I embraced the lifestyle.

- [Narrator] No longer in the closet,

Kim spent the next few years

bouncing from girlfriend togirlfriend afraid to be alone

and still searchingfor intimacy and peace.

- Everybody told me that onceI would openly date women

and stop hiding and stop cheating then

that I would finally findfreedom, and I didn't.

I think it honestly was worse for me

because now I was livinga lifestyle openly

that I knew was not right.

In the depths of my being, I knew.

- [Narrator] Then, in the fall of 2014,

Kim discovered her girlfriendhad cheated on her.

That pain was the wake-up call she needed.

- I realized not onlywas I hurting myself,

I was hurting so many people, my family,

the people I was dating, myex-husband, and I was done.

I knew, I knew that God did not create me

to go around hurting people like this.

And so the only option Ihad in my heart and my mind

was to surrender, andI said, "I'm done, God.

I surrender. I give up.

And I just, I want you to be God.

I want you to be Lord over mylife, Lord over my desires,

Lord over everything I got'cause I can't do this anymore."

- [Narrator] Kim invited God

to help her deal with her struggles,

not just in that moment, but daily.

- I started to encounter Himin this real, tangible way

that I never knew.

I knew a lot about Him, butI didn't know Him personally,

and when I asked Him to beLord of my life on my own,

I started to experience Him.

I felt this intimacy that I was craving

in the physical where inthe deepest part of me

was now actually being fulfilled

in a way I never heard about.

And so, it was absolutelylife-changing for me.

- [Narrator] Kim continuesrunning her ministry in Africa

and is now what shenever thought possible,

a happy single woman who has found

true companionship in Christ.

- Jesus Christ Himself wastempted and never fell.

And so for me, I'm not looking for a life

free of temptation.

I'm just thankful that I have a Savior

that is greater thanany temptation I face.

And that's why He wants meto journey with Him every day

'cause I don't know whattemptations are ahead of me.

God created happiness,

He created fullness,

and He created us to live in that.

But we cannot find it without Him.

We cannot find it separatedfrom Him in any way.